>>>
>>> WELCOME BACK TO "GREAT DAY HOUSTON."
HOUSTON."
HOUSTON." YOU MAY HAVE SEEN OUR NEXT
AGAINST ON COMEDY CENTRAL.
HE IS A 26 YEAR VETERAN OF THE
STANDUP COMEDY CIRCUIT.
HE IS HERE ALL WEEKEND AT THE
HOUSTON IMPROV.
HOUSTON IMPROV. >> GOOD TO SEE YOU.
YOU GOT A GOOD GROUP.
I DIDN'T EXPECT IT TO BE LIKE
THAT.
>>
>> TO
>> TO THINK YOU DIDN'T START OUT AS A COMEDIAN -- YOU WANTED
TO BE A BASEBALL PLAYER.
>> I PLAYED BALL.
UNFORTUNATELY -- I GET
EMOTIONAL WHEN I TALK ABOUT
THAT.
THAT.
THAT. I
THAT. I DON'T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT IT.
UNFORTUNATELY, I WENT TO JAIL.
I DID FOR A VERY SERIOUS CRIME.
WHEN I GOT OUT I WAS CALLED
UNCOACHABLE.
UNCOACHABLE. THE CRIME THAT I DID -- IT WAS
SELF DEFENSE.
SELF DEFENSE. AND I WAS RELEASED.
BUT THE TEAMS WERE CALLING ME
UNCOACHABLE.
UNCOACHABLE. >> WHAT IS GREAT ABOUT THAT
LESSON IS WE CAN HAVE IN OUR
HEAD WHAT WE THINK WE ARE GOING
TO DO AND GOD HAS OVER PLANS.
>> GOD IS FIRST ON THE AGENDA
OF MAKING YOUR LIFE THE PATH IT
IS SUPPOSED TO BE ON.
>> YOU WERE A FLIGHT ATTENDANT.
>> YES, I WAS.
I WAS GOOD AT IT.
WHEN THEY CAME ON THE PLANE AND
SAID WHERE'S MY SEAT?
I SAID FOUR INCHES LOWER THAN
IT WAS LAST YEAR.
LET'S KEEP IT REAL.
Y'ALL KNOW ME.
IT IS THE WAY I AM.
BACK WHEN I WAS A FLIGHT
ATTENDANT A LOT OF THE GUYS
THAT WERE FLIGHT ATTENDANTS
WERE OF THE GAY PERSUASION.
I HAD AN ALL-GAY CREW ONE TIME.
WE WERE CALLED MOOSE KNUCKLES
AND SOFT TAILS.
MAN, I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE SHOW
TO GET STARTED TONIGHT.
>> I WAS A FLIGHT ATTENDANT FOR
ONE HOUR ONCE.
I WAS TRYING IT OUT.
>> HOW DO YOU BECOME A FLIGHT
ATTENDANT FOR ONE HOUR?
>> I WAS DOING JOBS PEOPLE
THINK ARE EASY.
I WAS GOING TO WALK IN THEIR
SHOES.
SHOES.
SHOES. I
SHOES. I WAS BRINGING THE DRINKS.
ONE GUY HAD A DR. PEPPER AND
ONE GUY HAD A COCA-COLA.
I HAD TO DRINK IT TO FIGURE IT
OUT.
OUT.
OUT. >>
OUT. >> THAT'S WHY WE AIN'T GOING TO
MAKE IT RIGHT THERE.
BLACK PEOPLE AIN'T GOING TO
MAKE IT.
MAKE IT.
MAKE IT. THIS ONE RIGHT HERE IS WHY WE
ARE NOT GOING TO MAKE IT.
YOU CAN TAKE THE GIRL OUT OF
THE HOOD, BUT YOU CAN'T TAKE
THE HOOD OUT THE GIRL.
ALLEY CAT RIGHT HERE.
YOU GOT THE GOOD SKIN COLOR.
I WOULD HAVE TORE YOU UP.
I WOULD HAVE BEEN ON YOU LIKE
NIGHT ON DAY.
I WOULD HAVE LOOKED AT YOU AND
DID ONE OF THESE NUMBERS.
I WOULD HAVE CAME AT YOU LIKE A
PIMP BUT PROFESSIONALLY.
WE ARE NOT QUITE A MILE, BUT
BELIEVE ME, WHEN WE GET TO A
MILE YOU ARE GOING TO SEE
STARS.
STARS.
