Welcome back to my Dark Corner of this Sick World.
‘Frankly I don’t think it’s something I want to get involved with.’
Selected by one of our Patreon supporters, Firecracker opens at a martial arts bout in the Philippines
observed by reporter Bonnie Carter.
You were warned. No photography.
Her sister Suzie arrives to look for her and is ambushed in her hotel room,
but fights back using her mastery of a secret martial art. Victoria’s secret martial art.
Victoria's Secret martial art.
It’s not really secret, I just couldn’t come up with a good pun.
G-string Kun-do? There’s gotta be one.
Your lingerie martial arts suggestions in the comments below.
Anyway this fight goes nowhere and Suzie visits where Bonnie was staying.
Well this one came out of nowhere.
‘Hey, you’re okay’
How did this start?
‘How did this happen anyway?’
‘They’re looking for trouble, let’s give it to them’
That’s it. This film is made on a simple principal; keep the fights coming
and no one will question things like;
why is bad guy Erik instantly suspicious of someone entering his club.
‘Woman who walks into my place like she’s looking for something is not just another dame’
Don’t think about, just watch the fight.
‘So this kid’s stuff is supposed to convince me this is strictly for men.’
Suzie’s plan is to go undercover as a fighter at the club, which is a front for drug-dealing,
and she successfully makes contact with handsome henchman Chuck.
‘I’m here to check out your credentials’
I’m pretty sure we’ll see them later.
This is classic Philippine-sploitation.
Look, there’s Vic Diaz.
‘Screw her’
‘I intend to’
It’s also an example of that limited genre;
only female teachers with a martial arts background can win the war on drugs.
‘I have a feeling we haven’t heard the last of that girl’
Suzie takes on all-comers, shrugging off attempted kidnappings
and escaping the Filipino cobra.
My suspension of disbelief took a little hit there.
‘She’s good. Too good’
Only Chuck can get close to her in a fight and he’s not playing fair.
Point is; she can take care of herself. Until…
'Hey baby. What are you doing tonight.'
She’s taken on rooms full of gangsters and trained fighters but two drunks has her running.
‘Help, these guys are after me’
This doesn’t even seem like the same character, she just stands there while the security guard gets killed.
and there’s a reason.
Producer Roger Corman decided the film didn’t take full advantage of star Jillian Kesner’s assets,
so another director added a few scenes.
Well this seems unnecessary,
whereas this seems inevitable.
We need a believable way to get her kit off mid-fight...
and I think we found it.
This scene has nothing to do with the plot, I’ve put it in the review to irritate the editor.
Speaking of the plot, turns out there’s an undercover cop in Erik’s organisation.
‘Undercover. Narcotics division. Anti-narcotics unit’
Is there a pro-narcotics unit?
But now there’s bad news.
Bonnie is found dead and the distraught Suzie...
immediately goes to a man who works for her sister’s killers.
I’d like to say she was going for revenge but…
a scene between two people who have no idea how zippers work.
This ‘sexy’ scene was added by the same team that came up with the topless fight,
as you can tell.
Her vengeance is going to have to be put on hold while she goes bra shopping.
Any chance she’s just lulling him into a false sense of security?
‘I can feel the blood pulse inside your head’
I’m good at writing bras being sliced open but I don’t do dialogue.
‘You idiot’
But now, shocking news...
‘About Bonnie; Chuck killed her’
‘Are you sure about that?’
I can’t believe the drug-dealing murderer I slept with is a bad guy.
Even though I was told right at the start.
‘Chuck Donner. Works down the arena for Erik Stollard. Drugs, prostitution, gambling.’
I haven’t said a lot about the drug-dealing plot but fortunately Erik sums it up.
‘I lied to you, purposely ripped off my own shipment,
'deceived you into thinking that I needed to work out some direct credit arrangement with you,
'but it was the only way I know how to remove Grip and deal directly with you.’
And that’s why we’d rather you concentrate on the fight scenes,
Speaking of.
‘I want him’
Suzie takes her revenge in the ring.
‘Hey look, I’m sorry. What can I say?’
I’ll buy you another sister.
But Chuck soon steps it up.
This is how a climactic fight should go, it should be tough,
the lead should get as good as she gives but still win out in the end.
Which she does, but only after...
He could kill her and chooses not to, totally undermining the whole thing.
‘We are in bad shape’
Before Roger Corman’s meddling I suspect this was a pretty tedious film
and he successfully made it sleazy as well, something that Jillian Kesner did object to, but...
‘I’m just tyring to pay the rent’
Speaking of Kesner, she was also a film historian and she and her husband who she met on this film,
were trying to complete Orson Welles unfinished The Other Side of the Wind when she died.
Which I think is worth knowing.
‘You still find me amusing?’
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