Welcome to the show,
and, uh, congratulations on your show first and foremost.
-Thank you, thank you. -Yeah.
It's-it's a journey that you have been on
that I don't think anyone would have predicted,
including yourself, because you first wrote about your life,
um, and it was meant to just be, you know, a paperback,
and you were gonna get the story out there.
And all of a sudden, it blows up,
and Jim Parsons sees the story, and he goes, "I love this.
We should make it into a TV show."
And that's what you've done.
You've written a story about your life.
And you've based it on a true story,
your life as a disabled person who is also gay,
and it's one of the funniest premises ever
because you come out as gay, but then you're afraid
to come out to your friends as disabled.
-Right. -That's pretty wild.
I know. Usually it's flipped the other way, right?
-Yeah. -But I come from a very gay family,
so being gay was, like, NBD for me. Like, I just...
Also, like, what closet is this bitch gonna hide in?
You know what I mean? So, to me,
I grew up with a mild case of cerebral palsy,
and, like, no one understood what cerebral palsy was.
Like, 'cause, you know, it looks different to everybody.
You can dress it up. You can dress it down.
So I never really related to it.
And so when-- I got hit by a car when I was 20 years old.
-Yes. -I moved to New York to go to school,
and everyone assumed my limp was from the car accident.
And I thought, like, "Oh, genius. Like, life hack.
I can just be an accident victim now."
'Cause e-- 'cause anyone can get hit by a car.
I mean, I hope-- I hope we don't get hit by a car.
-But, like, anyone could. -Right.
So everyone's like, "Oh, my God, that's so sad!"
And then, with CP, they're just like, "Confusing."
You know what I mean? So I thought I did a life hack,
but it actually kind of ended up, like, hacking my life.
-Do you know what I mean? -Right, but you-you know
what I-- what I really loved about this story--
and it is a true story-- but what I-- what I really like
is that it's, like, you hack into the human condition.
We-we are more-- Like, we're more apt--
And we're more apt at dealing with things that we understand.
So you go, you go-- Oh, you got hit by a car.
That's why you have a limp. Everyone's like,
"We'll treat you normal, Ryan." And then if you go, like,
"Oh, no, I have cerebral palsy." And people are like,
"Oh, shame. Oh, we can't treat you normally."
But-but, in the story, you show how you live in this world
where the truth comes out
and then you really start being yourself.
Yeah, I was the boy in the bubble,
and then the bubble pops. (chuckles)
Um, yeah. No, it's-it's a journey though.
I mean, this character struggles with,
you know, internalized ableism.
And, you know, when you're growing up
in an ableist society, like,
you're basically taught to hate who you are if you're disabled.
-Right. -And, you know, the-the journey
to self-love is really long.
Like, maybe four seasons. (chuckling)
(applause)
(cheering and applause)
Maybe-maybe even five. I don't know.
There's just so much growing to do.
-So much growing. -So much growing.
-So much growing. -And so much limping, you know?
-So much growing to... (laughing) -Yeah.
You know what I love about you is, uh...
I-I remember watching the show and I was like--
You have such a sneaky way about you,
because you're so self-aware and you're also aware of the world
and how we perceive you as a person.
You're almost like an emotional Keyser Söze.
-That's what you are. -Yeah.
Genuinely, 'cause you use it against people
and you do that in the show as well.
Was that difficult, making jokes
where people start out being uncomfortable
and then realizing that, no, these jokes aren't about you
or the disability but rather about how the world struggles
to figure it out with the disability?
Yeah, I mean, I think, when you make jokes,
it should never be on the powerless--
it should always be at the powerful.
Um, so it was really important to me
-that my disability never be the punch line. -Right.
But I think that when you give a disabled person the agency
and license to tell their own story--
the creator, writer, and star-- I think you're gonna get
the best story possible. Like, duh.
(chuckles) You know what I mean? 'Cause I lived it.
(chuckles) So it was really, really important to me
that I create, like,
an accurate representation of being disabled.
Was that-- was that strange for you though
when-when you had to audition to play yourself?
