( music playing )
Welcome back.
Being a public figure on the internet
isn't all roses and sugar bear hair vitamin partnerships.
It also requires putting yourself out there
for the public to criticize everything you do.
Hmm, but there's no time like the present
to confront your fears, people.
When life gives you haters, make hater-ade.
It's time for "Hater Comment Therapy."
Welcome to "Hater Comment Therapy."
We are joined by King Bach,
How are you, King Bach?
I'm not doing too well.
It's the haters, isn't it?
There's so many out there.
Well, this is a safe space for you,
and we're going to work through
some of your hater comments today, okay?
Ahh, okay.
Yeah, just breathe.
Now I want you to know that these are real...
- Okay. - ...hater comments.
- But we can get through this. - You promise?
- Yes, are you ready? - Is this pro bono,
- or am I gonna have to pay? - You're gonna have to pay.
You can see the secretary on the way out.
- All right. - All right.
On August 15th, 2017,
you posted this gym boomerang.
Bach: Oh, it was my first day back,
my first day in the gym.
Rhett: Mm-hmm. Well,
user michaeljrwatson commented,
"Man, cut yo hair,
big buttery biscuit-looking (bleep)."
Do you feel like your head
looks like a big buttery biscuit?
In fact, it is a big buttery biscuit.
I just came from Popeye's,
and they say you are what you eat,
and I just had a big buttery biscuit.
So how does this make your soul feel?
It makes me feel like
maybe I should change my diet.
What's the best option for a head?
Maybe a human head, I don't know.
Maybe I should join Hannibal's tribe.
I don't think I can endorse this logic,
- uh, or this practice. - Bach: Okay.
But I do have something to say to michaeljrwatson.
Michaeljrwatson, if you think his head full of hair
looks like a big buttery biscuit,
the real problem is something is wrong
with the biscuits you are eating.
( laughs )
Stop eating them now before you get sick.
( laughing )
Link: We have another one for you.
On May 18th, 2017,
you posted this Instagram photo,
with the caption "purple devil emoji."
- Bach: Ooh. - And user alexxbarraban
commented, "Yo head look like a lightbulb for real."
( laughs ) For real?
- For real. - I take that as a compliment.
Have you been eating light bulbs?
No, but he saying
I'm shining bright like a diamond.
- That's a good perspective. - Bach: Mm-hmm.
Let me give alexxbarraban some perspective.
Alexxbarraban, do you know how many haters it takes
to change a light bulb?
None, because they've never done anything
- helpful in their lives. - ( Bach laughs )
You're not doing anything
helpful in your life.
( laughs loudly )
On April 28th, 2017,
you posted this Instagram photo with the caption,
"forced smile," and then a few crying laughing emojis.
User _shizii commented,
"Ur flex was also forced".
That's the only way to flex.
Oh, so your flex was, in fact, forced?
I wish. I been working on doing a natural flex,
but it's impossible.
- Can we see that? - Let me try.
Nah, you gotta force it, or it doesn't move.
Flexing by definition is force,
- is that what you're saying? - Yeah.
Okay, let me handle this.
_shizii, if you don't stop making fun
of Bach's forced flexing,
I'll be forced to track you down
and force you to apologize.
Yeah, that's a good use of the force.
- Yeah. - Oh, wow.
- You don't want that. - Bach: No.
On September 20th, 2017, Bach,
you posted this Instagram photo
with the caption "Fun Fact:
I was born in Toronto, Canada."
- Well, that is fun. - That is fun.
Then you said, "Where were you born?"
and talia yay commented, "At your mom's house."
Did you know that talia yay was your sibling?
- I did. - You did?
She was a bad kid, so we just--
we say, "You gotta be gone."
( laughs )
Hey, sister. I hope all is well.
I'm famous now.
( laughter )
That's good. I don't need to add anything to that.
No, you don't. You handled that one on your own.
- ( laughs ) - I'm glad you guys made amends
after all that you've been through.
On March 29th, 2017, you posted this photo
with no caption,
and user x_jodo_x commented,
"boy yo ass look like a mf sticky note.
you ain't never gotta worry about getting a hall pass".
What? What does that mean?
You don't understand it, either?
I can't even, like, translate that.
I didn't know if it was something from Vine.
I don't think that's a Vine joke.
That took longer than six seconds just to read it.
- Okay. - ( laughs )
Well, I can clear this up.
x_jodo_x, I wanna write your name on a sticky note,
put you on my yogurt at work and then forget about you.
( laughs loudly )
Bringing it.
Only for you, Bach.
Yes, I like it. I appreciate it.
Do we go this hard.
I'm not even crying anymore. It's tears of joy.
You know what? On this same post,
luwissammy commented,
"why does your face always look like a chicken nugget?"
So, we just need a final answer.
Is your face a chicken nugget,
a big buttery biscuit, or a light bulb?
It can't be all three, can it?
- It is all three. - Wow.
Because, like, Popeye's, they had a special deal.
They had a biscuit and nugget meal
with a light bulb as the toy?
Well, they had it under the heating lamp.
- Oh, okay. - Nice.
- So... - Got it. Don't eat that.
- Got it. - ( Bach laughs )
Luwissammy, here's a nugget of information for you:
- log off. - ( laughs )
Thank you, Bach, for spending this time with us.
Hopefully you feel better now.
Be sure to check out King Bach in the film
"Where's the Money?" on iTunes.
You know what time it is.
Hi, I'm Craig Robinson
and my show "Ghosted" airs
this Sunday on Fox at 8:30 pm,
and now, it's time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality.
Click the bottom link in order
to watch this episode from the beginning,
and click the top link to watch us
play telephone with the crew
in "Good Mythical More,"
and to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality lands.