three things were delivered yesterday oh what a selection some rope oh my words
you don't have to give us the context it's like gamer cluedo this
some a fellow way which is um to relax a cat do you have a cat uh if you're weird
why would you want to quickly relax
we love this man and it's great to have him back on the show it's joe leicester ladies and
gentlemen oh that's nice what a nice interest it's lovely to have you here you're so regular now joe
as a guest here yeah as clockwork i want to offer you um it's like a bit of a time
share right okay so um here at absolute radio uh bush and myself uh we are given lockable boxes
okay to uh to keep stuff in you're in for a real treat tonight is this a hostage situation no no
no it's not no this is um we don't have desks or anything like that this is it this is all we have
so this is my lockable box yes and being that you are a picture of this yeah a picture of me
isn't it yeah it's old what are you saying joe i've piled some on oh with all piles but
there's room in here if you want to keep some joe license stuff because you're in so often
right hang on let's have a look in this you've got a you've got a whole binder for hair trail
it's very strange isn't he's got a section dedicated to hair gel that's the only section
you're not using these these are like the word
what would you keep in the joke if i'd go through i don't mind what would you keep
in the joe lycee lockable box if you were here just loads of um tic tacs probably you
always turn up with a bum bag attached to you and diagonal like you want to go through that
it would be fair wouldn't it what have you got in there what's this this is a honey lip balm
oh right now that sounds good this is a lip balm isn't german go and tell us leaping flag
um this is a malin gertz leather perfume which is my signature scent and it's
very nice if you've just joined us we're doing an inventory of joe license kit he's
got with him it doesn't know it doesn't smell of leather but it's nice though isn't it it's nice
lovely yeah um i've got uh my keys which i've got quite a few keys on this different things
my gold um nail varnish my uh air pods and then i've got my old
mobile phone i've got my burner phone
my current mobile phone my wallet my asthma inhaler because i've got
delicate lungs tell us about your burner phone what's going on there
i use it it's the name of the person who's on that phone is a man called ken roberts so i get a call
from him is that your pseudonym or something we're pseudonym he's an american new york
uh gay guy in his sort of late six mid to late 60s i'd say okay uh and he lives in new york and
he sort of helps run sort of pride events um when would when would you get a call from ken if you're
a member of the public uh he hasn't been called for a while but um sometimes i get whatsapps
and actually i had a phone call from the police on that number asking to speak to ken
okay wow i think joe might be on the run i'm going to move my lockable box because i don't know what
he's going to put in it and it could incriminate me don't let him anywhere near it that all relates
actually to my stand-up show but i won't tell you any more because i'd have to kill you but let's
talk about the stand-up tour it's fantastic you're getting back out there and uh doing an arena tour
tell us the name of this talk is a good name more more how do you like it how do you like
it now do comedians are they feeling under a lot of pressure at the moment to come up with a pun
uh on the name like what if your name was like uh gary puck or something john i mean you're
stuck with what to punt around there joe i mean good good fun can you can you go broadcast that
but can you go out there with just a non pun based name as a comedian yeah lots of people do but for
me the reason i started it is because when i wrote the title i wouldn't know what the show was about
i hadn't written it by that point and the shows often aren't about anything
my early shows were just sort of a series of jokes and routines so it's just a way of giving
it a sort of a mildly amusing title rather than just like my story or whatever that's fair enough
down on your puck down in a puck gary nice you've been thinking about that i didn't
with the touring and writing tours and then i saw i saw in your tweets joe that are you if you go
into gardening you are you have you got a bit of an interesting garden tell us about that do you
garden i've never gardened for i've killed a lot of houseplants over the years yeah like a massacre
they're so like um peace lilies are such divas because if you if you don't water it it just
droops like that like i literally just give it a pint of water and then suddenly it's like i'm back
and it's as quick as like within a few hours and then there's stuff that goes like oh you've given
me too much so i decided to die um they're so over the top aren't they have you grown stuff
that you can eat at home you're self-sustainable now uh uh licensed housing self-sustainable yes
um no no i mixed results but sweet corn this blew my mind last year i grew sweet corn and
