[Applause] our first guest stars on our very own television program entitled The
Sarah Silverman show program and new episodes can
now be seen Thursdays at 10:30 on Comedy Central here's the funny the lovely Sarah
Silverman I'm so sorry wow it's a really short skirt and we didn't realize it and then this
was in the gift bag I apologize I don't mean any disrespect thank you for laughing I I didn't know
what and guess what it's yours now ew keep it how you doing I'm well how are you you know I'm good
nice to see you welcome back to the show you know what I I want to talk about this because uh I know
uh Jimmy Kimmel and I know you know him and I know he knows you and and there was a time when the two
of you were like uh dating I don't know how to say that but you know dating uh and then then we heard
that maybe you were done dating uh so and and and now I heard maybe you're dating again so so I just
wanted I just wanted to know for my own for my own interest how our our because I would I would
like it if you were uh together again well I could answer you Dave or you could just ask him yourself
I'm sorry what was the next question no I'm but uh it said in the paper
that things looked positive along those lines is is that safe to say I'm going
to plead the fifth is that the one to bear arms no um I how about this if
Barack Obama wins the presidency I'll come back and tell you the whole poop
okay but you understand that uh myself like other Americans wish for this to be the case
that you're happy together so uh first of all what I would like to know is uh whose idea was
it not to be happy together and and are and are we close now to being happy together and then
then we'll move on May I change the subject for a second yeah sure go ahead um I'm very
concerned that you're having John McCain on on Thursday because he hurt you and I just don't
want to see him hurt you again thank you thank you that's that's very dear if you must have him
on M and I'm going to make a suggestion like you need an advice from me but and it's very subtle
have him be the second guest right him he can he can follow the Super Nanny mhm and wait his turn
we we can't get the super nanny um all right we'll come back to the uh to the romance part of the
interview uh now no not now yeah at the end now tell me about are you following the election are
you excited 3 weeks away or something like that in such a a divided country it's really bizarre it's
quite a a amazing time not necessarily in a good way we're so divided and then how do you decide
you know what I mean even with something like uh the Pledge of Allegiance you know half the people
say you shouldn't say under God because we live in a country that divides church and state even
though we don't and then the other half is like no you should leave under God because it's a sacred
pledge or whatever and how do you decide who's right you can't because then it becomes a slippery
slope and who's deciding and blah blah blah I feel may I touch your knee I wish you would I feel that
I've come up with a solution where everybody can be happy don't take out under God leave it in
add air quotes it's like I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America
that was crazy you're a the Republic which just stands one nation under God and excellent I'll
pass that along to the senator when he after we talked to the Super Nanny uh it seems like
I've known you for quite a long time because you started uh writing and were on television when
you were quite young you're just a kid right e did you hear that yeah sorry um son I I was a a writer
for Saturday Night Live when I was very young it was really my first job and uh do you mind
if I ask how old you were then I was maybe 20ish and um no I was 20 and uh I I I was only there
for a year and I feel that looking back on it I realize why because one time um well we would sit
around the table writing and there were like in the center of the table would be very sharpened
pencils and like legal pads and uh I was leaning I was leaning back on my chair and I had a pencil
and I was like I was really just daydreaming and I always sat next to Al Franken because he was kind
of like my home base to me and uh gubinatorial hopeful now did I say that right and um I don't
think he's running for governor oh Senator Senator Senator yeah oh I just wanted to say
Goo uh anyway I was sitting next to Al Franken and just daydreaming and
it was the winter and he had one of those je fro because they grow them
big in the winter for warmth and I was thinking to myself that was
good and in my mind I thought oh I'm going to uh put the pencil through
his hair you know and I feel I may be misjudged where his head ended and his
hair started so what what I meant to do in what everyone saw and what I did two
different things very different things uh what happened was I just stabbed him in the
head and he screamed he screamed and screamed and uh because he had been stabbed in the head
um and I wanted to explain and besides it being kind of weird
to explain I also couldn't explain because I couldn't breathe because I was laughing
so hysterically of course tears pouring down my face and the rest is a blur and
then they asked me to maybe not return not return ah and and I guess Al was all right
a lovely story okay tell us a a a story from your childhood we know so little of
your youth oh well where'd you grow up I grew up in New Hampshire in a small town
I do not represent the look of New Hampshire really well um Four Sisters four of us and
uh I guess we could be compet you know my grandmother passed away not too long ago
and uh my sister Laura who's also on my television show The Sarah Silverman program I said so I meant
show yeah it's a lot of Weirs don't worry about it we were on either side of her she's on her
deathbed and she opened her eyes and she looked up at us and she just went so beautiful oh and
uh Laura jokingly was like she's talking to me and I'm like no she's talking talk
to me and honestly with like the last bit of energy she could muster she just went
Laura ouch ouch I thought she was kidding yeah she probably was kidding leave with a joke bet
she was kidding she was uh now listen Sarah it's nice to see you on the show again I want to tell
people that the Sarah Silverman program uh resumes Thursdays this is the third season
yeah it's like 2B because of the strike blah blah blah it's the third season just say yes
Sarah Thursdays 10:30 Comedy Central thank you very much so nice to see you good luck to you
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