I'm bi when it comes to peanut butter.
Well, it seems like some of my Instagram followers
have asked me some advice for some very personal questions.
So I thought I would read them aloud and give them my answers.
@mart302?
Or Mari.
Is that Mari?
Can't see it either?
I can't see it either.
Mari?
I think it's Mari.
You know who you are.
Yeah, you know who you are.
Yeah.
There can't be that many Mart or Mari at 302 with newborns.
"How do I get more sleep with a newborn?"
Condoms.
Right?
No more newborns with the condoms.
But you already have one.
So how do you get more sleep?
Well, I wish Laura was here because--
Yeah, she has a newborn.
Yeah, our pet sitter and our assistant,
slash pet sitter/assistant, just had a baby.
And he's adorable.
His name is Miles.
He's really cute.
He's adorable.
He sleeps all night.
He does sleep.
He slept 10 hours the other night.
Can you drug your baby?
You don't want to hear that.
I don't know.
I don't have babies.
I don't-- I don't know.
You don't?
No.
Thought you did.
No.
OK.
We don't know.
Thank God by looks of it.
Yeah.
Drugging babies.
No, you would not drug.
You know that.
You know better.
You know that.
Sure.
OK.
So we don't know.
(MUTTERING) Just a little Benadryl?
All right, here's another one.
Number one most important tip for a healthy relationship.
What would you say, love?
We have a healthy relationship.
Um, we do.
Don't lie ever about anything.
Don't ever lie.
Ever.
No.
Like gee, does this sweater look good on me?
Not really, you know?
Maybe go for something else, right?
Yeah, I would have gone for something else.
You should have--
I was about to actually talk to you about the cream.
No, it's just it's important not to lie.
Not even tiny little white lies.
No such thing as a white lie.
No.
They're all just lies.
I'm blatantly honest.
She is blatantly honest.
I am.
I never lie.
She will say--
What I feel.
Yep.
Yeah.
And I always know where I stand.
Everyone does.
Why would I-- then you don't trust people
when they say things.
It's like, do they really like me?
Do they really think this?
Be honest.
It's good, right?
It's really good.
It's rare.
It's very rare.
So I would say yes, honesty in a relationship is very important.
Yep.
I think-- I think compliments.
People-- you shouldn't take someone for granted.
I tell her she's pretty all the time.
And that I'm--
I mean, she's not, but--
[LAUGHING]
And that you like my meals.
Three of them, yes.
I like-- there's three meals she makes.
I tell you--
Do I compliment you?
Not enough.
Oh.
You're pretty.
Thanks.
OK.
All right.
@human.ways.
@human ways I can play pickleball with you.
Is that your whole name?
@human.ways I can play pickleball with you.
I think they're asking, can I play pickleball with you?
Oh.
There often is randos
playing pickleball with you.
No, I know--
I invite them over.
4:00 any given day, just a bunch of people
on the pickleball court.
I know who they are.
You just don't know who they are.
How are you?
That's their question.
Fine, thank you.
How are you?
Fine.
No, I wasn't asking you.
Oh.
I mean, are you answering that person?
Yeah.
We're fine.
We're both fine, turns out.
How are you?
How can you politely say no thank you to an invite
that you were an addition only by default?
I think we had this yesterday.
Well, here's the thing.
Well, only by default. I need more information.
I guess that means--
You know you were an addition only by default?
Meaning they got it last minute.
Oh.
Like we did the other day, with that person for the birthday?
Oh.
I think that was a last minute-- when you're invited the day
before, that's--
you know.
And then you just say you have exploratory surgery that day.
That's a good one.
Yeah.
Or just, how about giving me more notice?
That's what I said.
Oh.
That's what I said to that person.
I think that's the safest thing is to say
you have exploratory surgery.
No one knows what that means.
It's very mysterious.
Just got my first kitten.
Aw.
Adorable!
I wasn't a cat person before, but now I adore her.
What do I need?
Well, you know what?
Your Paws Up box is what you need.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, DM me.
I'll send you one for free.
OK?
Yeah.
Yeah, they're great.
Aren't they adorable?
Kittens are just--
So cute.
You've got to get the right ones.
I understand there's some bad cats out there,
and you can't you can't judge all cats by a couple of cats,
you know?
Right?
Yeah.
Yeah, my mom has a bad one.
Oh, that's a bad one.
It's a bad cat.
She can't pet it.
She has to wear, like, huge garden gloves--
To the elbows.
--to try to pet the cat.
Like this, you know?
@mrohrs10.
MR's-- mrorhs10, @smooth or chunky peanut butter?
[LAUGHING]
I don't think that's their name.
Chunky.
You like chunky?
You know what?
I don't-- I don't have a preference, honestly.
I like them both.
Is that possible?
I think it is.
Yes.
I'm bi when it comes to peanut butter.