i wanted to have a good crop and the year before it had like a like that had been gaps in the corn
and i thought that they'd been eaten by things but apparently you know on at the end of a sweet corn
they've got all those hairs that come off the sweet corn do you know yeah yeah they're cold
they're almost slightly off-putting they're a bit off they have it looks like a cow's yeah yeah yeah
but each one of those hairs corresponds to an individual corn and you have to get pollen onto
each one and if it doesn't get pollen on that hair then that corn will not grow oh wow so
what i ended up doing is going on like taking a bit of pollen from one of the other plants and
rubbing it on the hairs and i had a really good crop last year and stuff like that constantly
just amazes me i'm like this just evolved out of thin air and suddenly there's this
mad thing that tastes delicious yeah and lovely with a bit of butter and it just came out of
nowhere just decided that's what it was gonna do i love it that's amazing full of failure and full of
like disappointment and then these little magic moments where you go i just made a tomato and
i've just eaten it in my gob i just did that i love it but do you not worry for
next year's crop i don't want to be all doom and gloom but with this tour that you are on
and all the dates that you've got and then come to september it ramps into arenas yeah it's crazy
who's looking after losing license towers who's looking after the garden who's looking after
the sweet corn the tomato touring's obviously hard been away from home yeah wendy her name is
uh she's very good actually very good uh shout out to wendy um yeah i do miss being away from
home i love my home and i'm very because locked down we all just spent loads of time in it so
i kind of nested and got it you know gradually started that's why i was surprised in a bad way
why i was surprised about your gardening expertise because i imagine licensed towers to be
maybe uh rooftop garden in brick lane that kind of thing very trendy but it sounds like you have
like a proper normal house with like a garden than that yeah no i live in birmingham um and there is
no rooftop terrace that would be that would be nice if you got on the roof look like a protest
it would look like a breakdown and yeah it's like a mid terrace house on a like standard
sort of birmingham suburb street and they've got lovely neighbours and and yeah a nice i've made
the garden nice it wasn't that nice when i moved in but um i've got it a lot nicer so with all the
dates that you do do would you always like you do a gig and then you would you'd want to just
get home so you're waking up in your bed the next day kind of exactly that so i'm doing like two
or three day shows and it will be in the same place and then on after the last show i go home
and so i'm in my own bed that night but i like to explore the places like going
and staying hotel nearby and doing a little exploring walks and because comedians there's
a lot there's a lot of like obviously glenn who does our breakfast show with dave berry uh glenn
moore there's a lot of like driving late at the beginning i guess is there a point in your career
where that kind of changes where you don't have to like sleep at a service station all
that kind of stuff i mean i never slept oh no actually no i have slept in some weird places
actually i did a lot of like sofa surfing um but no no it's still like that's the least appealing
part of it for me is the m6 yeah god what's your favorite m my favorite m is actually the m 40. um
i actually imagine that's what heaven looks like yeah the pearly gates are actually that
cutting yeah and you've just been to beckons field services which is one of the greats and the first
services to have a weather spoons i believe my favorite way m is uh the little m32 into bristol
which doesn't have any service stations got some great garages on it it's got an ikea there we just
go there for evening not even buying any furniture just having meatballs yeah pretty oh how lovely
i always think that you can tell a lot about a person by their last amazon order
i've had an alert come up on my phone whilst we're interviewing
saying that only a few stops away is my delonghi water filter oh wow what a day this is going to
be okay you can tell a lot about a person in the most recent order what would joe lice's
most recent amazon order be three things were delivered yesterday oh what a selection some rope
oh my words you don't have to give us the context it's like game of cluedo this some a fellow
way which was recommended to me which is um to relax a cat do you have a cat uh if you're weird
why would you want to quickly relax
this third item is key joke it could go either way though some solar-powered garden lights
okay okay uh and also a couple of days ago behind the seams uh the book by esme young the judge on
saying the rope is because i bought a hammock for the garden and the hammock only just came
as the hammock and actually i need a rope to get it onto yeah um i'm going to put it under
the pergola the lights under the burglar have gone for some reason i can't get them to work so i've
