- [Announcer] What happens to a comedian
when you take away their audience?
This is a show where comedians perform
in an empty theater while the audience
watches from the rooftop.
So the comedians have no idea
how the audience is reacting.
- Welcome to 7 Minutes in Purgatory.
(upbeat music)
Please put your hands together for Maria Bamford.
(audience cheers)
How're you feeling about doing the show?
- I'm horrified.
I think, uh,
I think I've made a mistake.
(audience laughs)
- I'm very excited to have you.
Are you ready to go down?
Alright, give it up for Maria Bamford.
- [Announcer] Meanwhile, their fellow comedians
will be watching from the greenroom.
- Here she comes.
- Yes, Maria.
- Alright, here comes Maria Bamford down the stairs.
She's now three floors below us.
We are on the roof
and she will have no idea how we are responding.
- Oh, oh, oh.
(audience laughs)
All you can do is do your best.
You give 20%.
- [Ian] Maria Bamford.
- Ha.
Thank you all for coming.
Uh, uh, I know I, uh,
I don't know any of you personally.
Perhaps I should take a second to sort of
get to know the audience a little better.
What's your name?
Um (nervous laughter), uh,
my name is Madison.
I'm not trying to put you on the spot or anything.
I'm just trying to create some sort of relationship,
you know to connect with the crowd.
So, how did you find out about tonight's show?
Um, it was free.
(audience laughs)
Okay, okay, sure, sure, sure.
I mean and that's a good way to,
did you come with anybody?
Yeah, I came with my friend here.
Her name's Amy.
She doesn't want to talk.
Hi Amy, don't be afraid.
It's a web show so like the lowest possible.
(laughing)
- Yes.
- [Maria] Bar.
- Bar.
- Hi, shut the fuck up, you stupid cunt
before I snap your neck in half.
(audience laughs)
Mom, the heckling, it's supposed to happen
a little later in the show.
I've got to get up some sort of sense
of the crowd's on my side and stuff.
Well, I'm just reading what you wrote down here
and that I should.
(audience laughs)
I just needed to let you know there's a guy
in Wyoming who saw your stand up online
and he just hates it.
He just hates it.
He doesn't want to see it anymore.
I just thought you should know that
'cause you're going to Wyoming.
You're going there soon and you might just want
to track him down and change his mind.
(audience laughs)
- This could go either way.
- Full body peek a boo.
(laughing)
Not a lot of comics are doing that.
- Full body peek a boo.
- I had an epiphanum.
I was so sick of myself asking that desperate question
of people in relationships.
How did you guys meet?
Did your hands come together by accident in a garden?
(audience laughs)
What do people in relationships always say?
They always say, oh, we just met,
we just really liked each other.
There's ups and downs but we still really like each other
and so we stay together.
Oh.
Oh, I see.
Oh, I'm sorry.
If you're bored with your miracle!
(audience laughs)
'Cause it seems like to me,
romance takes a lot more than that.
Like you've got to want it,
but no.
Be available, but I'm busy.
Me and my giggle pants, we have a chance
because we've got our high times.
Oh, we get real cocky.
Our kisses are so wonderful they should be on TV.
Then you have the craftsmanship stage.
That's when things take a little more effort,
a little embarrassing like in this job
where I say I wanna have new material,
but I don't wanna have to work it out
at a sports bar where the Raisin Bran Bowl is playing
and nobody's listening.
Well, Princess Daffodil, that would be
the whole fucking thing.
So why don't you learn to project above nine television sets
and make some friends.
And if you're lucky in life,
you get to have those dark times.
The relationship equivalent to two weeks in Laughlin, Nevada
bombing three shows a night
for hundreds of silent, angry jet skiers.
Laughing and crying, thinking this is not at all
what I wanted.
I've been doing this for 20 years.
People always say, oh, I bet you always knew
you wanted to be a comedian.
I did not want to do this show tonight.
That's very true.
But there's always one strawberry toaster pastry
left in the hallway vending machine
and you make it through another show.
And that way you get to nights like tonight
where it all seems like it was meant to be.
Thank you so much.
Thank you very much.
(audience cheers)
- Yay, Maria.
- Maria Bamford, let her hear it!
- Great job, great job.
- She can't hear it.
- I loved the full body peek a boo.
- I'm very proud of that.
- How did it feel, Maria?
- It felt awful.
- Like generally speaking,
what a terrible night.
(laughter)