[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]
Yes, they make you feel good when you walk out.
Yeah.
Can we do that again?
[CHEERING]
You could just keep doing that over and over again.
[CHEERING]
So nice to meet you.
I am a huge fan.
No, I am a huge fan.
You are so incredibly talented in everything that you do,
and I love this new movie, which we'll talk about.
Thank you.
And, so, this has been, really, just a couple of years for you
that this has been this kind of attention, right?
Yeah.
It hasn't been very long.
Yeah.
And are you used to it?
Totally.
No, it's--
[LAUGHTER]
It's bizarre.
But most of it actually centers just in LA,
so as soon as I leave LA, it's like nobody has any idea who
I am, and nobody cares.
Really?
Not yet.
It's almost offensive.
But, yeah, so, as long as I'm in LA--
You can carry these magazines that you're on the cover of.
Well, I'm just gonna get a t-shirt,
or just dress up as Katniss and walk around.
With a big bow and arrow behind you and everything.
Yeah.
I've always wanted to, like, dress up as Katniss
and go hiking.
[LAUGHTER]
People are grabbing their dogs, running away.
Where are you from originally?
Kentucky.
And how is your mother enjoying your success?
Oh, she's very happy.
She has more fun than I do.
She called me one time.
Recently, I've just gotten in to the Academy, which
was really exciting for me.
That's exciting for any actor.
And then I get a call from my mother, while I was in England,
and she goes, I did something hilarious.
And I was like, what?
She was like, I voted.
And I was like, you voted for what?
The Oscars!
And I was like, you voted for the Oscars?
What do you mean?
She was like, the ballot came here, and I voted!
Because she thought I'd be like, ah, ha, ha,
ha, that's hilarious!
I'm gonna get kicked out of the Academy!
Right.
Fortunately, she did it wrong and mailed it--
I think she mailed it back to herself,
so I got to do it again.
That's horrible.
So she just thought anybody who receives the ballot can vote,
like it's the People's Choice Awards or something.
Exactly.
Yeah.
I'm one of the people.
You have to be in the Academy.
Yeah.
Wow.
So, did you see who she voted--
Did you agree with who she voted for?
Yeah.
No.
I didn't.
[LAUGHTER]
Now, are you shooting--
Everybody reacted to The Hunger Games.
Huge movie, obviously.
Everybody is excited about the--
You're filming the sequel now?
You're in the middle of it?
Yes.
And where are you filming that?
We're just about to go to Hawaii, so, yeah.
Oh, that'll be fun.
Not too shabby.
Yeah, that's not too shabby.
But you were in Atlanta, shooting?
Mm-hm.
And you swam with sharks, I understand?
Not for the movie, but just to do it.
Yeah, just for fun just.
Because it's just fun.
Yeah, whatever.
I went to this--
And you wanted to swim with the sharks?
Yeah, well, I went swimming with sharks once before, when
I was in Belize, and I was, like, in the boat,
on the way to the sharks, and I was like, I was like,
yeah, because they're nurse sharks.
Like, they don't bite, right?
And he's like, no, no, no, they grab, suck, and twist the flesh
off.
And I was like, oh.
Oh, that's how they do it.
Yeah, so I was like, pff, I've done it.
I can do it again.
And then I was like--
They were whale sharks, so I wasn't originally afraid,
and then they said that the groupers were the most
aggressive, and that they were the size of a Volkswagen,
and I have a Volkswagen, so I know that a fish should never
be that big, and I became terrified of this grouper,
but they were like, don't worry, they always stay by the rocks,
and I'm like, OK, they always stay by the rocks.
And, so, I'm swimming, and I'm up at the top,
and it's whale sharks, and I'm not even enjoying myself,
because I'm like, grouper, grouper, grouper,
where are the groupers?
And then, lo and behold, there comes one swimming straight up
to the surface, and I start screaming and flipping out,
and they don't--
Like, it's in a tank, like, at a museum.
It's a very safe environment.
There's--
[SCREAMING]
That's a grouper.
Sorry.
Look at it!
That's huge!
Nothing should look like that!
I didn't know they got that--
I know what groupers are, but I didn't know they got that big.
Yeah, they get the size of a Volkswagen.
That's, like, actual size, right there.
Yeah, that's real size.
And they're aggressive.
And, so, if you're in an aquarium,
the aquarium must be gigantic, if that's in the aquarium.
Oh, yes, it was a very big aquarium.
Wow!
I don't-- Yeah, I don't--
It must be giant fish food--
I don't even like looking at it.
--to kind of dip over to feed the fish in that.
They do what?
I don't know.
I don't even know what you said, but it scared me well.
Whatever you said made my palms sweat.
Really?
Yeah.
I'm scared of groupers.
Well, I was just thinking, it was an aquarium,
and how they would feed fish like that, and that's enormous.
That's what I was trying to figure out.
Yeah, well, people who pay, and then I go in.
I thought, maybe, that flashed through my mind.
I was like, oh, my God, I'm part of a plot,
and they're going to feed me to the groupers.
