- [Instructor] Welcome to this lesson on gratitude.
This lesson will explore gratitude of the open heart
through the wisdom of others
and the science on the human experience.
When we live with gratitude of the open heart,
we are remembering the essence of the true self,
creating a giving spirit toward others
and allowing us to receive love from others.
It is one of the most powerful experiences
and expressions of gratitude.
As you prepare to enter this lesson,
take a moment to prepare yourself
for your study and practice.
Download the study and practice guide,
the PDF associated with this lesson.
Have a pen and paper on hand to take notes
and record your thoughts.
Remove distractions from your environment.
And once you have prepared your study environment,
take a few moments to prepare yourself mentally to benefit
from teachings in gratitude.
Be still.
Breathe.
Take three to five cleansing breaths,
drawing deeply through the nose and slowly exhale,
experiencing the opening of your heart
and clearing of your mind.
Pause and reflect on what you are bringing to your study.
What are your understandings
of opening the heart to gratitude?
What are your questions
about the gratitude that comes from the heart?
You may continue to the lesson
when you feel you're ready to begin.
Consider taking the time to engage
in a mindful communication exercise to open your heart
as you prepare yourself
to learn more about gratitude.
In this lesson, we will explore concepts of gratitude
that comes from the open heart.
A heart that is open to giving and receiving love,
kindness, and compassion.
The four-chambered heart will be explored
as a pathway to gratitude.
It is the intention of the lesson
to increase awareness of heartedness
through the portals of gratitude that include blessings,
learnings, mercies, and protections.
An overview of research will demonstrate
the impact of gratitude on the physical heart,
wellbeing, and lifespan.
And there will be encouragement
to welcome the heart of gratitude
into relationships with others and oneself.
Simple practices are offered to support you
in the pathway to gratitude with an open heart.
Let us begin with the question,
how might gratitude open the heart?
"Gratitude is not in the words
but in the heart which expresses it."
These words are from Luffina Lourduraj.
The opening of the heart provides a vehicle
for deepening the experience of gratitude, love,
and compassion.
To live with an open heart to gratitude
is to remember the essence of yourself,
to experience love and to deepen your appreciation
of the good that comes to you.
Through our connection to the heart,
we are able to heal wounds,
to feel the space of our emotions,
and to explore our gratitude.
According to Sanskrit traditions,
the heart is the fourth chakra
in the center of the seven chakras.
The Sanskrit word for the fourth chakra is anahata,
which means unstruck or unhurt.
The name implies that beneath the hurts
and grievances of past experiences
lies a pure and spiritual place
where no hurt exists.
One may choose to hold onto these hurts
or to release them through gratitude,
compassion,
love,
and understanding.
With your awareness to the feelings of your heart,
you may begin to explore your gratitude
and where you may offer and receive gratitude
into your heart.
All spiritual traditions speak to the universal truth
that love is stronger than negative emotions
like fear or hate or indifference.
In the book "Gratefulness, the Heart of Prayer"
the relationship of the heart, love, and gratitude
is described by Brother David Steindl-Rast.
The heart is where we belong.
We belong there as our proper place,
no matter how estranged we become.
And when we are there we belong
because what makes home home
is that each belongs to all
and all to each.
"We grow in love when we grow in gratefulness
and we grow in gratefulness when we love.
This makes gratefulness a school
in which one learns love."
The practice of gratitude keeps our hearts open.
It is impossible to extend gratitude with a closed heart.
Angeles Arrien in her book "Living in Gratitude"
describes the importance of attending
to the four-chambered heart,
the full, strong,
open, and clear heart.
Each chamber is an invitation to gratitude.
The full heart,
the strong heart,
the open heart,
clarity of heart.
The full heart.
Living life with a full heart
leads us to be deeply engaged, responsible,
reliable, and committed.
The full heart releases attachments
and opens us to compassion and mercy
which draws forth the power
of genuine apology and forgiveness.
The strong heart.
The strong-hearted have courage.
It takes courage to intervene
on behalf of those who are mistreated.
Courage means standing by one's heart or core.
It makes us fearless.
The recognition of the strength of your heart
is something for which to be grateful.
The open heart.
Curious people approach life with an open heart.
They are more compassionate, kind, and generous
as a result of the delight they take
in maintaining their sense of adventure no wonder.
The discoveries of the open-heart come to us
when we set aside our preconceived notions
and seek discovery.
Clarity of heart.
When hearts are clear,
there is safety in relationships and circumstances.
There's trust.
The level of commitment is known.
Clarity of heart promotes appropriate action.
How might we come to understand the four-chambered heart?
Angeles Arrien tells us,
"When the four-chambered heart is full,
strong, open, and clear, it is healthy
and gratitude comes to us naturally.
We choose to live a meaningful life
filled with integrity and purpose,
one that offers unlimited ways to be thankful
and to express our gratitude to those around us."
It is our human nature to not always act with an open heart.
There are many challenges to our circumstances
and our feelings that can lead us
to act in ways that express half-heartedness,
weak-heartedness, closed-heartedness,
or confused-heartedness.
These are not faults but perhaps,
outcomes of circumstances and perceptions
that cause us to act with partial genuineness.
The half-hearted person may operate
from shoulds instead of once.
This occurs when we have no choice in what we do,
or perhaps a person or situation has been outgrown.
For example, there are families in which parents
will pressure their adult children to attend a social event
with people from their childhood
with whom they have nothing in common as adults.
Weak-hearted acts stem from difficulty facing conflict
or needs for approval.
We refuse to admit to problems
in a relationship or situation.
The weak-hearted will deny signs of a spouse's love affair,
or look the other way when there's family violence.
Weak-heartedness normalizes the abnormal.
Weak-heartedness results in trauma
with long-term damaging effects.
It takes courage to address and rectify wrongdoing
when we see it occurring with others
or in our own responses.
Closed-heartedness in nature reveals
old resentments, grudges, or disappointment.
The closed heart is in need of work and forgiveness.
The closed heart can often stem from conflicts
in family or work relationships
that have not been addressed, forgiven, and healed.
It can lead to hatred,
and hurts, and cruelties of neglect and omission.
The closed heart is often the heart of the narcissist.
Confused-heartedness shows
where we lack clarity and are confused.
When dating,
it's hard to know if the relationship is right.
There can be ambiguity about one's feelings
or the sincerity of the other.
There's a lack of safety in the confused-relationship.
The instability can lead to neurotic interactions, mistrust,
and breakdown the potential for growth.
This table summarizes attributes of the four-chambered heart
when fully manifested
and when challenged by doubt,
denial, confusion, ambivalence, or fear.
As you can see, the full-heart is characterized
by deep engagement,
reliability, and responsiveness.
In contrast, the half heart represents a lack of choice,
obligations, and requirements.
Consider when you may have been forced to do something
you really did not want to do.
The strong heart is one of courage and defense of others
while the weak heart avoids conflict
often due to strong approval needs.
The open heart is one of curiosity, wonder, and discovery
while the closed heart is filled with resentment,
disappointment, and harbors grudges.
Clarity of heart brings contentment and safety
while the confused heart
is one of ambivalence and confusion.
Pause to consider your circumstances.
Think of a relationship at work or home.
Where was your heart?
How did the presence or absence of gratitude
contribute to those opportunities?