Hi, I'm Josh.
I'm Ollie.
And today we're going to Trader Joe's for the first time ever.
Jesus famously got very angry when they turned his father's house into a house of trade.
Okay.
And so they moved all of the trade over to Joe's house.
That's how Trader Joe's started.
That's the origin story.
Ironically, founding something approaching a cult.
Because everyone we've spoken to about Trader Joe's like, "Oh my gosh, you 100% have to get insert different items here."
No one says the same thing!
I'm very excited for this.
Me too.
Also just want to shout out to Bokksu, thank you so much for sponsoring this episode.
Josh, we're entering the holy of holies.
What are you talking about?
This is what Josie and witnesses revealed.
That's not a thing!
I have no idea what to start with.
What is pub cheese?
Pub cheese is what's on the bar when they haven't cleaned it properly.
Wow, everything but the bagel crisps.
Kettle-cooked.
How is that thing?
Oh my gosh, they have cornbread crisps.
Sour cream and onion cheese puffs?
Peanut butter cocoa bars?
That's just a car cracker.
I know.
You're an idiot.
I've got adrenaline.
It feels like an extreme sport.
Peanut butter cups, pecan pralines.
Let's do it.
These are good.
I love it. Every now and again we pick something up and Ducky just goes,
"Oh, those are so good."
Would you say we've got a good selection of stuff?
Our first trip.
Why do you think Trader Joe's has such a cult following?
Thank you very much, guys.
Thank you so much, guys.
It's a pleasure trading with you.
You are an idiot.
We may have bought quite a lot of stuff.
First up, frozen item before it melts.
Trader Joe's green tea mochi.
Lovely.
It's mochi time.
Cheers.
Wow, yeah.
This is absolutely glorious.
Bang on.
That is glorious.
That's perfect amount of green tea.
Ducky, try that.
Oh, all in, all in.
Yeah.
What do you think?
Wow.
Isn't that good?
He's a happy man.
You actually...
That is a, oh wow.
He actually looks quite a lot like a duck eating that.
Another frozen item.
We're having a reverse dinner.
If I haven't managed to finish the main course in time,
When we've got guests over,
I'll be like, "Reverse dinner time!"
And I'll get ice creams out.
Whoa!
Holy moly.
Wow.
Ice cream Oreos.
I thought they were gonna just look like Oreos.
I mean, these guys are stuffed full.
12 mini-min ice cream mouthfuls.
Now that's a mouthful.
Oh, yeah.
That looks fantastic.
Only 240 calories per serving.
What per thing?
Oh, serving's like four sandwiches.
Wow, you smashed through four of these.
It's easy.
That's realistic.
I'm good.
Okay, I was skeptical about these.
I'm usually not a fan of mint chocolate.
That is incredibly good.
You know what it tastes like?
It tastes like an Oreo.
The softness of the Oreo.
Stuffed with really cold toothpaste.
In a good way.
That's why I don't like mint chocolate ice cream normally.
So weird.
I'm actually glad we don't live near Trader Joe's 'cause we'd be in trouble.
We'd be non-stop trading with us.
You were.
These came highly recommended by a lot of people.
Milk chocolate cupboard, peanut butter pretzels.
Peanut cupboard.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah.
Those are so good.
These are my favourite things so far.
It's so good.
Have you had these before, Rosemary?
It's a lot of flavour.
They're really damn good.
I know.
Everyone was raving about these as well.
This is the kind of Takis rip off, right?
Trader Joe's Takis basically.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Ooh, packs of punch.
That's like the perfect level of spicy and limey, like sour.
I often find Takis a little bit too extreme.
But that, I could smash an entire pack of them.
Those are really good.
Should we start dipping?
How about I open all of them?
I hold them.
I'll be a salad bar.
A dip bar.
Which honestly would be a food hygiene disaster.
This is the Buffalo style chicken dip
Made with real chicken,
Which they say that like that's a good thing.
I'm not entirely convinced.
