Hello everyone I propose that we start this talk
with a little experiment
you have all received
a piece of paper like this
do you all have it?
I ask you all to take it out
and to draw
a gay man
feel free to draw that which comes to you intuitively
when I say the words "gay man"
don't worry about your artistic skills it is not what is important
you have 30 seconds off you go!
brilliant. I would like to ask you now to turn the piece of paper over
and this time to draw a "heterosexual man"
you have 30 seconds once again
so here we are. I am sure you are all curious to see
what the others have drawn
I give you all now a minute
to discuss your sketches in twos
off you go!
so we will stop the experiment here, thanks!
I see that the exchange of ideas was interesting
but we will stop here
I do not think that I would be very wrong if I told you that a majority among you
had drawn something like this:
two identical men, perhaps even an equal sign
because finally there is no difference between a gay man and
a straight man
at least not in terms of appearance
now, have some of you drawn something
different?
perhaps a gay with a handbag?
or why not a gay with an earring?
but I think none of you have drawn something like this:
two gays in a sexual act
however, the sketches that I am showing you are not fictional
they were all drawn by random people who were asked the same thing
during events like this one
these characteristics do not come out of nowhere
they take us back to the stereotypes present in the society concerning
homosexual, bisexual and transgender people
who amongst you has never heard that gays are less faithful?
or that they have a better taste
in fashion?
we have all heard them, haven't we?
and we find these stereotypes everywhere
for example
let me introduce you to Tinky Winky
perhaps you know of him already
Tinky Winky is one of the Teletubbies
a British television series for children
and well, Tinky Winky found himself in the middle of a controversy
in the United States
and was even threaten to be banned from Polish channels
why? Because he carries a handbag
and to carry a handbag certainly means to say that he is gay
and hence that he is a potentially dangerous model
for children
it makes us laugh but it was something that was taken
very seriously
we all have stereotypes in mind
I do as well
I grew up in a rural part of Switzerland and I have to admit that for a long time
my representation of lesbians
was not very different
from something like this
and if I had this mental image of lesbians, then this was my mental image
for heterosexual women
with these two images in front of me
where do I see myself?
as I discovered my homosexuality during my adolescence I was convinced that
I was not a real woman
in comparison with the heterosexual woman in this drawing
and hence I did not have access to the privileges
reserved for heterosexual women
for example to put on make-up or to wear skirts
but clearly I did not feel allowed to adopt
a more masculine behaviour either
in the end, I understood quickly that we live in a binary society
where on one hand we have women with their feminity and their attraction
towards men
and on the other hand, the men with their masculinity and their attraction
towards women
and I realized that there is not really a space in between to act and
and to exist beyond these imposed models
right now, when I asked you to draw a gay man and
a heterosexual man
perhaps you had in mind
for a few seconds, different images
but becoming conscious immediately that these were stereotyped
you changed your perception
and drew something more equal
which is very good
but in the end, what is interesting is to take seriously
these stereotypes that come to our minds
even if they last only a few seconds and not be ashamed of them
because if we want to grow out of our stereotypes
we should first be able to identify them
but why is it important to grow out of
our stereotypes?
