Dating someone will always have
pros and cons.
However, dating someone from a different culture
will give you a few different types of battles.
So, what will they be
and what are some of the things that you will experience
if you are actually dating someone
who has a completely different culture to you?
Let's talk about that in this video.
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Hey everyone, welcome back
I’m Renee Slansky for Flirtini
the dating app that allows you to be able to connect
romantically or even just build friendships.
You can check out that below.
Now because we are in the day and age
where we are able to date people
from across the oceans,
different cities,
we live in a very multicultural type of society
there could be a possibility that
you end up falling for someone
that has a completely different type
of ethnical culture to you.
So, what are some of the battles
that you're going to come across?
What are the good things and also the bad things?
Now, before I jump into that
don't forget to subscribe,
give me a thumbs up, or a heart,
and drop a thanks Renee
if this video is helping you.
Okay, the first thing
that you're probably going to find
if you are dating someone
from a different culture is this.
You will have different views, opinions,
and possibly even morals.
For example, if you are
somebody that is christian
and you are dating someone that is Indian
and they have a Hindu rel... Belief sorry
then you may not see eye to eye on certain things.
They will have a different idea on
God, on religion, on maybe even how
the world was made
and you will have your christian perspective.
Another thing that you might find
is if you're dating someone that is
from an Asian culture
and you are somebody that is
from a black culture
we need to understand that the way that we're
raised and influenced for generations
of what that culture actually does
really shapes us as a person
and also affects the way
that we handle relationships.
So, this is something that you need to be able
to have an open mind about.
Just because they think differently to you
doesn't necessarily mean that they're wrong.
However you do have to ask yourself
is there idea their opinions the way
that they have their values and morals,
is it something that is just going
to constantly make me question
what we have together
or is it going to make me resent them?
Because that actually will represent
a lack of compatibility.
Number two, a big thing
that you will probably experience
if you're dating someone from a different culture
is your family or your friends
may not accept them.
Especially certain cultures
where they feel that it is necessary that
that person has to date somebody
from the same culture.
There can be a lot of conflict
especially when it comes to family.
Now, I have done videos on what to do
if your parents don't like your partner
and I would suggest checking that out.
However, what you need to do is remember that
essentially you're the person
who is dating this person
not your family.
However, if your family has a huge impact on you
and your peace and your joy
you may be put in a position
where you have to choose
either between the person that you're dating
or your family.
Maybe you will have to have some
hard conversations with your family,
setting some boundaries,
asking them to accept the person that you're dating,
asking them to be open-minded.
Doesn't necessarily mean
that you're going to get the answer that you want.
And in most cases,
it becomes a little bit messy
especially if one family is
really set on their idea of
who they want you to date.
At the end of the day,
you are your own person
and this is your life.
If you decide that the person that you date
is, even if they're from a different culture
somebody who is right for you,
who's compatible for you
then that is more important.
Number three, your future intentions
might be a little different.
And that's because certain cultures have ideas
that are different
on marriage and moving forward.
Some cultures are all about
yeah, let's get married straight away,
let's have a lot of children.
However, that might not be the idea
or the path that you want to be able to head down.
Now, if you're in the early stages of dating
it doesn't mean that you need to
start drilling them about questions of the future
because you're still getting to know them.
However, it might be
a good idea to pose the casual question in there
about you know what are their ideas
of a serious relationship?
What are their ideas of you know,
wanting to build something solid together
later on down the track
if things did work out?
Having an idea of
where their head is
and what their culture is when it comes to
building a future relationship together
will help you really assess
whether or not you're on the same page
and you're wanting the same thing.
Don't feel that you should be forced into
doing everything that they want you to do
just so that you can fit in with their culture
because their culture is so strong.
You need to be able to have your own identity
and communicate that whilst
giving them space to have their own identity
and to be able to feel safe
that they can be who they essentially are
even if it means that it isn't
culturally on the same page as you.
Okay number four,
compromise and conflict will be inevitable.
Now, in any sort of circumstance
when you're dating someone
there's always going to be some compromise
and conflict along the way
because you have two people coming together.
However, if you're dating someone
from a completely different background
and culture to you
then there's probably going to be
a little bit more compromise and conflict.
Whether this is compromise
on your religious belief,
whether this is compromise
on your family values,
whether this is conflict on
how you want to raise your children because...
These are important things
to be able to speak about
at some point, okay.
Before you start moving
into such a serious relationship
that you realize
that you both want to have
completely different things.
Conflict doesn't necessarily mean
it is a bad relationship,
constant conflict obviously isn't ideal.
However, having some sort of conflict
gives you an opportunity to communicate
and learn more about each other
and what your expectations are.
Now, either way, as I said
there will be some sort of compromise.
Meaning you may have to decide
well I can't go to my church every Sunday
because they
don't agree with that
or they want to spend family time together
because they're an atheist for example.
Is that something that you're willing to compromise on?
Another thing could be well,
they have a culture which is very much about
spending every single family holiday together.
I mean there's like
20 or 30 people in their family or more
where you're more of an
introverted sort of person
and you're not really comfortable with that
and you like to be able to have your space from family.
Remember that culture
doesn't necessarily have to be
based on race or religion.
Culture can also be
how somebody sees the world
and what they do in certain circumstances,
which is influenced by the way
that they've been brought up.
So, what are you willing to compromise on?
That will be the big question.
And lastly number five,
I want to leave this on a positive note
because dating someone
from a different culture doesn't have to be
a scary thing.
I think it is something that we should embrace
and it's something that
can give us an opportunity to grow
and to have a richer
and deeper relationship with someone.
And that's because we're put into a position
where we're forced to learn
about another culture,
understand somebody,
be empathetic,
be somebody who is flexible.
You know if you're just
always used to experiencing
love or dating a person one way
and then you fall for someone
that has completely different cultural influence
it really puts you in a position where
you can actually have
a completely different experience of love
and this can be a good thing.
You know there's so many different cultures out there
I don't think that we should be scared
when we are starting to date someone
from a different background to us.
Well, guys and girls let me know below
are you somebody
who is dating somebody of a different culture
and how is it going for you?
And don't forget of course,
to check out the Flirtini app
I've linked it down below in the bio
and give us a like or a heart
and share this with somebody if they need it
and of course don't forget to subscribe.
Until next time,
bye for now I’m Renee.
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