Manic-Depressive Psychosis : Mania, during the course of its resolution
How old are you Mr. Carsentier?
I just turned 49. It is a great age... I am not 50 yet so this is the last ... 49 years are gone
We cannot stop time, don't you agree?
We remain still, or like my dad use to say, "we will all get old, and then we will die"
Isn't life complicated enough?
But you know we can still work, still a lot of work to be done at this age
But everything is different, it is more intense, we start to appreciate things more
In the past when I would see a car engine, I never really *looked* at it
It didn't matter what is there, or why... Oh, here's a cylinder, here's a piston or something, an ignition, or whatever
But now, I love to look closely, to really observe... I'm always learning, always keeping up to date
You arrived on the ward a few days ago?
Correct
In your opinion, why were you brought here?
Well...
Perhaps I was overwhelmed, perhaps I had family issues, or maybe that I had quite a few things going on... That's probably why
And maybe it wasn't getting better, and so I was told by one of my doctors... He knows me very well, he's more like an old friend
And if I ever call him, he can get me admitted no problem... And maybe it was a good idea because I am feeling better here from one day to the next
Certainly you are much better. But can you describe to me what was happening when you first came here? What was going on?
I didn't resist coming in because they know about my case, so I knew I'd get admitted
I was told I'd be here for 3 or 4 days, but I knew it will be at least 8 or 10
Yes, but what precipitated you coming in? Tell me about your behaviour for example?
I wasn't nervous, I was calm... I knew I was in good hands
I knew what I was facing. The people here are very sensible, and they took me seriously, because [unclear mumbling]
Maybe I was a bit nervous, and also tired
I don't know how to explain it
Still, I was feeling good. And if they have good will toward me - then I can receive that goodness
And so the admission went very well
When you first came here you were barely sleeping
That's true.... It is different you see...
You were also working a lot at that time
Yes, I managed to work a lot
And it seemed things were getting somewhat disorganized with you
Sure...To sleep is to rest. An animal that walks on four legs will sleep standing up, on four legs
And I found that for example, if I woke up very early...
Well, it had to mean that I was sleeping well, and I was very nicely tucked in
But then again I didn't feel very rested, and if I add up all the time I spent sleeping...
Well, it definitely falls short of the recommended 8 hours
And how were things at your job? What do you do for work by the way?
I am an accountant for a scrapyard, a major firm where there's 800 to 900 employees that I need to sort out
There are a lot of things that need to get done. So I need time
Sometimes I'll be helping out as a cashier, then I'm back in accounting, and the next moment I'm an adjuster
And know, we used to always have 2 trades
My dad was a manager in an hospital... and a shoe maker at the same time
It was very useful, it definitely came in handy. It's thanks to that why I have so many amazing leather items
Or lets take my brother, he's an importer/exporter for a big company - but at the same time, his main trade is as an electrician
As for me, I do some adjusting on the side
I work with metal, I'll always find something to do with it, and...
I am even a cashier
Lets go back to the reasons for your hospitalisation
Your family thought that you were a bit too active. You couldn't keep still, and you were feeling rather euphoric. You were feeling perhaps TOO well...
Where? Here?
Yes, here too
Well, yes sure, I've been getting on very well here
It's not only the treatment that made me so euphoric... It is life, it is hope
It is the sun that brings people joy
People will be out, at the beach...
And what do we see?
In front of us is a sailboat, gliding gracefully as though on air
Out in the sea... It looks like some birds, perhaps gulls?
And we even have a few schooners...
I actually know how to man the sails... You know, to pull is to slow down, I realised it's the exact opposite of a gas pedal in a car
In sailing when you release, it means to accelerate, and when you pull it slows down
I've learned this all on my own, I created my own system for it in fact. The others couldn't really understand it, but I could
It's really only "push and pull", it was easy
So I did that for days without any trouble at all
...And when we're out there in the sun we are slowly getting that beautiful tan
And sometime we will even have a picnic on one of the bigger boats, like a 9 meter catamaran
But we lost the jib... The jib is one of the sails you see
Still, we managed to get back to shore with the help of a favourable wind
We had to use every skill at our disposal, and combine all our best efforts
And finally we arrived... It felt like we were the winners of a race, especially because the sea was very agitated that day
And at sea, what else do we see? Beautiful women
We can take walks, stroll along the beach, buy stuff at the market...
All this while the sun is shining down... How can that not make you happy?
Every time it is sunny [mumbling]
When you get a few people together in the bright sun, they'll inevitably start making such a lively noise, sharing their opinions, don't you think?
Do you ever feel that you are able to cause the sun come out?
No, I don't think so
I maybe I'll get a premonition... Lets say it's getting hot and I think I should go for a swim
So I'll put on my swim trunks and go out... And then a few hours later, it will be sunny!
It's beautiful, really very nice
And this isn't the end of it yet, we are only in early September, so we will have more sun yet!
Because there is a cycle, an ongoing flux
Like a menstrual... thingy
But the sun, the sun... It's beautiful
And we can hear the national anthem playing somewhere in the background...
And we've got ball games going...
That's a sport I really like, "petanque"
Just playing with a small ball, and then arguing over every single point, taking measurements
How can you not be in a good mood? You'll have to be feeling very glad
And then you look... And the sun is back
Speaking of being in good mood, you seem to be feeling very good yourself
Oh yes, I am doing just fine, I have no reasons to complain
What's the point of complaining about life? Life isn't about your pain or about...
It just doesn't make any sense
People will only listen to your problems out of politeness
So being in a good mood... Is something we need to nurture
And the bad moods, depressions... Better to keep that inside ourselves, because people will make fun of that, you know?
I mean they won't laugh straight to your face, but still... Or maybe even it's better to keep a lid on both the good and the bad moods
Does it ever happen to you?
The bad moods? Or the really great moods?
I can see you are feeling great right now, but do you ever feel the opposite, do you feel depressed?
Well yes, I suppose if for example a beautiful day is coming to an end, or if something we truly cherished that day is coming to an end...
But we already know that everything must come to an end, so why not be in a good mood? I've been in a great mood for years