well it is because they form the basis
of our perception of reality
of the explanation that we give to what we see and what we do
they influence the way we treat
the information that is passed on to us
it leads us towards generalizations, it makes us retain only that part of
the information that is in agreement with our preconceived notions
they also influence our emotions
concerning a situation or an individual like those of fear and disgust
they also influence our judgments and our expectations
and so we see that the stereotypes have an influence much larger than
what we usually think
and by affecting along these four levels:
our thought process, our emotions, our judgments and our expectations,
our stereotypes finally end up affecting our behaviour
and hence, to have a real impact on our relations with others
the influence of stereotypes on our behaviour has direct
social consequences
and sometimes they can be grave
in Switzerland, the rate of suicide attempts among young homosexuals is
five times higher than that corresponding to young heterosexuals
five times
for many of these young people, the gap between how the society expects them to be
and how they see themselves is just impossible to
bear with
on top of this, there exists the bullying that these young people face
from their schoolmates
or the other players in their sports team
at an age when we know that the sense of belonging in a group is a fundamental necessity
also, in contrast to other minorities who find support from their own families
because their parents have lived through the same experiences
as themselves
for example a family of foreign origin
wherein everyone is concerned
but young homosexuals, they have grown up with heterosexual parents
who are not more informed on the subject than anyone else
and who have not had the same experiences
as what their children might be going through
other situations look less serious but they are also laden with
grave consequences
let's take for example the workplace
imagine yourself
at your workplace
you are on a break, having coffee with your colleagues, you start to
discuss, everyone describes their weekend
mostly pleasant
imagine now a lesbian in this situation
it is most probable, unfortunately, that this woman will cut short her description
to avoid telling everyone that for the weekend she was off
to visit her girlfriend's family
it is also highly probable that she might not even take part
in the discussion
for a heterosexual person, this kind of discussion among colleagues
is pleasant and without consequences
but for the lesbian that I was talking about, this brings her back to her coming out
and hence to expose herself to potential judgment from the others
imagine yourself in her place
imagine not being able to talk about your wife or your husband
about your children
about your holidays, your weekend, or furthermore your friends
in the end, to not be able to share the important stages of your life
it seems impossible
but it is in fact what most homosexuals live on a day to day basis
a person who is not able to share his or her personal life
will have a tougher time integrating at the workplace
and the consequences that follow are well-known:
decrease in motivation, frequent absence, stress
and even depressions
it could even go further:
take the case of a gay man
who is a teacher
at a school where the majority of people
strongly believe in the established stereotype
that children should not be around gay men
this man, if he talks about himself, would be afraid of losing his job
think about how many homosexuals with similar professions
have to hide their true selves
perhaps even your children's teachers
and imagine how you would feel being afraid of losing your job
because of who you are
because of something that was not your choice
and someting that you cannot change
the examples that I talk to you about
are not exceptions:
in Switzerland
one in two homosexuals
is not open about his or her sexual orientation to his or her colleagues
and 75% of homosexuals do not dare
coming out to their employers
out of fear of consequences
certainly you all have lived through similar situations
wherein you felt cut off
from others at your workplace
finally, each one of you could be standing here in my place
telling your story
because irrespective of whether the stereotypes concern
our sexual orientation
our gender identity
the color of our skin or our origin
in any case, they limit our interactions with others
the experiences of exclusion that you have lived through
are the same as those felt by
homosexuals
we are all responsible
for the persistance of our stereotypes
and we cannot make them disappear just like that, in an instant
because it is difficult and it takes a lot of time to change our beliefs
however, what we all can do, starting today, is to adapt
our behaviour
and this is first achieved by breaking the taboo linked
to homosexuality
it is too often considered as something associated with the private life
sometimes even as a secret
we do not talk about it, because we do not dare
out of fear of saying something wrong or out of fear of putting the other person
out of ease
and why does this taboo persist so easily?
it is because sexual orientation, as opposed to the color of the skin
for example, is not something that can be perceived
also because it concerns a domain that we quickly classify as intimate
if we reduce
the sexual orientation of a person to his or her sexual life
speaking about it openly allows us to grow out of our stereotypes
and to pass on the message that being homosexual is not a problem
just as being heterosexual is not a problem
I am sure you are asking yourself how can I bring this
into practice?
a very simple thing to do
is to change the way we speak
because generally it does not include homosexuals and
words have a huge impact on people
let me give you an example
when I was studying at University I remember once, when a professor
in the middle of her class, said the following:
"it is difficult for female students to meet a boyfriend or a girlfriend"
it was not a course in gender studies but in statistics, hence it had
nothing to do
with homosexuality
if I remember this instance this precisely even after six years
it is because these words have had an enormous impact on me
because ever since then
I felt entirely included in this class
and I knew that I could be myself
breaking the taboo
can also be achieved by spreading a message of acceptance and
equality in our companies and our institutions
in this photo are shown the director of the Geneva University of
Art and Design
the director of the University of Geneva and the director of the departement for
education in Geneva
they are shown participating in the "I InterAct" campaign
launched by my organization
by doing so, they show their openness towards homosexuality
imagine the impact
of this photo on the homosexual students in these schools:
they know that they can fully be themselves in
these institutions
it is a strong message
you all can also be like my professor or these directors
you can all have a positive impact on the lives of the people around you
because you all are friends, neighbours, colleagues
or parents
and in this sense we all come across homosexuals
at the beginning of this talk many among you
have drawn something representing equality like this drawing
so let's associate words to this sense of openness, and let's be visible
as allies
do not underestimate the impact that you can have
you will largely improve the everyday lives of the homosexuals that you come across
everyday
perhaps without realizing it