are you lost about what to do about your child's behavior problems when a negative behavior starts
do you feel clueless in this short video i'm going to give you nine simple and straightforward steps
to help you solve any of your child's behavior problems so you will have a real plan of action
this video isn't long so be sure to watch to the end so you will have the whole picture
hi i'm holly mclean the mommy answer lady i'm a certified parent educator mom of nine
and author of the book and online course how to train your child to behave you can view
new weekly content on this channel that will give you step-by-step instructional videos
to help you be the most effective parent you can be so please take a moment right now and subscribe
this nine step plan will help give you a direction as a parent when it comes to figuring out how to
solve behavior problems with your children it's really appropriate for ages two and up and can be
adjusted per their age so here's the steps number one have a conversation at a time of no conflict
plan to have a sit-down conversation at a time when there is no immediate problem going on in
other words not during a behavioral episode but completely separate from it number two
lay out the problem to your child in language they can understand remember the age and comprehension
level of your child even if two to three year old is starting to understand language better
and better so don't hesitate to talk to a really young one but also be aware of the language you
will need to use to make sure they understand what's being said be kind understanding and open
while talking do not have an accusatory attitude the idea is to be respectful to them as you're
laying out the problem number three ask them if they have any ideas about solutions and listen
believe me if you have a respectful attitude when laying out the problem most of the time children
are ready to listen and are especially ready to work on the problem if they're asked for their
opinion and if they have any ideas for solutions it doesn't really matter if they do or not just
give them an opportunity to express their thoughts and listen number four make a plan to solve the
problem with applicable consequences before you start the conversation you should have applicable
consequences in mind that will be applied if the behavior continues this is especially important
make sure the consequences relate to the behavior as much as possible for example if they've been
using the computer without permission access to the computer might need to be limited or revoked
for a time if they're staying up late at night and are supposed to be going to sleep bedtimes
may need to be adjusted or activities the next day limited because they have not gotten enough sleep
there are lots of specific related consequences for different behaviors that are on the short
instructional videos on this channel or in my book so you can check those out for more ideas in
a minute so lay out your plan for what will take place if the behavior continues number five ask
questions to make sure they understand ask your child questions about the discussion you just had
and see if they understand what was the problem do they recognize it's something that needs to change
what is the plan to change it what will happen if they don't follow the plan
number six role play you can actually make this part kind of fun tell them that you and they are
going to be actors and do a little play you can pretend this problem was just happening
pretend there is a situation that would be a normal trigger for your child's behavior issue
play out what they're supposed to do when this happens for example let's say they talk back your
consequence to this will be that they will cover their mouth until they are ready to apologize
this consequence relates to the behavior doesn't it so tell them that they have just talked back
and were disrespectful with their words ask them what they should do have them play out
what they do and pretend to come and apologize then praise them for the good job they did
at playing out the situation number seven remind them of the plan before triggers
usually behaviors that have become an issue are triggered by certain circumstances
before the scenario plays out take a minute and remind your child of the conversation and
role play you did with them let them know this is the moment when they will fulfill the plan
tell them you are anxious to see them behave like they should this will remind
them of the plan in their own mind and will become a challenge to see if they can do it
number eight follow through with encouragement or consequences if you see them follow the plan
lots of encouragement needs to happen many times just laying out the plan and talking about it
will do the trick but if they slip up following through with the consequences is important so
they will know you mean business your word can be counted upon and the behavior will not be accepted
number nine rethink and adjust if necessary with another conversation sometimes you can
make a plan and it either doesn't work or it works for a while and then it wanes
that's okay start again with number one and have another conversation go through the same steps
but adjust the consequence as needed to be more effective has this nine step plan given
you something to think about and a direction to go in when it comes to behavior problems in general
if so please remember there is weekly content that comes out on this channel so subscribe right now
also check out the other short instructional videos on this
channel or get your own copy of the book how to train your child to behave
that's available in the link in the description below parents you can do this thanks for watching