-The 10 Worst Summer Transfers EVER! -Number 10
-Naby Keita to Liverpool for £48m pounds! He’s so good we signed him a year ago
and waited a whole season to get him! -He’s so good we’ve nicknamed him Naby lad….
-He’s so good we’re giving him the #8 shirt! -Which coincidentally is about the number of
games he played for us in 5 years. The guy’s had more injuries than a
crash test dummy… DOCTOR!!!!
DOCTOR!!!!!!!!! -Number 9
-WHAT?! -Alisson to Liverpool for a world record £63m?
How was this one of the worst signings ever? -NO, not that world record transfer for a goalie…
the one a few weeks later -Kepa Arrizabalaga to
Chelsea for a world record £71 million pounds! This will work out at about £8.8m
per save… oh my days… -Kepa famously refused to be
subbed off in a final… -In 2020 he was replaced by Edouard Mendy.
-HOT DOG! -What?
-Sorry Kepa. But you’re so bad at stopping long range shots…
…the lads have started calling you JFK. Hahaha. No but seriously, see you on the bench.
-And he missed a decisive penalty in the energy drink cup final… YAHOO!!!
-Kepa is so lame-o, even the fricking Saudis won’t buy him.
-Number 8 -Man Utd’s stupidly overpriced
winger and total bag of absolute poo… -JADON SANCHO! ANGEL DI MARIA! ANTONY!
-Wait a minute, it can’t be all three of us -Nope, I invited all 3 of you so the audience
can take their bloody pick… -Oh….
-You’re not fit to lace Ryan Giggs’ boots! -And you’re certainly not fit enough to sleep
with his sister-in-law! -Number 7
-Good ebening! We have signed Nicolas Pepe for a club record £72m.
Pace, dribbling, shooting - Nicolas can do none of those things.
-What? -I’ve no idea why Edu
signed him. -What?!
-I’VE GOT A TEXT! Oh, it would seem I’m fired.
-Pepe is so lame-o, even the FUGGING Saudis won’t buy him.
-That’s what I said about… -Kepa?
-No, that’s what I said about Kai Havertz. Then you came along! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Thanks for the 65 mill Mikel! You the man! -WHAT?!
-Van Dijk to Liverpool for a world record £75m? How was this one of the worst signings ever?
-NO, not that world record transfer for a centre-back, the one a few months later…
-Maguire to Man Utd for a world record £80m! -Cheap as chips!
I can tackle like prime Nemanja Vidic! I can head like prime Rio Ferdinand!
I can be an inspirational captain like prime Roy Keane!
-Prime Roy Keane? More like prime Mr Bean. -Mr Bean?
-HARRY! -You won’t be needing this…
-I’m back!!! -PFTTTTTTTTTTT. 89 MILLION? I
LET THAT SCUMBAG GO FOR FREE! -#POGBACK
-DON’T WORRY!
THE SPECIAL ONE WILL CONTAIN THE OUTBREAK OF THIS VIRUS!
-It’s working! He’s having muscle spasms! -PFTTTTT! THE SCUMBAG’S LEAVING ON A FREE!!!
-Who needs Ronaldo? I gave you Real
Madrid’s first ever plus-footballer! -Eden Hazard to Real Madrid for 100 million!
-4 seasons, 54 games, 54 injuries and 4 goals later… Real Madrid mutually terminated my contract
-Oh yes, “mutually” -Guys it’s been a blast
but I’m joining PSG! -What?
-ADIOS! -PSG? SELLOUT!
-Dembele you are cleared for landing, cleared for landing
-ARGH!!!!!!! -Oh dear.
-I think I’ve broken every bone in my body… -Don’t worry, Lionel! Time for Plan G!
-Number 2 -Antoine Griezmann for 120 million Euros!
-Where are you going Antoine? -Straight back to Atleti!
-Oh -Oh dear… well,
at least we didn’t blow 145 on Philippe Coutinh - oh no, we did blow 145 on Philippe Coutinh…
-I’m off to PSG!!! -Antoine wait for me!!!
-And the worst summer transfer ever is…
-WHAT? -Romelu Lukaku to Chelsea for £100m
-What about Fernando Torres for £50m? -I was bought in January, Romelu!
-What about Timo Werner? -Chelsea only made a 20 million loss on me, Romelu
-What about Alvaro Morata? -Chelsea only made a
10 million loss on me, Romelu! -What about Kezman, Shevchenko, Crespo,
Falcao, Higuain and all the other terrible Chelsea strikers?
-They didn’t cost 100 mill Romelu!!! -But did any of them make several goal-saving
blocks in a Champions League final, I think not! -You blocked your own team, Romelu!!!
-Oh yes. Yes, I forgot that part.