A healthy amount of real chicken in there, or maybe an unhealthy amount.
Oh my gosh.
It's like a whole meal.
There's so much going on in there too.
Whoa.
Oh, I really like that.
What is that?
It's like mulched chicken in buffalo sauce.
It's the weirdest thing.
Holy moly.
I have like no reference point for that,
But I flipping love it.
Everything and the elote Greek style yogurt dip.
Give that a go.
Texturally, this one's weird.
This one, it feels a little bit like thick paint.
Damn, that's good.
The texture.
Really?
That is damn good.
You know what that tastes like?
Oh my gosh, that's really good.
It tastes like you've mixed up like five different sauces, and you've hit the jackpot.
Oh, could have gone so wrong.
Yeah, and it went so, so right.
Trader Joe's dips.
What's this one?
Spinach and kale.
I mean, there's no way this should be good.
Still good, it's good.
Are you serious?
They made spinach and kale taste good.
Oh, wow.
That is really good.
I can see why that one's bigger.
That would be good in a sandwich, you know,
with a bit of ham, cheese, a bit like a dressing, you know.
It's got green bits in it, so you know it's healthy.
Yeah, exactly.
Wow, all three of them, absolutely banging.
10 out of 10 would dip again.
Now's a good time to talk about Bokksu.
That's a fancy looking Bokksu.
It is, it's a premium Japanese snack box,
That gets delivered to your door.
They work with family businesses all over Japan,
And curate a unique box of snacks every month.
You can't get it in Trader Joe's, unfortunately.
He's great at trading, but not that good.
Sometimes he needs help from outside traders.
Ooh, look at this.
These are little Mochi aren't they?
Wow!
Fantastic!
That's really good!
What's this?
Some kind of root!
They're crisps of some kind!
Cheers!
Woah!
Wow, they're thinking outside the box over there!
Kind of umami!
Like an intense umami flavour!
I love that!
Is that unlike anything I've ever had before?
You can't get any of these in the UK or in the US.
If you want to sign up to Bokksu or get it as a perfect gift for someone.
Then click the link in the description, use the code "Jolly" and get $15 off your first box.
Let's keep going!
Okay, what's next?
Everything but the bagel.
Now we've got a bit of a story about these.
After we were sent everything but the bagel seasoning.
Me and Grace separated out all of the ingredients, weighed it on a scale.
You were fine.
Worked out the ratios and made our own mix.
Made it home and it was damn good.
That's how much we love it.
It was damn good.
So we just ate it non-stop like the entire lockdown.
I know that this is going to be good.
It's so good, it almost made me hate bagels.
Because it was like, maybe you were ruining it all along.
You know, all we had to do was get rid of the bagel.
OK.
And it's got the onion, it's got the garlic,
It's got the salt.
It's a lot more funky than I was expecting.
Oh.
Yeah, if I'm honest, a little disappointed.
Why is it tangy?
I'm not sure that works as well.
It was much better.
Is it just that I got such happy memories?
Maybe.
It doesn't live up to what I wanted it to be.
Will that stop you eating the whole bag?
No.
It's still good.
Dark chocolate peanut butter cups.
Yeah.
So this is a shot across the bow at Reese's.
With dark chocolate.
They're mini as well.
It's satisfying.
Like little tiny little cupcakes.
Oh, Joe.
Joe, Joe, Joe.
Wow.
You shouldn't have.
Wow.
That's a bit naughty.
That is incredibly good.
Oh, wow.
The dark chocolate and the peanut butter just matches perfectly.
I can see why a cult has developed around Trader Joe's.
He's not messing around.
I mean, this is the communion bread of Joe's church.
All right, next up we've got pita bite crackers with sea salt.
Very, very excited about those.
That looks like the most bland thing in the entire store.
And a speculoos crunchy cookie butter spread.
Okay, I was looking for this for ages.
So many people recommended cookie butter.
I don't really understand what cookie butter is supposed to taste like.
Is it just cookie dough in a spread form?