[LAUGHTER]
Part of a plot?
Like, people would actually put you in there to feed you?
I don't know.
Yeah.
That's not gonna happen.
Hey, there!
Hi.
The audience is so well-lit, I feel like I know all of you.
[CHEERING]
It's normally dark out there.
No, I like-- When we started the show,
I thought they should be part of the show.
They shouldn't be in the dark.
They should be as lit as we are.
I like it.
So, we actually include them in the show.
OK, cool.
That's on purpose.
Do you want me to turn--
It's a little scary.
No, no, no, it's OK.
Do you not want to see them?
No, no, no, it's fine.
Just keep smiling.
OK.
Be supportive.
[LAUGHTER]
So, first of all, the movie is fantastic.
Portia and I loved it.
We watched it and said, this is, like, a good, old-fashioned spy
thriller, the way movies used to be made, and I just love it.
I think you're great in it, and I think the movie is fantastic,
so I highly recommend it.
I think it's fantastic.
Thank you so much.
And it comes out today, so now you're officially on vacation.
Yeah.
And you have an alter ego, when you go on vacation.
Yeah, I can't-- I can't go on a vacation right now,
because, like, I just can't--
I can't deal with Gail, like, at the moment.
I need to rest before Gail--
OK, why did you name her Gail?
I didn't.
She almost named herself.
I think my girlfriends probably named her Gail,
just by the way I look.
And it's a very specific drunk, too.
It's not just, like, every time I'm drunk,
I turn into this Gail--
You know, I think she's, like, some sort of tortoise gambler,
or something like.
I don't always turn into this masculine alter ego that,
like, jumps into shark-ridden waters
just to make my friends laugh.
My friends were like, that's, like, too far, Jen.
Like, no, not funny.
It's not every time.
I think it might be rum, which is what I brought up
to Colbert, because the only time I
drink rum is on vacation.
Well, you're on vacation.
Bring the rum.
[CHEERING]
I can't.
I can't keep doing this.
Oh, my God!
I can't!
I really can't!
I'll take this one.
OK.
Oh, my God.
They're all labeled.
That's rum punch.
They're fake, right?
Are they--
Let's see if they are.
That's real.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
This is gonna turn into my whole thing.
But you don't normally--
I'm not this big of a drinker.
When I'm on a press tour, I really drink a lot.
Yeah.
Only on a press tour.
Yeah, but, like, if I'm working, and, like, filming,
then I can't--
It's not like I'm, like, you know, like this every night.
No.
Well, you wouldn't be able to, because you're
very professional, and--
No, but the press tours, it's the only way
to make it through.
Yeah, so, let's talk about Gail some more,
while you drink that.
Gail is a lovely--
She's got a heart of gold, you know?
She's just--
Can we show a picture of Gail, because she
does look very different.
There she is.
There's my girl!
Zoom in, please.
That's how you normally look, and then Gail is--
What is the difference here?
First of all, that's not how I--
Oh, my God.
Look, I was trying to look cute.
I was, like, getting photographed with all
my girlfriends on the beach.
Like, I wanted to look cute, and look what--
I can't even repeat it.
Like-- My whole face is just crooked.
It's a different face.
Yeah.
That's not your normal smile.
No, I hope not.
No.
It might be.
I don't know.
But the hair, too, just so presidential.
Yeah.
What happens?
So, you become braver.
You go into shark-infested waters--
I'll just give you, like, five seconds of Gail.
So, from there, we went conch diving.
We pull up the conch, and the guy driving our boat
goes, look, they all have little worms.
I took it out of his hand and swallowed it, and then
pulled the worms out of all the conchs,
and swallowed all the worms, and some of my friends
are, like, kind of laughing, but they're like, hello?
Hello?
And then we pull up, and he's like,
and this is where the fishermen clean all the fish out,
you know, so there's all these sharks here,
and I was like, sick, and just jumped in.
And everyone's like, somebody get her some water and coffee!
She's gonna die!
Wow.
It was just, like, one masculine, like--
What are those people called, adrenaline junkies?
Adrenaline junkies.
And I'm normally, like, pretty cautious.
Uh-huh.
You sit like that.
I've never-- I sit like this in real life.
And then you get rum in me, and I'm just like,
let's arm wrestle!
Uh-huh.
So, because, usually, if you drink vodka,
you don't become Gail?
It's only rum?
I'm trying to think what I drank at your birthday.
Vodka.
OK.
I think you did.
Yeah.
And that did something else, but not Gail.
But I think I think someone was passing a tray--
I think it was Reese, walking around
with a tray of tequila shots, though,
so I don't know if you did that.
I probably knocked the tray over.
[ROARING]
I don't know.
All I know is, after five minutes, me and Jennifer
Aniston had our arms around each other, no, I love you the most!
No, I love you!
I love you!
We were just like--
[MOANING]
Nostrils flared.
It was really intense.
I love her.
And she loves you.
I love a lot of people at your party.
[LAUGHTER]
So, what kind of drunk was this on--
This was a red carpet, and I want to know--
[LAUGHTER]
No!
