So the two of you are here to defend what you've done-
Yes.
... not to seek a solution?
No, no, no!
We want a solution.
We want both.
We need.
No, no, no, no, you're both defending what you did.
You said I've done everything that I know how to do,
and she's not helping,
and you're saying no, no, no.
Brittney and I are over here trying to work this out,
and he's watching TV in his recliner like all men do,
I, excuse me.
No I've done, I have done ...
I have had to make some choices
based on the situation that I am with my wife
and with my child.
There is some things that I've done-
No, we're messed up.
That I have not done-
Tell him.
... right in my parenting.
We have not parented well.
We did it.
There's not a book about that,
and I have no clue-
Oh the hell there's not, I wrote it about nine years ago.
(laughter)
(applause)
But I'm saying, I've taken some of that,
but not all of it, you know?
He's never even seen the book.
I've taken some of that.
Yeah, I know, that's a weird look,
but I have taken some of that-
He doesn't read.
... and I have tried to add some of my own stuff,
plus I've taken some of the stuff that my parents
have taught me and tried to add that in there.
He lets his parents parent her.
I've had that.
She's been dropped out since the sixth grade.
I would fight, do just about anything it took
for my daughter, and my wife, and my family.
This is something I just want you to hear.
Hold on, just hear this.
I have my listening ears on.
There are moments in time when we come to a threshold,
when we come to a precipice
where all things wrong can be made right.
There are moments in time where we come
to certain choice points
where you can make decisions that will be
outcome-determinative in your life
and that of your children.
And I'm here to tell you that I intend
for this to be one of those moments in your life,
and in order to do that,
you need to take this deadly seriously.
You need to be focused on what you need to do
with this child right now
and not who wins the tit-for-tat score card
between you and your spouse.
Exactly.
Do you think you are enabling her?
Yes.
Do you think you're avoiding bad behavior?
Yes.
She's got the car, she's gotten a phone,
she's got the best iPhone.
And she has-
Well I made a list.
Let's just, you said you've done it all.
You allowed her to drop out of school.
Yes.
And not only that, you bought her a new car.
Yes.
Her grand-, yes.
You have her a truck to replace the wrecked car.
Yes.
You gave her money, computer, iPad, iPhone.
You allow her not to work.
She has no enforced curfew,
no consequences for this behavior.
Yeah, she-
No, she-
You're aware she hangs out in the state parks,
smokes pot, and drinks,
and you allow her boyfriend to spend the night.
(audience gasps)
No.
All of these things, you two have said.
Yeah.
She has a curfew-
Do me a favor.
Stop talking for a second, look at this list.
Is this an accurate list?
Some, all, except for the ...
Basically the end curfew.
Everything else, yes, we've allowed that.
Yes, it's been done.
That's correct.
So you're telling me that she ...
As out of control as she is, that if you gave her
an 8:30 curfew, at 8:29:59,
she was standing in your doorway.
On some occasions, and sometimes she wasn't.
She was five minutes late.
(laughter)
Have an hour, hour, two.
No.
I have to tell you, I, I ask myself
not why she's nonproductive, but why not be nonproductive?
She gets all of the rewards
whether she does anything or not.
Right.
And you're telling me
I've done everything that can be done.
I've tried everything, Dr. Phil.
I'm out here on my own as a father.
Wife won't help.
I'm doing everything I can.
I've done it all, and I just can't seem to get any traction.
I should've been a little bit more-
A little bit.
... strict on things that I should've been strict
and put my foot down and not allow those things.
Tell me why you don't reward bad behavior,
why I say do not reward bad behavior.
You don't want them to continue that behavior.
Okay, so the behavior that we're talking about here
is dropping out of school, not having a job,
smoking dope, drinking, all that,
and you say okay.
The only thing I know to do is buy her a car.
The ultimate reason is,
I was always afraid that she would go somewhere
and I would never see her again.
Well, if she has a car,
you made it easy for that to happen.
That's what I tell him!
(laughter)
She will not stay home.
But it's like it's been okay, it's been okay,
it's been okay.
Oh wait, maybe it's not okay today.
Oh wait, it's been okay, it's been okay, it's been okay.
Do you get what I'm saying?
It's always never been okay.
Well, where the hell were you?
You're over here grading his paper like you're some,
you're some kind of monitor.
You're the mother.
I am.
The most powerful role model in any child's life
is the same sex parent.
Where the hell have you been?
I am here.