- Hi, I'm Hannah, your friendly neighborhood wine mom.
Tonight we're drinking some very light white wine
because I just ate my weight in Chinese food.
So, cheers.
Now, I know a lot of you guys watch this series
while you're drinking a glass of wine.
You wait til Saturday evening, you pour yourself a glass,
and you watch this.
So you guys are the best.
You're my favorite wine drinking buddies.
Let's talk about the worst people to drink wine with.
So first, the know-it-all.
There's always this one person who you're drinking wine with
and they're like, oh, you know, this bottle was harvested
in the nether regions of Netherland.
They harvested the grapes at the peak of winter
so you can taste the huckleberries that were growing
in the ground.
(crickets)
I don't care where it's from, I don't care who made it,
I don't care how old it was.
I have three questions for you when we are drinking wine.
My only exception to wine experts is Chris Webb,
our friendly neighborhood sommelier.
He's the best, he's amazing, he brings several bottles
of wine, and I can sip them while I'm listening to him talk.
Next, wine snobs.
These are different from experts.
They're almost worse than experts.
But there's always this person who will invite you
to a party, it's usually a dinner party,
and you'll bring a bottle of wine
and they're the biggest fucking snob about it.
They're like, oh, I only drink Bordeauxs crafted
in the 1800s, sorry, this is like a 1940, eh.
And then, if they try the wine that you brought
that's subpar, they make the biggest fucking deal out of it.
Like, they'll be holding the wine like,
I can't believe I'm drinking this, I never drink.
Agh, uh.
It's like, stop ruining everyone's time
with your assholishness.
Wine all tastes the same.
I think we can all agree that wine tastes the same.
So to all you wine snobs out there, I'm calling you out.
I know it all tastes the same,
and I know you know it all tastes the same.
So stop frontin'.
♫ I just do what I do
♫ You see me?
♫ I just do what I do
Next, the people who think that since you're drinking wine,
you have to talk about the most boring stuff ever.
Whenever I'm drinking with a group of adults,
all of a sudden they think that since we're drinking wine,
the following topics are the most fascinating things
on the planet.
Gardening, staycations, SoulCycle, Downton Abbey, meal prep.
Oh, I tried the best Blue Apron recipe yesterday,
it was a Thai chicken burger.
And it came with a lemon already cut, and it was so nice.
And then I had leftovers for the next day.
Is there anything better than meal prep?
Ugh, I don't care.
When we're drinking wine,
I want to talk about the important stuff.
I'm talking about important stuff.
That's what we should be discussing
when we're drinking wine.
Next, people who want to drink wine
anywhere besides here on my couch.
And my friends are always like, oh, let's go to a wine bar.
I'm like, for the price of one glass at the wine bar,
I could have two bottles here.
In the privacy of my own home,
in the comfort of my own couch.
What's wrong with Hannah's couch?
Literally I will offer to provide the wine
if we don't have to go anywhere.
Or they want to go to a wine tasting.
I've tasted wine, I know what wine tastes like.
Let's get a nice selection from the bottom.
Bleh.
Let's get a nice selection of wine
from the bottom shelf of the grocery store, and taste that.
Because it all tastes the fucking same.
♫ I just do what I do
And last, people who do measly pours.
'Scuse me.
They wouldn't make the wine glasses this big
if you were only supposed to pour it this full.
That doesn't make sense.
I'm not drinking super nice stuff
that needs to, like, aerate and shit, I don't care.
When you order a beer, they pour the beer
up to the top rim of the glass
because they made that glass for the beer.
So why with wine do they not do the same thing?
I want my glass, my full glass of wine,
just like I'd expect a full glass of beer.
Hey, you want to come fix this?
They say that a bottle is five glasses.
I believe that it's two and a half glasses
if you put your mind to it.
So, that's all I got for today.
I'm Hannah, your friendly neighborhood wine mom,
and if there was anything I missed in this video,
leave it in the comments.
What are the worst types of wine drinkers you know?
And as always, if you wanna, bleh.
And as always, if there's a topic you want me to discuss
in a future episode, leave it in the comments.
In the meantime, I'm gonna finish this glass of wine
because the ultimate worst people to drink wine with
are the people who waste wine.
Uh, is it weird if I pour this into my glass?
I don't know where you've been,
but this is perfectly good wine.
Uh.
Til next time.
(soft acoustic music)
That sip was too bad.
Ugh.