What?
No!
Oh, God, it was so awful!
OK, in my defense, please take her away!
Oh, my god!
Oh, my God!
That's not Gail, right?
No, that's someone else.
I just met her the other night.
I feel like her name ends with an E,
or, like, Veronica-E, or something.
I don't know.
So, what happened was I did Andy Cohen,
was drinking a lot of wine, and then I
went to Colbert, tried to sober up.
I was, like, drinking coffee, and I was like, uh-oh,
I got too drunk with the Housewives,
which is something I've always dreamt of saying.
So I was like, I got too drunk with the Housewives,
trying to drink coffee, and then he pulls out
shots of rum in the middle of the show.
Then I have to go to the premiere, and I am hammered.
And so I get on the red carpet.
I'm like, don't look drunk.
Don't look drunk!
And then I look like I've been electrified--
Oh, my God!
That was you trying not to look drunk?
Yeah.
Wow!
It would have been better just to look drunk, I think.
I think my nipple was out, too.
It was just all sorts of awful.
I don't think your nipple's out.
Is your nipple out?
That being said, I really think drinking is a good idea for me.
Yeah.
Good way to get through a press tour.
Yeah, no, it worked out.
You did 60 Minutes, and you live in my old home,
and it was so fun to watch what you've done with my home,
because I like it.
Oh, you do?
I love it.
Yeah, it looks great.
And your friends surprised you with a self-portrait.
Yeah, my friends are total jerks.
They're the worst.
Why was that so embarrassing to you?
OK.
Um--
I mean--
It was humiliating-- This is why it was embarrassing to me.
So, my mom comes over to my house,
and she has this painting, and I haven't seen it yet,
and she goes, I just have to tell you something about--
Oh, my God, please.
Oh, my God, it's so embarrassing!
My mom thought this was a masterpiece.
She said it was worth, easily, $3 million.
And my friend, Justine, the Italian one,
was there for this, for my mom saying,
this is an absolute masterpiece, and me being like,
Mom, please just throw it in the garbage.
Like, can we just--
It's not a masterpiece.
It's not--
How old were you when you painted it?
I was, like, I don't know, 16.
I was way too old to paint.
I'm not an artist.
And so my friend was there, and clocked it,
and I knew that that was bad, so I hid it in my garage,
and she found it the day that 60 Minutes was coming.
And, you know, like, 60 Minutes is coming.
I'm, like, so nervous.
I'm like, what are you guys gonna talk about?
What are you gonna say?
And they're like, come on, and then they go and do something
like that.
Well, I thought it was really good.
I thought it was really good.
So, we have a surprise for you.
(LAUGHING) No!
So, let's show everyone--
Let's go outside.
No!
That's not real!
That's not real, right?
Is that real?
[APPLAUSE]
I don't know, movie magic?
Oh, my God!
Look at the nose!
Look at the lips!
$3 million!
That is a masterpiece--
OK.
That's a masterpiece.
All right.
It's starting to feel like some sort of pawn.
Yeah.
All right, you're known as one of the most relatable, candid
stars in the world, and we're going
to see how honest you are a little later.
We're going to play Burning Questions.
Oh, boy.
All right, we're back with Jennifer Lawrence,
and we are going to play one of my favorite games.
It's called "Burning Questions," but, today, we're
going to call it "Jennifer's Law."
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]
If you could only drink one cocktail for the rest
of your life, what would it be?
[BELL DINGING]
Scotch on the rocks?
Really?
No.
Gin martini.
[LAUGHTER]
Really?
Dark and stormy?
What's that?
I don't know what it is.
I'm gonna say red wine.
[BELL DINGING]
That's what I'll say.
That's not a cocktail.
Otherwise, I would have said red wine too.
OK.
I am so sorry.
I will say tequila.
[BELL DINGING]
Are you OK with that?
Gin.
[BELL DINGING]
[LAUGHTER]
Who's a better kisser, Liam Hemsworth or Bradley Cooper?
Close your eyes and try to remember.
Bradley.
OK.
[BELL DINGING]
And I don't know.
[BELL DINGING]
If you could only watch one reality show
for the rest of your life, which one would it be?
I think I know.
Do you want to say it at the same time as me?
Yeah.
[BELL DINGING]
The Housewives.
Vanderpump Rules.
Oh.
What is it?
Yeah, see, close.
What is it?
Vanderpump Rules.
Oh, Vanderpump Rules.
I don't know, they've really gotten up and taken--
They're killing it.
Yeah.
You've called yourself a hypochondriac.
What was the last illness you were sure that you had?
Um, a stroke.
It wasn't, like, a disease, but I
thought I was having a stroke.
What were the symptoms?
Just a headache.
I love me on rum.
[LAUGHTER]
When you're alone, what do you talk to your dog about?
We talk about how we're gonna go for walkies.
We talk about how, if she ever sees a coyote, run to mom.
We talk about--
We mostly talk about walkies, and bones,
and how good of a girl she is.
She's such a good girl.
Pippi, if you're watching, you're a very good girl.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]