got to get some new ones quite the story joe and then the feliway is because winston my cat i think
is a bit stressed because you get sad that i'm away yeah and there's been a rival cat coming in
oh my god right it's getting emotional isn't this we're getting right so i put set up this little
camera so i can watch winston have his dinner and i've got an automatic cat feeder which like
gives him so you're watching when you're on tour you can see how he can speak to him and say hello
i love it i discovered this rival cat was coming into the house and it's got like it's
very beautiful cat it's got this little neck um collar with like bells on it and i heard
the bells in the house the other day and so i sprinted downstairs to get this cat and actually
i'll show you a picture and he he ran outside he went on to the neighbor's shed and he licked his
look at lips face that's the face of a criminal just got away with it isn't it yeah
look how thrilled he is with that well what can you do about that then if a cat's coming into
your house and having i should get a chipped cat flap but i'm a bit like come on come on
i don't mind but uh because winston's getting stressed out about it i thought i'd put some
relaxing feliway in there apparently that's quite good is that like an upper
catnips and upper fell away is the downer i think so there's also a good youtube channel
with lots of relaxing cat music which i put on and i had a two-hour nap the minute i put it on
on a slightly more serious note i noticed that you tweeted about this uh in the past 24 hours and
it's a great bit of news now that you're on the show uh we're talking about blackpool footballer
jake daniels coming out as the first uh openly gay professional footballer you tweeted that's
wonderful that's an amazing thing i didn't say wonderful i should have put disgusting
wrong words can you believe it's taken so long disappointingly yeah i feel like it's sort of
i'm sort of amazed it's happened and i've been quite moved by it and it feels like a
really momentous day and i hope that it's not just a one-off and i hope that others
feel there'll be lots of people watching it now won't they going let's see how this works out for
him um it is it's an embarrassing part of football football for me i like i'm a supporter of west
brom i've been to one and a half games i'm gonna have to come back to that by the way yeah uh but
football has been intimidating to me it's not a space where i feel like i could necessarily feel
comfortable and safe the whole time right and i think that needs to change there's a whole there's
a market from just a capitalist point of view that they're missing out on of people that would
love coming to watch football that just don't feel safe there and i think it's amazing such a brave
thing and such a brilliant thing to do and uh what we are aiming for is for it to be for when it to
happen for you to not ask me a question about it because it doesn't it's irrelevant it's just who
cares so i hope that that's what will happen um it's so far to go though isn't there like it's
yeah do you feel like the reaction so far though has been really positive hasn't it oh god yeah
yeah amazing but it will be those sort of fans on the you know on the pitch that it's called banter
there's yes there will be lots of banter won't there i don't know who's i i'd like
to see sort of think positively about these things and i hopefully it's like the start of
a kind of loads of players because statistically there'll be tons of them out there yeah oh lovely
one and a half games yeah i went to one and then i went to another and i got a bit bored so i went
to the park can't just go at half time yeah you are touring until september where can people go
to get their tickets to see you they can go to joelitesit.comcomedy and yes there's tickets
most the theaters i think are gone they they often release tickets on the day of the show so
if you're in somewhere like i'm in cambridge this weekend if you look on saturday they will probably
release some last minute but then i'm doing arenas in september and oh boy newcastle needs some sales
yeah amazing well listen it's always lovely to have you on uh we're going to say goodbye to
you now joe but we'll just go let the audience into what normally happens we've had you on the
show a few times yeah you'll stick around for a little bit and have a bit of a chat and then
you just kind of go all right see you later and just kind of wander off with like a carrier bag
and always said to myself where'd he go what'd he do would you go the arcades or down the old
arcade what do you do with yourself i did go to the arcade in saltburn when i was on tour and i
went on one of those two penny machines great fun i could see how addictive that i was like
in there like getting really late i'm gonna get that sticker up um uh i'm today i'm going back
to birmingham to go to my cart that's nice what are you doing well i've got yeah i've
got a box order ahead and there's there's room it's always there for you it's all we're going
to say the box is always there i'm going to buy loads of rope in the middle just put it in there
that's what he's into