All right, first of all, this is not a trial,
so let's not make a big courtroom drama out of it.
(THE PEOPLE'S COURT THEME PLAYING)
(MUSIC STOPS)
Your Honor, Jonathan Cumberland for the defense.
Unbelievable.
Mr. Matthews, leave.
Mr. Feeny, we're partners, man, you know.
Feeny and Cumberland, Cumberland and Feeny.
Feeny and Feeny and Feeny and Eric.
But mostly Feeny because I love my brother and I want to help.
Thanks, Eric.
Look, Mr. Feeny, I know you got a thing going with the dean,
all right, so if it looks like we're gonna lose,
just (SNIFFS) play the love card, okay?
Will you shut up?
Unbelievable.
All right, Stuart,
what happened?
I was in the student union
when Cory asked me to step outside.
I thought it was to talk about a bad grade I gave him
on a paper which I called "pedestrian."
He then accused me of making a move on Topanga Lawrence
and then he hit me.
What were you doing in Topanga Lawrence's room?
I was going over her paper.
In her room? That sounds odd to me.
My students and I have a relationship outside of the classroom,
which allows us to connect better inside the classroom.
Well, ask any of them.
Shawn?
Do you have any problems with my teaching methods?
No.
In fact, didn't you just tell me
that I was the best teacher that you ever had?
Yeah, yeah, I did.
Why do you think that?
I don't think it really matters what I think.
I'd really be interested to hear your answer.
(CLEARS THROAT)
You treat us like equals.
Like adults.
I guess a lot of teachers,
you know, you feel like they treat you like a kid.
Like Mr. Feeny, for example.
Mr. Feeny's a really good teacher.
Yeah, but he... He treats you like a kid.
Okay, you made your point, Stuart.
We've had Mr. Feeny in grade school
and in high school, too,
so maybe he feels like he has to protect us.
I don't know.
I'm sorry, Mr. Feeny.
Don't worry about it, Shawn.
How did you know what dormitory Topanga was in?
She told me.
She told me she lived in the McKay dorms.
She offered it to me unprompted.
Isn't that right, Topanga?
Yes, that's true, but that wasn't...
Thank you.
Did you really think it was proper...
I mean, I'm talking about simple, human propriety...
To be in a young female student's bedroom?
A dorm room.
Also serves as a living room.
Or a TV room or a study.
It was not a bedroom when I was in there.
Stuart, do you believe as a college professor
that it's okay to be alone in a dorm room
with a young female student?
The door was open.
I even asked her roommate to stay.
In fact, it was Topanga who shooed Angela away, isn't that right, Topanga?
She was on her way to the student union. I didn't feel...
Thank you.
Any more questions, George?
Just one.
Is it okay if I rip off your head
and roll it down the hallway?
George, you and I both know
that a teacher is only as effective as the respect he is given,
and Cory's show of disrespect
undermines me and this university.
And your show of disrespect undermines me.
Miss Lawrence.
You know what you did.
I didn't do anything.
He made a move on Topanga.
On my fiancee.
He used his power and authority
to take advantage of her,
and he told me that there was nothing I could do
and that he was never gonna stop.
So I did something.
I mean, I realize, Dean,
that this wasn't the smartest thing in the world to do,
but it was all I could come up with at the time.
Striking a member of this faculty is inexcusable,
no matter what the provocation.
Can I say something real quick?
Yes.
Cory,
it's okay with me that you hit him.
Thanks, Shawn.
It's okay with Shawn.
Well, it's not okay with me.
According to the bylaws of this university,
I am bound to expel or suspend any student
for striking an educator for any reason whatsoever.
Dean, I beg you to reconsider this.
George, sit down.
You can't protect them anymore.