LET'S GET INTO THE HEADLINES.
OF COURSE, TODAY WAS SEPTEMBER 11th.
ITS WITH A VERY SOLEMN DAY ALL ACROSS THE UNITED STATES.
PRESIDENT TRUMP EVEN PAUSED TO COMMEMORATE THE OCCASION WITH A
STATELY AN SINCERE TWEET.
HE PUT WE WILL NEVER FORGET STVMENT A GOOD TWEET, IT'S
PRESIDENTIAL EXCEPT THE THING IS THAT TRUMP MAY HAVE SAID WE WILL
NEVER FORGET BUT THEN HE PROCEEDED TO IMMEDIATELY, WELL,
FORGET.
BECAUSE TRUMP FOLLOWED THAT RESPECTFUL TWEET WITH A THREE
PART TWEET STORM JAM-PACKED WITH ALL KINDS OF INSULTS.
HE WENT OFF ON CROOKED HILLARY, THE LAME STREAM MEDIA, SLEEPY
JOE BIDEN, PHONEY SUPPRESSION POLLS, NEVER ENDING FAKE NEWS,
BAD CULTURE.
HE EVEN CALLED ELIZABETH WARREN POCAHONTAS.
ITS WITH A REAL GREATEST HITS, YOU KNOW, IT WAS ALL THE HITS.
TRUMP WAS LIKE LOOK, I KNOW ST A SOMBER DAY BUT I'M THE PRESIDENT
OF THE UNITED STATES AND I'VE GOT A LOT OF PEOPLE TO INSULT.
(LAUGHTER) ALTHOUGH I GUESS THIS IS STILL
BETTER THAN WHAT TRUMP HAS DONE TO COMMEMORATE THIS DAY IN THE
PAST.
YOU MAY REMEMBER IN 2013, HE TWEETED AND THIS IS 100% REAL.
I WOULD LIKE TO EXTEND MY BEST WISHES TO ALL, EVEN THE HATERS
AND LOSERS, ON THIS SPECIAL DAY, SEPTEMBER 11th.
SO TOUCHING.
AND DON'T FORGET ON THE ACTUAL AFTERNOON OF THE 9/11 ATTACKS
TRUMP TOOK TIME TO CALL IN TO THE LOCAL NEWS THAT DAY TO SAY
THIS ABOUT THE BUILDING HE OWNS AT 40 WALL STREET.
>> 40 WALL STREET ACTUALLY WAS THE SECOND TALLEST BUILDING IN
DOWNTOWN MANHATTANMENT AND IT WAS ACTUALLY BEFORE THE WORLD
TRADE CENTER WAS THE TALLEST.
AND WHEN THEY BUILT THE WORLD TRADE CENTER IT BECAME KNOWN AS
THE SECOND TALLEST.
AND NOW ST THE TALLEST.
YOU KNOW, WHEN PEOPLE ASK WHERE WERE YOU ON 9/11, DONALD TRUMP
IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN SAY OH, I WAS ON TV BAGGING.
I GUESS WITH I AM TRYING TO SAY IS A CRISIS REALLY SHOWS
SOMEONE'S TRUE CHARACTER AND TIME AND TIME AGAIN 9/11 SHOWS
THAT DONALD TRUMP HAS NO CHARACTER WHATSOEVER.
(APPLAUSE) MOVING ON, A FAMILY OF CAMPERS
HERE IN CALIFORNIA BECAME STRANDED WHILE THEY WERE ON A
HIKE AND THEY MANAGED TO GET THEMSELVES RESCUED BY CARVING
THE WORD HELP INTO A WATER BOTTLE AND SNDING IT DOWN THE
RIVER WHERE IT WAS DISCOVERED JUST HOURS LATER BY OTHER
HIKERS.
AND BECAUSE THIS IS CALIFORNIA, THE FAMILY WAS IMMEDIATELY
ARRESTED FOR THROWING A PLASTIC BOTTLE INTO A RIVER.
(LAUGHTER) YOU KNOW WHEN YOU ARE IN A
CAMPING STORE AND YOU SEE THAT FAMILY WHO COME IN AND THEY BUY
THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF MOUNTAIN CLIMBING GEAR ALL AT
ONCE?
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TO THOSE PEOPLE.
(LAUGHTER) THIS IS TRUE, THE FAMILY ALSO
MADE THEMSELVES VISIBLE WITH AN SOS MESSAGE.
VOONTDLY THE KIDS HAD ALREADY MADE THAT MESSAGE AS SOON AS
THEIR DAD TOLD THEM THAT THEY WERE GOING CAMPING.
(LAUGHTER) AND FINALLY WE WANTED TO SHOW
YOU THIS, AN INCREDIBLY RARE TWO-TONED LOBSTER WAS JUST FOUND
OFF THE COAST OF MAINE.
HER IT IS HERE LOOK AT, THAT THE LOBSTER IS EXACTLY HALF BLACK
AND HALF ORANGE.
THEY SAID IT WAS A ONE IN 50 MILLION DOLLAR FIND.
ALSO IT WAS DELICIOUS.
ACCORDING TO THE DIRECTOR OF THE LOBSTER INSTITUTE OF THE
UNIVERSITY OF MAINE, TWO TONE SHELL FISH ARE
INGRED-- INCREDIBLY RARE.
THIS IS A SHOCKING DISCOVERY.
SOMEONE'S ACTUAL JOB IS THE DIRECT ARE OF THE LOBSTER
INSTITUTE.
ONE THEORY IS THAT THE LOBSTERS UNIQUE COLORINGS HAD INDICATED
IT HAS BOTH MALE AND FEMALE CHARACTERISTIC.
THE OTHER THEORY IS THE LOBSTER IS JUST A HARD-CORE BENGALS FAN.