March was supposed to be the month
for celebrating women's history.
But we haven't really been able to focus on that lately
because of what's going on in women's present.
You see, a few weeks ago, the murder of Sarah Everard
sparked outrage in England and across the world,
and just last week, a gunman in Georgia
gunned down seven women
who he apparently blamed for his sex addiction.
Now, these tragedies each touch on a wide array of big issues,
from police violence
to racially motivated hate crimes,
but for many women,
they're only the most extreme manifestation
of a problem that they have to deal with
every single day.
The top story at this hour, the violence against women
and the conversation that it has sparked
among women around the world.
For many, it can feel like the only way
to guarantee your personal safety
is to stay at home, lock your doors and never leave.
The World Health Organization
says one in three women worldwide
have been subjected to physical or sexual violence,
and data shows the violence starts alarmingly young.
NEWSWOMAN: Around the world, six women
are killed every hour by men.
And for women of color,
their cases rarely in the headlines.
On social media, the post "text me when you get home"
now going viral.
Women all over the world sharing their stories.
We often are portrayed as paranoid
when we call out or when we say, like, "Oh, this is our reality"
when really, this is what we see and live every day.
I thought I was an overprotective mother,
so I was surprised to see millions of women out there,
their sisters and mothers and friends
asking other women to text them when they get home.
Okay, now, that?
That is truly depressing.
For many women, every time they leave the house,
it's a risk.
And this is not something that men experience.
Like, when the pandemic hit, men were like,
"So, just going outside is dangerous now?"
And women were like, "Yeah, add it to the list."
And that risk of violence is why women are forced
to constantly check up on each other
to make sure that everyone gets home okay.
It's become a normal part of women's routines.
Get home, brush your teeth, put on some PJs,
and then text your friends a picture
of you holding today's newspaper
to prove that you're still alive.
And that sucks for women on multiple levels,
because sometimes a woman forgets to send the text
and accidentally falls asleep.
And by the time she wakes up,
there are sniffer dogs looking for her,
and "Find Jessica" is trending on Twitter.
And the truth is even if women know
they will get home safely most times,
they never know which is the time that they won't.
Because for women, just being out in public
means facing a wide array of potential threats
from men.
People don't just wake up one day and murder somebody.
Um, they are taught from an early age
that there is a power difference between men and women
and that it is okay to use certain language,
certain behavior,
and they progress from catcalling and groping.
NEWSWOMAN: 96% of women 40 and younger
reported being harassed on the street in the past year.
I've been followed home.
I've been stalked.
I have had guys try to sexually harass me.
I was catcalled probably for the very first time,
um, probably 11 or 12.
And you have 30 seconds, that young,
to work out, uh, "If I say no to this person,
"are they gonna be okay with that,
or are they gonna start yelling at me?"
Yeah. That's a terrifying thing to have to deal with.
Women never know what a catcall might lead to
since that person already has the audacity
to start shouting at them on the street.
I mean, it's like the guy at the buffet
who starts grabbing rice with his bare hands.
Yo, that person is clearly capable of anything.
This is why so many women wear headphones
when they're walking down the street.
You think they're all listening to your podcast?
No. Half of them are just pretending
to listen to something so when a man catcalls them,
they can act like they didn't hear it.
And the other half would never listen to your podcast anyway.
Oh, you talk about sports with a mix of pop culture?
(gasps) Revolutionary.
So, women basically have to tiptoe
around the outside world
like it's The Quiet Place,
which is they leave the house armed to the teeth in case--
just in case-- they get noticed by the monster.
Too many of us have clutched our keys in our fists
in case we need to defend ourselves.
I now have a panic alarm, which is part of my life now.
On my keys on my key chain for my car,
I have a mini Mace.
NEWSWOMAN: Camila Parker packs up bags for her business
she started to give women a layer of safety
that fits into a purse.
The self-defense bags have a Taser, an alarm...
(alarm blaring)
...and pepper spray.
NEWSWOMAN 2: "Every woman you know
"has taken a longer route,
"has doubled back on herself,
has pretended to dawdle by a shop window."
I walk in the middle of the road,
and I did tell my daughters to do this.
That is a safe place.
Goddamn.
It's safer in the middle of the road?
Yo, how bad do men have to be
for women to be like,
"Uh, I'll take my chances with an 18-wheeler.
At least it won't tell me to smile"?
And I never want to hear anyone talk shit
about women's giant purses again. Like, ever again.
Look at all the shit that they have
to bring with them just to stay safe.
They got Tasers.
They got mini Mace sprays on their key chains.
What do men have on our keychains, huh?
Bottle openers.
I mean, that should tell you everything you need to know.
Women don't know when they're gonna be attacked,
and men don't know when they're gonna be surprised
with a tailgate.
"You got to be careful, bro.
There's brewskis around, like, every corner."
-(gasps) -(bottle opening sound)
But the solution here isn't to load up women
with weapons and gadgets like a human Swiss Army knife.
In fact, the solution doesn't really have anything to do
with women at all.
NEWSWOMAN: The burden has been placed on us to stay safe
rather than compelling men to change their behavior.
We are finding these comments on social media
about why was so-and-so going out at night,
why was she on her own,
why was she dressed like that,
why was she-- why she had a drink.
You know, seeking to blame the woman
for the fact that she's been attacked.
The mainstream conversation about, um, this subject
uses passive voice all over the place.
There's no active agent. Nobody's doing it to them.
They're just experiencing it.
That immediately frames the entire debate
as if it's your problem as a woman.
We are the culprit here.
Whether we like it or not,
this is about men.
And we have to deal with that fact.
And we can't even start to have that debate
unless we start to reframe it with men at the center of it.
That's right. The conversation needs to be reframed.
Because this is not about what else women can do.
You can't solve violence against women
without addressing the men committing it.
It would be like trying to address gun violence
without restricting access to guns.
I mean, that would be so crazy.
(chuckling): Like, who would be that stupid,
to think that you could stop gun violence
without trying to stop access to guns?
And I know right now a lot of guys are watching this going,
"Yo, Trevor, I don't murder women."
First of all, congratulations.
But, second of all, understand that there's more to it
than that, all right?
As men, we often act in ways
that we think are totally appropriate,
because we know that we would never do anything wrong.
But understand-- the woman doesn't know you.
She doesn't know that.
Right? Y-Y-- So it's easier for you to just not do those things.
Like, you might think you're innocently complimenting
a stranger's outfit in a parking lot.
But unless you're Christian Siriano,
she doesn't need to hear that from you.
We should also be teaching the next generation of men
to respect women and be aware of their experiences,
and we should start them as early as possible.
Like, as soon as they're done nursing,
their eyes have to be here.
But aside from children,
we have a responsibility to teach each other.
Like, as men.
Maybe we should start checking in with our friends
like women do.
Only, in our case, it'll be a little different.
"Hey, man, did you make it home safely
"without harassing any women?
"All right, great. Good to know.
-Love you. I mean, go, Packers." -(chime)
Look, the point is, as men,
we should be steering this conversation
to where it belongs,
centered on us.
Because this is our responsibility,
not to be creeps, all right?
So let's not make it the one thing
that we don't take credit for.