SO NICE TO SEE YOU, AND I'VE MISSED YOU.
>> I'VE MISSED YOU, DARLING.
>> James: I'VE MISSED OUR LITTLE CATCH-UPS.
>> HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?
>> James: ALL RIGHT.
ARE YOU?
>> James: YEAH.
I KIND OF KNOW HOW YOU HAVE BEEN BECAUSE I'VE TALKED TO YOUR
PRODUCER AND I TOLD HER NOT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT IT BUT I'VE
WATCHED THE SHOW EVERY NIGHT SINCE ELECTION NIGHT.
>> James: YOU'RE THE ONE.
I ALWAYS WONDERED WHO IT WAS.
I NEVER KNEW.
>> AND THE NUMBER OF TIMES THAT I WAS, LIKE, I'M GOING TO D.M.
JAMES AND BE LIKE WHAT'S HAPPENING ON THE SHOW NOW IS SO
GREAT BECAUSE YOU ARE TEETERING ON THE KNIFE'S EDGE OF SANITY.
( LAUGHTER ) IT'S REALLY GETTING GREAT.
>> James: THAT IS TRUE.
THEN IT WAS A POINT TO WHERE I WAS, LIKE, IS THIS GOING TO BE
MY INTERVENTION?
I COME ON THE SHOW TO GIVE YOU AN INTERVENTION?
BECAUSE WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON HERE, GUYS?
WHO IS NICK -- WHAT?
AND YOU EXPLAIN, IS HE HERE?
>> James: OF COURSE, HE'S HERE.
>> OH, MY GOD WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON?
>> James: NICK IS THE SENIOR VICE PRESIDENT OF LATE NIGHT
PROGRAMMING WEST COAST.
THERE IS NO JUNIOR OR PRESIDENT.
>> OKAY, BUT THE ISSUE WITH THAT IS YOU SAY THAT EVERY NIGHT AND
I STILL GO, BUT WHO HE IS PANNED WHY IS HE HERE?
NO OFFENSE TO YOU.
>> James: WELCOME TO THE CLUB.
BUT YOU'RE GETTING YOUR STAFF TO HARASS PATTY LA PONE, YOU'RE
OBSESSED WITH GOING ON A CRUISE.
>> James: WELL, THAT'S DAVE.
AND EVERY NIGHT STEVE TRIES TO DO A NICE INTRO FOR THE NEWS
BECAUSE I'M STRESSED, ARE YOU GOING TO LOVE IT OR LASH OUT AT
HIM!
( LAUGHTER ) IS EVERYONE OKAY?
ARE YOU BEING HELD HOSTAGE?
NICK, ARE YOU BEING HELD HOSTAGE OR ARE YOU HOLDING HIM HOSTAGE?
SOMETHING IS GOING ON HERE.
>> James: WHAT IS THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION, NICK?
>> IT REALLY DEPENDS ON THE NIGHT.
>> James: PLEASED YOU HAVE BEEN WATCHING.
>> I LOVE THIS COLOR ON YOU.
WONDERFUL.
>> James: SLIGHT BREAKDOWN.
IT DOES LOOK GOOD ON ME.
>> YEAH.
>> James: YOU HAVE A TV OBSESSION WHICH I WAS SHOCKED TO
HEAR ABOUT.
YOU AND YOUR GRANDMOTHER USED TO WATCH -- I DON'T KNOW IF YOU
STILL WATCH -- YOU WATCH VERY PARTICULAR TYPES OF SHOWS, IS
THAT RIGHT.
>> IN YEAH, I'M A GAMER.
SHOUT OUT TO MY GAMERS.
>> James: WHAT WAS THE NECKLACE?
>> MY PLAY STATION NECKLACE SO I KNOW WHERE I COME FROM.
( APPLAUSE ) AND, YEAH, YOU KNOW, WHENEVER
YOU'RE AT GRANDMA'S HOUSE, YOU'VE GOT TO MAKE SURE YOU WIN
THE TV SO YOU'VE GOT TO LET HER WATCH HER SHOWS AND WHEN SHE'S
DONE, YOU GET TO PLAY YOUR GAME.
SO ONE LIFE TO LIVE, ALL MY CHILDREN AND, OF COURSE, GENERAL
HOSPITAL AND THE GOLDEN GIRLS.
>> James: I LOVE GOLDEN GIRLS.
ONE OF MY FAVORITE SHOWS OF ALL TIME.
FIRST THEME SONG I REMEMBER AS A KID.
>> James: ARGUABLY THE BEST THEME SHOW IN THE HISTORY OF
TELEVISION.
>> I NEED BETTY WHITE TO HIT 100.
>> James: YEAH.
SHE'S AT 9.
I'M WAITING TILL JANUARY, LET'S DO THIS.
LET'S GO, BABY!
I NEED BETTY TO HIT 100.
>> James: WHICH GOLDEN GIRL WOULD YOU SAY YOU ARE?
>> SOPHIA, EASILY.
SHE'S GOT THE ONE LINERS.
THAT'S THE CHARACTER YOU WANT.
>> James: THAT'S YOU.
KILLING 'EM THE ENTIRE SHOW.
SOFIA, FOR SURE.
I'M A BIT OF A SMART ASS.
>> James: WHO ARE YOU, ANNA?
DOROTHY.
>> James: YEAH, TAKES THE LEAD.
>> YEAH, I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.
>> James: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
WHO'S THE SORT OF SLIGHTLY SLUTTY ONE?
THAT'S ME.
>> THAT'S BLANCH DEVEREAUX.
YEAH ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) >> James: I'M BLANCH ALL DAY
LONG, EVERY WEEK.
CAN I ASK A QUESTION?
>> CAN I GIVE AN ANSWER.
>> James: CAN I TRY THE RINGS ON?
>> YEAH.
GO LAKERS, GO DODGERS.
( APPLAUSE ) >> James: I JUST -- I JUST
WONDER IF I'M A DIFFERENT GUY -- >> YEAH...
( LAUGHTER ) >> James: I JUST --
YEAH!
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
>> WOW.
>> James: HANG ON.
BE HONEST.
>> YEAH.
>> James: BE HONEST.
I WANT YOU TO BE HONEST.
>> WELL, ALL RIGHT.
>> James: CAN I PULL IT OFF?
OOOH, IT'S A LONG TIME.
>> James: IF I'M JUST LIKE, WELCOME BACK, LET'S MEET OUR
GUESTS TONIGHT.
>> YES, IF YOU OPEN A USED CAR LOT IN ADDITION TO THIS SHOW,
THEN ABSOLUTELY.
>> James: I CAN'T, SO THAT'S A NO.
>> IT'S NOT A NO.
IF YOU'RE HEARING IT AS A NO, THEN YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH
IMAGINATION.
>> James: WHAT DO YOU THINK?
I MEAN, ABSOLUTELY, AS LONG AS YOU'RE A LAKER OR DODGER FAN.
>> James: IT'S VERY HEAVY.
( LAUGHTER ) YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PUT THEM
ON THIS HAND BECAUSE IT WILL SLOW MY LOVE LIFE DOWN.