[Music]
mhm
yeah sorry I'm late my flight was
delayed and I came straight from the hey
you're supposed to catch it in your
mouth and you're supposed to keep
throwing Saltines into my face hole I'm
hungry what's with the backpack oh uh I
just came back from what I thought was
supposed to be a camping trip away from
my sworn enemy people but it turns out I
stumbled onto this weird adult summer
camp I've heard of adult summer camps
very hi very trendy very soring you're
lucky they didn't torture you do you
mean by speaking to me or just cuz it
was at a camp Katie doesn't mean it's a
horror film it was I just thought it was
weird that it was a camp full of adults
no no I'm not talking about horror films
I'm they would have seen you being all
adulty adult and they would have
punished you as would anybody that was
raised in the '90s except not us because
we know that you're not actually an
adult because we've been programmed to
torture
adults I
don't did you just confess to torturing
people yeah but that's not the point
here I mean the movies that we watched
in childhood films taught us that adults
are the enemies and they need to be
dealt
with think about it in all the Home
Alone he tortures two full grown men
Katie just smashed a glass on the floor
while talking about about torturing
people are we yeah but what is he
supposed to do Katie they're they're
breaking into his house in heavyweights
a bunch of kids get sent to fat camp and
they end up torturing the adult camp
oner Ben still yeah because he was crazy
and made them do all those crazy hikes
and stole their candy stashes whose
wonderful candies are these oh look a
deli
meat ooh remember candy stashes I love a
good candy stash hey can I get just like
some loose candy and like slim gy sticks
and pile preferably someone else's
personal stash please yeah but he was
actually trying to get them to exercise
unlike the previous Camp owners who seem
super chill about them hiding their food
and he's crazy and he yelled at them
yeah but they drove him to that point
when he clearly already had some mental
health issues how you doing little
Tony bad why do you feel bad cuz
everything's falling apart and I can't
do anything about it near the end of the
film they put him in a hole and in an
electric cage for like several weeks
yeah but he he deserved it of course he
did because he's a stupid
adult yeah smash bang thank you man
thank you man but they definitely got
along with that one adult guy right yeah
they were friends with Tom mwan who is
not a well functioning adult I mean he
can't even ask a woman to dance so do
you want to dance um uh no I have I have
a bad um sprained excuse me
he's like 30 right I mean I get that
then in Camp Nowhere they steal
thousands of dollars from their parents
just because they're going to send him
to summer camp summer camp yeah summer
camp controlled by adults I don't know
they have Christopher Lloyd is their
adult friend oh is that how you would
treat a friend blackmailing them and
forcing them to pretend to be a camp
owner and then forcing them to break the
law I mean they make him buy beer for
Miners and lie to the police the beer is
for
me breakfast of ch I it's just me and
Rudy running the lodge
here okay he was also not a responsible
adult I like him yeah of course you do
he was a wreck of an adult he was a
terrible person that's a bit harsh Katie
I mean they are both trying very hard to
and they make him go through the car
wash while he's lying to the police I
tried that after I saw the movie did not
work out well car wax gets deep into
crevices body
crevices real deep oh my God Katie is
right in blank check that kid constantly
lies to adults and puts them In Harm's
Way he sexually harasses a grown woman
and he steals a million dollars what's
the shortest guy you ever
dated I'm not really sure the
youngest yeah the guy he steals it from
ends up being a bad guy but he doesn't
know what the time he just does it oh
yeah I totally forgot about the weird
romance plot in blank check why do the
writers think think they needed a love
story between a 30-year-old woman and a
10-year-old so when can I see you again
Shay why don't you give me a call and
say about 10 years because she is a
villain too she's creeping on a
10-year-old kid women can be sexual
predators too it's
2017 I'm woke then in Man of the House
jtt physically and emotionally tortures
the dude that his mom is dating just cuz
he's kind of lame not even a bad dude
well in all fairness Chevy Chase is an
[ __ ] but his character was not I mean
the mom Farah faet is just trying to get
back out there let her have a life jtt
let her live her life so if the adult is
not your parent you have free reign to
