- Nobody knew there'd be a pandemic.
(tape rewinding)
(electronic music)
(bubble popping)
- When Trump first talked about the Coronavirus
earlier this week,
I'm not gonna lie, it wasn't exactly reassuring.
- The coronavirus which is
very well under control in our country.
(audience laughing) We have very a few people with it.
The people are getting better, they're all getting better.
And I think that whole situation will start working out.
Lot of talent, a lot of brain power is being put behind it.
$2 1/2 billion we're putting in.
It is a very good chance you're not gonna die.
(audience laughing)
- Okay, we're definitely all gonna die.
- I've just received another briefing
from a great group of talented people.
We're ready to adapt and we're ready to
do whatever we have to as the disease spreads,
if it spreads.
The level that we've had in our country is very low
and those people are getting better.
We're very, very ready for this.
I'm gonna be putting
our Vice President, Mike Pence, in charge.
I'm gonna ask Mike Pence to say a few words, please.
Thank you, Mike?
(camera shutters clicking)
- Thank you, Mr. President.
- I still feel safer with him than with Trump.
Because Trump, first of all, if you saw the briefing,
didn't seem to know anything that we didn't.
It's like, he just gets his news online with us.
He's just like, "I saw a thing, it looks bad.
"It's really pretty bad.
"It's like some have it, a lotta people have it.
"You might have it (Trevor mumbling).
"I don't even know if I have it."
And earlier this week, when Trump was briefed on the virus,
he seemed less concerned about a pandemic hurting people
than he was about hurting the economy.
Cause that's Trump's real nightmare, all right.
If his stock market gets sick.
Yeah, he will be like, "No, not my poor stock market.
"Not Wall Street.
"I'll nurse you back to health with my special chicken soup.
"It's a KFC bucket poured with diet Coke."
(audience laughing)
Now leaders all over the world are handling Corona
in very different ways.
Some are panicking and some are not doing enough.
Luckily for all of us, here in the United States,
there's one person who isn't worried at all.
- [Reporter] We have a report today the global death rate
at 3.4% and a report that the Olympics could be delayed.
Your reaction to that?
- Well, I think that 3.4% is really a false number.
Now, this is just my hunch,
it's because a lot of people will have this
and it's very mild.
So, I think that that number is very high.
I think the number, personally,
I would say the number is way under 1%.
- What the (beep) is that?
(audience laughing)
I've got a feeling is a phrase that should only be reserved
for low stakes situations.
You know like whether tonight's gonna be a good good night.
(audience laughing)
With Coronavirus spreading across the country,
I know a lot of people are scared right now.
But there is no need to fear my friends.
Because you see, the stable Genius-in-Chief is on the case.
- I like this stuff.
You know my uncle was a great person.
He was at M.I.T.
He taught at M.I.T.
for I think like a record number of years.
He was a great super genius.
Doctor John Trump.
I like this stuff, I really get it.
People are surprised that I understand it.
Every one of these doctors said,
"How do you know so much about this?"
Maybe I have a natural ability.
Maybe I should've done that
instead of running for president.
(audience laughing) - Yeah, yeah.
Maybe you should've done a lot of things
(audience cheering) other than running for president.
But this is where we are now.
Clearly Trump is not a natural expert at this
because he said the vaccine could be ready in a few months.
It can't.
Couple weeks ago, he said the number of cases
would quickly go down to zero.
It has been the opposite.
He even said, that you can't spread the disease
if you sneeze with your eyes open.
(Trevor sneezing) It doesn't help.
(audience laughing)
Last night the President held an emergency live address
from The Oval Office to calm the nation down
and to find someone else to blame.
- [Reporter] President Trump ramping up his response
to the Coronavirus outbreak
but instead of reassuring the public,
he caused more confusion than calm.
Like this statement.
- We will be suspending all travel
from Europe to the United States for the next 30 days.
- [Reporter] The Department of Homeland Security
quickly clarifying, assuring the travel restrictions
will not apply to, U.S. citizens, permanent residents
and some of their family members.
The ban instead would only apply to foreign nationals.
Trump caused more uncertainty
when he said the restriction would apply to trade.
- And these prohibitions will not only apply
to the tremendous amount of trade in cargo
but various other things.
- [Reporter] But Trump took to Twitter
to clear up that statement writing,
"It is very important for all countries and businesses
"to know that trade will in no way be affected
"by the 30 day restriction on travel from Europe.
"The restriction stops people not goods."
President Trump further jumbled the message
when he addressed the healthcare cause
associated with Coronavirus.
- Earlier this week, I met with the leaders
of health insurance industry, who have agreed to waive
all co-payments for Coronavirus treatments.
- [Reporter] A White House official later corrected
the notion saying, co-payments would be waived only
for Coronavirus tests, not for treatments of the disease.
(audience laughing)
- I'm sorry but this is, this is unbelievable.
I would understand if Trump made mistakes, right?
If this whole thing was off the cuff.
But how is it possible to get so many things wrong
in a pre-written speech.
This is crazy!
Watching an Oval address shouldn't be
a game of two truths and a lie.
(audience laughing)
He's just up there like, "The Coronavirus is very dangerous.