STARS. I
STARS. I LOVE PEOPLE.
RIGHT NOW IN THIS DAY AND TIME,
WE NEED TO START LAUGHING
AGAIN.
AGAIN.
AGAIN. EVERYBODY IS SO SERIES.
THE ANXIETY LEVEL OF EVERYBODY
IS UP.
IS UP.
IS UP. I
IS UP. I GO IN THE GROCERY STORE IN
ATLANTA SOMEBODY MAY WALK PAST
ME THAT VOTED FOR THE OTHER GUY
AND I VOTED FOR THE OTHER
PERSON.
PERSON.
PERSON. THEY WILL LOOK AT ME LIKE WHAT
ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
I LOOK AT THEM LIKE WHAT ARE
YOU LOOKING AT?
DID YOU GET CLARIFIED BUTTER?
HAVE A GOOD DAY.
EVERYBODY SAYS IT WITH
ANIMOSITY.
ANIMOSITY. >> WHAT YOU LOOKING AT?
>> I CAN'T DO MY NECK LIKE
THAT.
THAT.
THAT. DO
THAT. DO THE REST OF YOUR BODY PARTS
SNAKE LIKE THAT?
>> ALL OF IT.
>> THIS IS A FAMILY SHOW.
YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE BROUGHT ME
ON THIS SHOW BECAUSE I'M GOING
TO BE ME.
TO BE ME.
TO BE ME. >> HE DIDN'T GET UP EARLY TO
COME IN THIS MORNING, HE HASN'T
BEEN TO BED YET.
>> I PIMP ON THURSDAY AND GO TO
CHURCH ON SUNDAY.
>> PEOPLE SAY HE IS SO FUNNY.
>> I'M ALL RIGHT.
>> WHEN DID YOU DECIDE TO STEP
OFF THE LEDGE AND BE FUNNY FOR
A LIVING?
A LIVING?
A LIVING? >> BELIEVE IT OR NOT I WAS
WORKING FOR AAA.
I WAS A COORDINATOR AFTER I HAD
GOT FIRED FOR BEING A FLIGHT
ATTENDANT FOR SLEEPING ON THE
JUMP SLEEP.
JUMP SLEEP. I TOOK NYQUIL.
I GOT FIRED.
>> THERE IS SOMEBODY IN THE
AISLE PRESSING THE BUTTON FOR A
DRINK.
DRINK.
DRINK. >>
DRINK. >> I TOLD THE CAPTAIN I WAS
GOING TO GO TO SLEEP.
I TOOK NYQUIL.
I WAS SICK AND I HAD THE FLU.
ONCE THAT HAPPENED I WAS A
COORDINATOR FOR AAA.
I SAID GOD I'M TRYING TO GO ON
STAGE AND DO THIS AT THE SAME
TIME.
TIME.
TIME. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?
YOU HAVE TO SEND ME SOMETHING.
HE SENT ME A PINK SLIP.
WE GOT FIRED THE NEXT DAY WHEN
I SAID THAT.
THEY WERE SHUTTING DOWN.
THEY ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO
MOVE TO TENNESSEE.
WHICH WAS A NEGATIVE.
NOT TODAY.
NOT TODAY. HERE'S THE GOOD THING ABOUT IT.
ONCE I LOST THAT JOB, IT WAS
LIKE GOD WAS SAYING TO ME NOW
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
I SAID I'M NOT GOING BACK AND
WORKING A REGULAR JOB.
I MADE THE SACRIFICE TO
CONTINUE TO STRIVE.
THINGS STARTED HAPPENING.
ONE THING AFTER ANOTHER, ONE
THING AFTER ANOTHER.
I SAID I GET YOU NOW.
THAT'S WHY I KNOW GOD IS REAL.
HE'LL PUT YOU OUT THERE.
WHEN HE PUTS YOU IN THAT LANE,
IT IS HOW YOU DRIVE THE CAR.
>> YOU ARE DRIVING THE CAR VERY
>>
>> I
>> I KNOW
>> I KNOW YOU LOVE BASEBALL. >> ALTUVE!
>> ALTUVE! >> YOU WILL BE AT THE IMPROV
TONIGHT AT 7:30 AND 9:30 P.M.
FOR TICKET INFORMATION LOG ON
TO GREATDAYHOUSTON.COM FOR THE
LINKS.
LINKS.
LINKS. >>
LINKS. >> ARE WE DONE?
>> WE ARE