embarrass disrespect and torture them if
they get in your way that's not quite
right oh good so then we can't be
trained to non parent adults aren't the
only ones I mean in House West they
kidnap and torture their own parents
because they don't want them to do adult
things like divorce you guys are getting
separated
what we don't understand is why they
emotionally manipulate them they make
them sleep on the hard floor without
sleeping bags and they force them to
interact with other terrible parents
that they kidnap who are these people
although they do feed them those
delicious looking cereal burger patties
like burgers in heaven hey can you guys
make me like a cereal burger patty one
order for the table park it right in
front of me yeah yeah they feed them
those weird burnt cereal patties until
they decide not to feed them at all I
mean if the movie had been reversed and
it had been kids locked in a basement
until they stopped fighting I mean that
would be child abuse all doesn't sound
so bad though I mean considering thank
you that we've graduated from simple
torture to kids straight up murdering
adults what oh yeah I mean Spy Kids and
Agent Cody Banks kill adults all the
time without batting an eye Spy Kids
kill adults willy-nilly on their mission
see you
asent Banks Hillary Duff kills this guy
with a nanobot that eats him from the
inside out and her face while it's
happening is just like just a smile and
dead eyes It's haunting you're
forgetting the most important torture
and kill all adults
movie they act like it's about finding
your inner child but it's really about
these killer children who spend their
entire lives just murdering adults it's
even the first thing that Rufio says to
Peter when he meets him oh thr up to
Pirates we kill Pirates Bingo and the
only adults who are embraced are the
ones who are just crazy toodle loses his
marbles and we're supposed to think that
that's good he's a good guy yeah the
only food that Peter can eat is
imaginary rainbow fluff and that's not
even there those kids are starving
although how good does that imaginary
Feast look can I get an imaginary fluff
Feast please thank you oh also the only
lesson that Peter learns by the end of
that movie is that he needs to always
leave his giant dangerous windows open
what have I told you about playing your
open Windows keep this window closed
that's not embracing your childhood
that's a surfy way to get night chills
and a stuffy nose and falling out of
Windows we're get kidnapped by Magic
pirates from the exact same window yep
in the same way we obsessively had no
visible parents in cartoons in the '90s
duck Tails Darkwing Duck Tail Spin gummy
bears Tiny Tunes mu babies our
liveaction movies had kids who tortured
and killed responsible adults because
adults deserve to be destroyed
excuse me can I have another water
please thank you but adults made those
movies and TV shows why would adults
train us to hate adults it was a
warning what what is the message of all
those movies that you should embrace
your childhood don't grow up too fast
that even every adult could stand to be
a little less adultlike I haven't always
paid enough attention to my
kids I pushed them too hard what did I
tell you about this
window always keep it
open I know we made mistakes Ned I made
most of
them just I don't think they would have
done any of this if we hadn't done
something right you messed up big
time
anyway I uh I brought you something they
were telling us that you know being an
adult sucks that adulthood is something
to spit on and Destroy that's why there
are all these hipster colonies in
Brooklyn where they make adults go to
summer camp people who talk about how
bad they are at adulting or all these
people who get so attached to these
childhood movies that they can't let
them go and just move on to the next
step of their life being a responsible
adult is a choice and these movies make
it sound like that choice is wrong and
evil and not deserving of our respect
and that we should stay children for as
long as we can or we risk becoming
adults and being tortured for it or
Worse
die I mean we were all always going to
die that's not new or Worse be murdered
by youth when we abandon our childhood
we're next on the kill list oh my God am
I destined to be killed by my son yes
kill
adulthood
but we're adulthood not if we can help
it come on everybody smash something in
agreement I didn't I got here late and I
didn't get anything to smash can I
that's fine that sounds smashable right
h bro I dropped all my invisible stuff
yeah a boy I just don't want her to know
I want to eat it all I don't want to
drop any hey everyone thank you so much
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[Music]