"We need to be vigilant and my babies
"that are growing up was Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
"God bless America."
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that Donald Trump
is as freaked out by Coronavirus as regular citizens.
Which is wild because he's the President.
And the reason I say that is because it turns out
that cameras carried on rolling
after Trump ended his speech.
(audience laughing)
And his reaction was priceless.
- God bless you and God bless America.
Thank you.
- [Cameraman] We're clear.
- Okay.
Okay.
(audience laughing)
- Yeah.
That is not the sound you want to hear from a president
after a serious address.
FDR didn't reassure the nation by saying,
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
"Okay, daddy needs a margarita.
"Can I get a margarita?
"I need a drink.
"Oh, they're still here?"
Donald Jehoshaphat Trump.
He's the one man we're all forced
to listen to during this crisis.
And everyday, he reminds us,
why hiring him was America's biggest mistake.
- It's very uncharted territory.
Could've been stopped pretty easily if we had known,
if everybody had known about it.
A number of months before, people started reading about it.
Nobody knew there'd be a pandemic
or an epidemic of this proportion.
Nobody has ever seen anything like this before.
- Yes, everybody including Trump didn't know
how big this thing was.
Except for Trump, who knew how big this thing was
but didn't do anything
because he didn't know how big this thing was.
It makes perfect sense.
While more and more countries around the world
are shutting down to stop Coronavirus from spreading,
Donald Jameson Trump is preparing for a grand opening.
- America will again and soon be open for business.
Very soon, a lot sooner than three of four months
that somebody was suggesting a lot sooner.
We cannot let the cure be worse than the problem itself.
We're not gonna let the cure be worse than the problem.
- President Trump now says he wants
to re-open the country for business by Easter.
Even as health officials warn the Coronavirus pandemic
will continue to worsen in the U.S.
- Easter's a very special day for me.
And I say wouldn't it be great
to have all of the churches full.
You know the churches aren't allowed,
essentially, to have much of a congregation there.
So, I think Easter Sunday and you'll have packed churches
all over our country, I think it would be a beautiful time.
- Now, you don't have to be a genius
to see why the president's plan
is alarming a lot of people right now.
It's not just because it seems way to early
but it's also because he's saying he wants everyone
to congregate together in churches around the country.
Which is the worse idea possible.
In a pandemic!
This is basically every super villains wet dream, right?
A big event with huge crowds,
where everyone gets infected by a deadly toxin.
Trump is like The Joker, just with more make-up.
The big story right now is that President Trump,
who usually treats his daily briefings
like the last scene in "Scarface",
came out yesterday and acted for the first time ever
like he had also been reading the news.
- [Reporter] President Trump just moments ago
with a somber tone.
- President Trump is taking this darker tone.
- [Reporter] He was as grim
as he's been through this entire crisis.
- I want every American to be prepared
for the hard days that lie ahead.
We're gonna go through a very tough two weeks.
We're gonna start seeing some real light
at the end of the tunnel.
But this is gonna be a very painful,
very, very painful two weeks.
- While the President may finally be grasping
the gravity of this outbreak,
he and his allies continue to make excuses
for why it took him so long to respond.
- Mitch McConnell there, he said that impeachment diverted
the attention of the government.
Do you think that in any way,
this was happening and building at the same time?
Did it divert your attention or your team's attention
or the Vice President's attention?
- Well, I don't like to think I did.
I think I handled it very well but I guess it probably did.
I mean, I got impeached.
I think, you know, I certainly devoted a little time
to thinking about it, right?
So, you know, when you say that, yeah!
- "I acted properly with Corona.
"But I was also distracted by impeachment.
"But my response has been perfect.
"But impeachment is why I messed up."
But on the upside, it seems like he's at least starting
to act like he's taking the threats of this pandemic
a little more seriously.
And I hope he is taking it seriously.
Because let's be real, this is still Donald Trump, people.
I wouldn't be shocked if he acted like this
and then tomorrow he comes out like,
"April Fools!
"I'll see you losers on Easter.
"Did you see me acting sad?"
- [Reporter] President Trump says he thinks doctors
should use the drug Hydroxychloroquine to treat patients
who've tested positive.
- That's Hydroxychloroquine and Erythromycin.
And again, you have to go through your medical people.
Get the approval.
I've seen things that I sort of like.
So, what do I know?
I'm not a doctor.
- Okay, here's what I don't get.
Trump is acknowledging he's not a doctor
while legitimate doctors, who could answer these questions
are standing right there next to him.
Why are we getting his opinion at all?
He should end all of his Coronavirus press conferences
like a pharmaceutical ad.
He's just come out like, "Donald Trump is not a doctor
"and his advise should not be taken seriously.
"If you have an erection lasting longer than four hours,
"please let Donald Trump know, cause that's pretty cool."
- With nearly 17 million Americans
filing new unemployment claims in the last three weeks,
the President is eager to open the country again
for business by May 1st.
- I call it the, Opening our Country Task Force
or Opening our Country Councils.
I'm gonna have to make a decision
and I only hope to God that it's the right decision.
But I would say without question,
it's the biggest decision I've ever had to make.
