(gentle music)
- Snacks!
- Snack time.
- This looks good, dude.
- Treats.
- All right.
- Doing it the right way, guys.
Eatin' it raw.
Very European.
- Yeah.
- Very primal.
- Yeah.
- I can't believe how much better it is cold.
- Yeah.
- Never would have thought a s'more would be better cold.
- Who needs a campfire?
Caveman style, you know?
- This came straight off the tree, it looks like.
- Totally natural.
- That's the only way to do it if you want
to connect with nature.
- Look how fresh this is.
I'm sick of selling out to big oven, you know what I mean?
We don't need to cook our foods.
That's a sucker bet.
- Yeah, freezing cold food, I think,
is really good for your metabolism.
- Yeah. - Exactly.
- Gets it going.
- I'm sick of being unhealthy by cooking my food.
- Waste of time, too.
- Yeah. - Exactly.
How many hours have you wasted frying an egg?
- Pshh.
- Millions.
Hey man, we've been all meaning to say
that we're happy you finally got a chance
to get out the house.
- Yeah, yeah, I don't know how it feels
to be in the house for like a whole year,
but if you ever need to talk to anyone...
- Thanks guys, yeah, thanks, it was really tough.
I went to the doctor.
He said it was something called situational agoraphobia,
but I think it was pretty obvious that when
Lisa left I couldn't leave my house, you know?
- That must have been really hard for you.
- Yeah, it was really tough, I mean,
I cheated on her a lot, but when I told her
she just left.
- I just wanna rewind that real quick,
so you cheated on her and she left you?
- Yeah, but it was only after I told her.
I thought being honest is the way to go.
- She said you cheated on me
so I'm gonna go ahead and go,
that seems like a pretty normal response, actually.
- I mean, Lisa?
- Yeah, yeah.
- She's so nice.
- Yeah, she was nice, that's why
I wanted her to stay, but...
What are you gonna do?
- Not cheat.
- Yeah, I wish.
- But the most important thing is that you,
you know, had the courage to go outside now, so.
- Yeah, thanks, I mean, as long as there's no
women around, I'm fine.
- Are they like a trigger for you?
- Yeah, they're the reason I couldn't go outside
for a year.
- Wha... I don't follow, break that down.
- If, well, if I go outside then something happens
and I think women, like, smell my pheromones
or something and then they just need to have sex
with me and it just sucks.
- Huh.
- Is this a joke?
- Absolutely not.
If a woman gets within 40 feet of me I'm in serious trouble.
- Hm, all right, so these poor women,
they can't help themselves?
- Well, poor women, poor me, I can't go outside.
- Oh yeah, I mean you're going outside just
risking your life, and I mean, we dont'--
these women, they could be armed.
- Yeah, I mean they've gotten pretty wild,
forceful sometimes, one of 'em almost ran me over.
- And then Lisa, what's her issue, you know,
why can't she be understanding that you're
just gonna have to go out there and play with
a lot of different ponies, you know,
you're not gonna ride one horse around the racetrack.
You're gonna ride all night.
- Yeah, I explained it to her, but she didn't
get it like you guys get it.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, I feel like I have, like, the opposite
kind of effect as you.
- Yeah, well, you know, grass is always greener, dude.
- Okay.
- So glad that you are opening up to us
about all this sex that you're having
and how it's just torturing you,
'cause honestly I would lose sleep
if I was getting that much action.
- You know, it's kind of starting to sound like
you guys think it's my fault.
- Yeah, we absolutely, positively think it's your fault.
- 100% your fault.
- Yeah.
- Guys, I didn't ask to be this way, okay,
you know, and like, I'm sure you didn't ask
to be that tall.
You didn't ask to be this... way.
Everybody's got something they gotta deal with.
The frog didn't ask to be poisonous, you know what I mean?
Like, I wasn't born this way 'cause I picked
being born this way, that's just how it is.
- You're calling yourself, "the Frog," now?
- Guys, give him a break, like, Max,
I know that you think that all women
are out there to steal your seed,
but this is some deep, like dark, narcissistic delusion.
Everything's gonna be fine.
- Hi there.
- (all) Ah!
- We just purified some extra water,
so we wanted to see if you needed any.
- I told you.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, we good.
- Yeah, we're totally good.
- He's just dealing with a little something.
- Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.
What happened?
- Drug problem.
- Car accident.
- Parents left him.
- Yeah, well what happened is, his parents took off,
so he took a bunch of drugs and got in his car
and just bashed around town.
- Then they gave him more drugs,
then he crashed his car again.
- That's right and then he went and tricked
a car dealership into giving him another car
and he bashed that one too.
- Hey guys.
- (all) Ah!
- Are those raw hot dogs?
- Yeah, impressed?
- No, I'm not, that's disgusting.
- Okay, let me guess, you work for
the oven industry and you're gonna
push your big heat message on us.
- No, I don't.
- Why don't you guys just build a fire and cook it?
- We don't feel like it!
- Anyway, thanks for the water.
- Yeah.
- No problem.
- Ah! - Ahhhhh!
- Yo!
- Is your friend all right?
- Yeah, what's up with that?
- Yeah, too many hot dogs.
Lot of dirt in his system.
- Huh.
- I guess he was right.
- Yeah, he was right.
- Do either of you guys have Lisa's Hotmail account,
I'm just gonna check in on her, make sure she's okay.
- Out of your league, bro.
- I get it.