Only one way to bite it.
Oh baby.
Wow.
That is so damn good.
Damn it, how do we not have this?
I don't know if this is the classic one,
But there was a couple of different types of Jojo's.
I got the chocolate and peanut butter Jojo's sandwich,
Cookies in a peanut butter coating with a chocolate drizzle.
In England, we love a bit of drizzle.
Basically drizzle's non-stop for about two thirds of the year.
All right.
Why is this all good?
That is an incredible, incredible snack.
What the hell, Joe?
That perfect crunchy cookie,
Covered like in Reese's basically.
Flipping balls.
Oh my gosh, man.
Jerky time.
I've got some beef jerky and some buffalo jerky.
Whoa, that is a strong smell.
It's good, it's like I wouldn't join a church.
You know?
A church of jerky.
Try the buffalo one.
It's very like chewy.
I guess that's the point.
Yeah.
I'd say the closest thing to a miss Joe's had so far.
Josh, next up.
What, okay.
That's not a thing.
No one recommended this.
These are just fake cars.
Like the most plain biscuit ever that's your favourite snack.
It's my favourite snack.
Gosh.
If we're gonna try those.
We're gonna have them with the spicy honey.
All right, fine.
Because I can't handle how bland those are.
Loads of people recommended Trader Joe's spicy honey.
How do they make spicy honey?
Do they just feed a bunch of bees a hot curry?
No, that's definitely not how it works.
We are in LA.
They're just like pooing out spicy honey.
Mexican bees.
Yeah, we've all been there.
My spicy honey, you would not want to eat though.
Oh, dear lord.
Okay.
That's what you should put that on, just taste that.
Oh, the aftertaste is actually quite spicy.
It's quite spicy.
What are those bees eating?
Like unexpectedly very spicy.
Oh my gosh.
Okay, including chili extract.
It's really, really hot.
Wow, that's proper spicy.
That's proper, how are you not,
That's like properly on my tongue.
I know, I know.
Okay, yeah, cheers.
Ah, thank you, Joe.
That's great sparkling water.
Okay, you're an idiot.
Okay, now, at Bucky's they were making these fresh,
When you walk in the store and the smell is unforgettable.
Yeah, that's the smell. Oh my gosh.
That's it, that's it.
The smell of these things is just glorious.
Oh, just plow through so many of them.
Joe is a damn good trader.
Joe, man.
Seriously. Doesn't mess around.
They should have got him on the board of FTX,
then it would have never collapsed.
Now, this one, no one recommended.
No, but.
We're in America, and when you see pumpkin pie,
You buy pumpkin pie.
I flipping love pumpkin pie,
but you cannot get this in the UK.
I don't really know how we're gonna eat this.
Wait, oh no, what are you doing?
What are you doing?
Wait, what am I using?
No, oh no, oh dear Lord.
Oh, you have, oh, oh, Ollie.
Why, what?
Oh, dear.
I actually got quite a decent slice.
Yeah, well.
Oh, that's more heavily spiced than I was expecting.
Yeah.
It's almost overpowering.
I like the initial taste.
The initial bite was fantastic.
But then, I hate to say this, but it's a bit too much.
It's a lot.
I want to say this quietly in case Joe's here.
I know.
But that's disgusting.
No, that's, that's bold.
That's bold.
You went there.
Poor Joe.
What do you mean poor Joe?
I mean.
We've been here basically singing his praises.
That's true.
Literally worshipping him.
Alright, last thing. Trader Joe's Bamba.
Now we've got a long history with Bamba and its nuggets.
Tastiest nuggets in the world, I would say.
You're an idiot.
We're back on track.
Back on track, Joe.
Back on track with Joe.
You redeemed yourself after your pumpkin pie travesty.
Well this has been us trying Trader Joe's for the first time.
You know what? I feel like I've come home to a place I've never been before.
Lost home.
Joe absolutely traded his pants off today.
He did.
And he looks great naked.
Okay.
Why?
He does.
Why did I need that image?