- On Coronavirus specifically,
Trump's instincts have been wrong from the start.
Luckily, the truth is that America doesn't really need
to rely on the President's instincts here.
Governors are the ones who locked down their states.
And governors are the ones who will decide
when to open the states back up.
Now, when Trump heard that the states were gonna be deciding
on whether or not to re-open their economies,
regardless of his decision, he was quick to remind people
that his business cards might say President
but y'all better treat him like The King.
- [Reporter] At the White House,
President Trump made a stunning claim that only he
has the power to re-open the country,
not individual state governors.
- The President of the United States has the authority
to do what the President has the authority to do
which is very powerful.
The President of the United States calls the shots.
They can't do anything without the approval
of the President of the United States.
When you say my authority, the President's authority.
Not mine because it's not me.
This is when somebody's the President of the United States,
the authority is total and that's the way it's gotta be.
- [Reporter] The authority is total?
- It's total.
It's total.
- What provision in the constitution gives the President
the power to open or close state economies
and then--
- Numerous provisions would give you
a legal brief, if you want.
- You know it's crazy how throughout this crisis,
Trump has been pushing responsibility onto the governors
at every opportunity, that's what he's been doing.
Find your own ventilators.
Negotiate for your own PPE.
You tell citizens to stay at home.
That's not my job.
But now, now that it's getting close to that time
when America might be re-opening the economy,
all of a sudden he's like,
"Me, me, I get to push the button.
"That's me.
"I get to do it."
But the truth is Donald, if you're not there for the battle,
you don't get to lead the victory parade.
The scientist in charge of the government's efforts
to make a Coronovirus vaccine,
suddenly got fired with no explanation.
Now, he says, it's because he disagreed with President Trump
about pushing Hydroxychloroquine as a miracle drug.
And to make things even worse,
when President Trump was asked,
why the guy in charge of finding a vaccine was fired?
This is how he responded.
- I've never heard of him.
You just mentioned a name.
I've never heard of him.
When did this happen?
- This happened today.
- Well, I've never heard of him.
If the guy says he was pushed out of a job,
maybe he was, maybe he wasn't.
I did have to hear the others said,
I don't know who he is.
- I don't understand how Trump has never heard
of the person in charge of finding the vaccine
to the disease that has shut down the entire world!
And don't tell me it's because he's too busy.
I mean, this is the same man, who says,
he's been watching every nightly news show
plus CNN, MSNBC in the morning,
Fox news on weekend afternoons and even re-runs of baseball.
Re-runs!
And let me tell you something,
if you have time to watch re-runs of baseball,
you have time for anything!
- President Trump created shock waves of stupidity
with his latest and probably greatest unlicensed
medical opinion, yet.
- [Reporter] President Trump, offering new
but unproven suggestions of how to kill COVID-19 in patients
using UV rays and injecting disinfectants
such bleach and alcohol.
- Supposing we hit the body with a tremendous,
whether it's ultraviolet or just very powerful light
and I think you said,
that hasn't been checked but you're gonna test it.
And then, I said,
supposing you brought the light inside the body,
in which you can do either through the skin
or in some other way.
And I think you said, you're gonna test that too.
Sounds interesting.
And then, I see the disinfectant,
who knocks it out in a minute, one minute.
And is there a way we can do something like that?
By injection inside or almost a cleaning
so that you're gonna have to use medical doctors?
But it sounds interesting to me.
- This is maybe the first time in documented history
that we've seen someone not thinking out loud.
Now, if you're some random guy
on the Internet with 12 followers,
you can say shit like this and it really doesn't matter.
You can say whatever you want to about Coronavirus.
But Donald Trump, is not just some random guy.
Donald Trump was the star of Celebrity Apprentice.
People listened to what he says.
So, his suggestion about injecting people
with the disinfectant, has had a massive fallout.
As always, when Trump says something insane
about the Coronavirus,
it puts his team of doctors in a tight spot.
Because they have to try and correct him
without embarrassing him.
And no one tries harder than Doctor Birx.
- You didn't believe the President
was putting anybody in danger, did you?
- No, he gets new information.
He likes to talk that through out loud
and really have that dialogue.
And so, that's what dialogue he was having.
I think he just saw the information at the time,
immediately before the press conference
and he was still digesting that information.
- Bravo, Doctor Birx, bravo!
It is a great defense to not use the word, dumb.
But just describe what being dumb is, to describe Trump.
We're learning more about President Trump's
unconventional strategy of completely ignoring
the pandemic as it was brewing.
- [Reporter] Breaking overnight,
The Washington Post reports U.S. intelligence officials
warned President Trump about the Coronavirus threat
in at least 12 classified briefings
back in January and February but the Post reports,
the President quote "failed to register the threat."
- Yes, it's been reported that Trump
ignored 12 Coronavirus warnings
in his daily intelligence briefings.
And honestly, I'm not surprised.
I mean, if they gave him the information in briefing,
of course he's not gonna get it.
Cause if you really want the President to pay attention,
you've gotta make that information kid-friendly.
Then, it sinks in.
"So, what you're saying is,
"the sick duck got all the other duckies sick
"and now that duck has to sit by itself.
"I get it.
"Sad duck."
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