Yeah, I didn't love that. (chuckles)
Because-because you-you didn't even plan to star in anything.
I mean, you-you've been a writer for a long time,
and you were doing really well. And then you had the show,
but you didn't plan to star in it.
Yeah. No, I'm not an actor. I mean, I-I'm a writer.
-You know what I mean? -Right.
So, like, it was never my journey to act.
But then, um, when we sold the show,
they just kind of assumed that I was gonna play it.
And I think they assumed I was an actor, which, well, I'm not.
So, half... halfway through, they were like,
"We... we should, like, have him screen test to play him."
And then, so, I did that,
and I think that they were really scared.
But, "Well, I got it." Like, Valerie Cherish, you know?
-Like, I got it. -How do you... how do you audition
to be your...? Like, how does somebody even give you notes
on yourself? You know, "I like that, Ryan, but you know,
I think what would be more you is you."
-Yeah. -"Uh, how do you...?
How do you think you would act in this moment?"
Is-is that strange for you, being in a show about your life,
playing a version of yourself?
Do you...? Like, where-where's reality, and where's the joke?
How do you... how do you work with that?
(sighs) Yeah, it's a little Twisted Sister.
I mean, because I'm not an actor, like, I'm not...
like, I'm not able to detach,
so it's not like... You know what I mean?
-Yes. -Like, I feel like every time we would do a scene,
you'd do this emotional scene, and if you're, like,
a trained actor, you can go out of the moment and be like,
"Anyways, here's, like, this funny meme
of a cat wearing a hat." And like, "Ha, ha, ha."
And then you go back into the moment, and you, like, focus.
-Yes. -I was still, like, slimed.
I was, like, hanging over here with, like, residue all over me.
Like, I was still very much in the moment,
and I couldn't... I couldn't separate, so I don't know.
I mean, it was just a weird emotional month of filming.
I will... I will say some of the moments are brought to life
because you don't seem to separate it.
It doesn't seem like you-you detach at any point.
One of the moments that really sticks with everyone is,
-for instance, there is a gay sex scene in the show. -Yeah.
And it is a gay sex scene
that many people have never seen before on TV.
And I like that you chose to do that very specifically. Why?
Yeah. No one's seen it, but
(sing-songy): many people have lived it!
(laughter)
So I'm just... When that happens, I'm just confused.
I'm like, "I know plenty of people
-who have been having anal sex for a long time." -Yes.
Like, why has it not been, like, been shown in an accurate way?
And it really got my goat when I saw Call Me by Your Name,
which I really loved, but when they panned away to the moon,
-I was very unsoothed. -Right, in the middle of... It's like
the sex scene is about to start, and then, all of a sudden,
the camera just goes like,
"You-you know what happens here."
-We-we see him having sex with a peach. -Yes.
-A girl, but no actual gay sex. -Yes.
Like, honey, like, I don't understand. Like...
♪ One of these things is not like the other. ♪ Like, one...
Like... Um, so it was really important to me
that we really show gay sex in its total honesty,
which, you know, is, like...
It can be awkward, it can be sexy, it can be weird.
It's, like, it's all the things.
And, um, it was really...
I was like the bodyguard of the sex scene.
Like, I didn't want anyone to touch it. Like...
-Right. -Like, I just really...
It was important for me that we get it right.
And, um, that scene was not fun to shoot.
I mean, it was really, really difficult
to just be on my back for eight hours.
-Um, but I think we did it. -You did it. You did it.
-Yeah. -I think you've made a show that has a lot of heart.
It's really funny.
It's uncomfortable at moments in the right way.
Um, and most importantly, it's a show
that I think could easily stick with people
for four, five, maybe even six seasons. I mean...
-Oh, six. -May-Maybe.
Now, Net-Netflix, hello. Like...
Are their ears ringing?
-Oh, man. Thank you so much for being on the show. -Yeah.
-Thank you so much for having me. -I really appreciate it.
-Thank you. -Super funny show.
Special is currently streaming on Netflix.
Ryan O'Connell, everybody.