Are you someone who detests going to social gatherings?
Do you shy away from making eye contact with people?
Are nodding your head and laughing out loud your only contributions to the conversation?
Then, in all probability, you are socially awkward.
Hi viewers and welcome back to our channel.
While it doesn’t come with too many problems, lacking social skills can make your spare
time difficult when you’re hanging out with people.
Most believe that social anxiety lies in the mind.
And while part of that is true, there are many other factors that could cause you to
be socially lacking like low self-esteem , bullying, failures, financial weakness or even a broken
family background.
However there are certain steps and hacks that you can use to gain more confidence and
get over being socially awkward once and for all.
In today’s video we will tell you about all of them.
From playing a host to being present in the moment, keep watching to find out more!
Be Present in the moment: In these busy times, you may have become used to mental and physical
multitasking without even realizing how off putting it can be to someone you’re trying
to have a conversation with.
People will notice when you are distracted by other thoughts or emotions.
Maybe your eyes glaze over, your reactions are a little delayed or maybe you are using
your phone while listening to them.
Such behaviour can make people feel bad and less important.
Try to focus on the here and now and being in the moment.
You can gradually cultivate this habit through practices like focusing on your breath and
the individual sensations you are feeling in any given moment.
Try to Chip in: To beat social awkwardness, it’s best just to go with the flow.
Join conversations, be a part of group activities, and try to break the ice as much as you can.
You can also try talking to as many people as possible throughout the day.
Each conversation you have will help you with social comfort and you’ll be able to gel
better with people around you.
Soon your friends will start to notice.
Stop Scrutinizing Yourself: When you’re unsure of yourself, you tend to be over-critical
of every little thing you do.
This is true of just about every situation, but nowhere is it more obvious than when you’re
trying to be social.
Being too obsessed with your own awkwardness can actually hurt your efforts to be cool,
calm, and collected in the future.
This may sound counterintuitive, but the best way to be better at socializing and stop being
socially awkward is to stop thinking so much about how to avoid awkwardness.
Relax!
Being too tense and worried about every little detail of how you’re acting makes things
worse.
Learn to Laugh it Off: Even the most confident people make uncomfortable comments or jokes
that fall flat.
Nobody is safe from awkward silences or lulls in the conversation, and certainly nobody
is perfect!
The difference between someone who’s socially awkward and someone who seems to master every
conversation they’re in is how they deal with the bad moments.
Laughing it off and moving on is the best way to avoid awkwardness.
Dwelling on how much of an idiot you think you looked like doesn’t help anything, and
in fact it only serves to make the situation worse.
So what if your joke wasn’t funny?
Shrug it off and change the subject.
Allow Yourself to be Imperfect: If you are a someone that feels too scared of rejection
to strike up a few conversations with a cute person walking down the street, in a bar or
wherever, then here’s an interesting exercise we would recommend:
Instead of trying to do well, see how badly you can mess up.
See how socially awkward of a situation you can get into.
Give yourself the challenge to embarrass yourself as spectacularly as possible.
This will relieve you of the the pressure to perform well.
When you have allowed yourself to be awkward and embarrassed and then laugh about it, you
will actually do much better the next time you’re in a social situation.
Focus on the other Person: Instead of always worrying about how you are coming across,
think about the other person as you talk.
How are they feeling?
What are they saying?
Are they uncomfortable too?
Focus on the other person instead of yourself.
You will immediately feel less anxious if you take yourself out of your own spotlight.
Play Host: How to not be socially awkward?
Put yourself at ease by taking the lead socially.
Arrange for a party at your house and call people that you feel comfortable around.
Introduce people to each other.
Take hats and coats and invite other guests to help themselves to the food.
People will appreciate your thoughtfulness, and you'll always find yourself in the center
of things because people will be coming and going all around you.
Practice: Just like every other skill in life, you get better with practice.
So even if the thought makes you squirm, find more social situations to practice in.
Put yourself in situations that make you uncomfortable.
Don’t worry, after a little while you won’t feel as much discomfort.
It will get easier with practice.
Even if you never enjoy large groups, you can teach yourself to function in them.
Ask a Lot of Questions: Anytime you are feeling awkward, give yourself a break from the conversation
by asking questions instead of filling the silence with chatter.
Not only will you put it on the other person to talk for a while, but you will also learn
something about them.
The more that you know, the more you will be able to converse naturally.
Plus, people like to talk about themselves.
Take advantage of this fact.
Find out what environment makes you socially awkward: You can try to go to the root of
the cause.
Ask yourself, what environments trigger your social anxiety?
Large groups of people?
Small, intimate gatherings?
You need to know the triggers so that you’ll know what you need to work on.
So, the next time you’re out at a party or event, you can be self-aware of your body
and mental state.
Team up with someone more socially skilled: A good way to increase your social exposure
is to make a few, close friendships with people who are inherently much more social than you.
Accompanying them to social events can help you get introduced to new people , giving
you a social starting line of credit with these folks.
This is because by virtue of association with the social friend, you don’t have to start
from scratch with them as you already have a kind of endorsement of sorts.
Another plus is that they can deal with the small talk much more easily, giving you the
option to chime in whenever you have something substantial to say and stay quiet when you
don’t.
Eventually, you’ll feel OK talking to people on your own, without the support of your chatty
pal.
Improve Your Non Verbal Skills: Non-verbal skills are very important when it comes to
giving your confidence a boost.
In fact, experts claim that the success of any conversation depends on how you say things
rather than what you say.
While communicating with others, try to be polite and avoid taking over the conversation.
Analyze the situation and act accordingly.
You can be relaxed and playful when you are in a casual setup with friends and family,
whereas it is important to be attentive and act in a matured manner when in a formal situation.
Make Eye Contact: This is a psychological fact, developing eye contact makes you more
confident.
People are more likely to agree to your point when you make eye contact with them and they’ll
find you more confident.
So when you are talking to someone new, make eye contact.
But don’t overdo it, you don’t want to stare at them as this will reduce their interest
and they’ll find you annoying.
Creating positive eye contact shows your interest in them.
Change the way you view small talk: A lot of you may see small talk as unnecessary and
just try to avoid it altogether.
But you would be surprised to hear that small talk has a purpose.
It’s the only way for two strangers to “warm up” to each other and figure out if they
like each other.
So next time, don’t skip the small talk and give it just as much attention as a regular
conversation.
Be Early: Yes, it's quite possible to take this one too far.
There are few things in this world more awkward than ringing the bell only to find your host
alone, or worse yet still setting up.
But in general, if you tend towards awkwardness, avoid getting to events when they're already
in full swing and everyone has settled into a social circle.
If you've ever shown up to an event late, you're aware of how difficult it can be to
insert yourself into the festivities.
Take the awkwardness out of compliments: Everyone loves compliments, but even though they're
pleasant, they can also be a little awkward.
You might be thinking how do you respond? and what if it came across as creepy?.
We have a solution for you.
After you compliment someone, immediately follow up with a question or statement that
takes the focus away from your praise.
It could be something like, 'I love your outfit today' followed by, 'How's your day going?
By asking 'How's your day going?' you're neutralizing potential awkwardness.
Think about it.
Imagine complimenting someone and then smiling at them while you both just stare at each
other.
Weird right?
Don’t focus on what you aren’t: Sometimes, if you feel uncomfortable in social situations
it’s because you are comparing yourselves to those around you.
You notice how that guy has great hair, or how that girl makes everyone laugh.
Instead of trying to measure up to others, focus on what you bring to the table.
This will give you confidence without putting on the pressure.
Do you also tend to get socially awkward?
How do you deal with it?
Let us know in the comments section below!