I made a few videos last year the beginning of 2014
they were just dumb little two-minute skits I was kind of a little bit of
troll actually.
and I talked to my ex-boyfriend about possibly want to do
youtube videos more often like maybe once a week and when I told him that,
I don't think he meant anything
mean by this, but he said I don't think you're really good at doing YouTube videos.
I can only see you doing YouTube videos like that and when he
said that I really don't know if he knows how much that affected me, but
that moment was the last moment I would post another video for an entire year because
that really got inside my head
I wish I didn't like that get to my head however I mean here we are now.
You coulda, woulda, shoulda, but
(someone knocking on the door)
I didn't ask for it. It just showed up.
There's was no note, no address, not even a name. Just the box. Just a cardboard box with
the words "Do Not Open" written at the top
Of course I wanted to open it so you might wonder why I didn't? What if it was meant
for someone else or if it was for me, but it was something terrible like threat or a bomb?
My curiosity was suffocated by my fear
so I put it away and try to go about the rest of my day
but it wasn't that easy. Thought out of sight I could still see the box in my mind
and the box was looking right back at me
taunting me, begging me to open it and see what was inside.
I knew I had to do something
So I did
My life was fine without this box
my life would be fine without it
But that's when it happened
The box was there in the same spot as if it hadn't been touched at all
Did I throw away the wrong box? If it wasn't this one that I threw then what
box did I toss?
I looked inside the bin to see what I thrown, but there was nothing there.
Was someone playing tricks?
I looked over my shoulder waiting for a friend to jump out and laugh at their
hex but it didn't happen
maybe I was more tired than I thought either way I shoved the box into the trash
and left behind but there was again
There was no way this could be the same box that I tossed unless accepting the fact
that my mind was lost, but I'm a clever man I'll see that the jokes on them
I'll put a smiley face right here before I throw it back in the bin.
My plan would put an end to this obnoxious game proving there's no way the box in my bed
was still the same
When I came back inside
it was there waiting to be found
the heart beating in my chest was the only sound as I picked up the box
and turned it around
Time and again I tried to get rid of this affliction but it kept coming back
like an untreated addiction
Finally with all options lost on the brink of insane I took the box out of
the city and engulfed it in flames
I used plenty of gas it didn't take long and I watched it burn until every last
bit was gone
Upon opening the door there was a lingering scare, but a sigh of relief
I saw the box was no longer there
In the heat of the struggle I had worked up a sweat so I changed into something I
hadn't worn yet
I swapped out my shirt and then closed the door
but there it was again
in the same spot as before
and I'm not proud to admit
I couldn't take anymore
I made a few videos last year.
dumb little two minute skits.
I was just trying to be funny. I was kind of a little bit of a troll
and I talked to my
ex-boyfriend about possibly wanting to do youtube videos more often like maybe once a week
and when I told him that, I don't think he meant anything mean by this but he said I don't think
you're really good at doing YouTube videos
I don't think you're really good at doing Youtube videos. I don't think you're really good at doing Youtube videos.
You suck! Why would you ever think you could do something like that??
In a way this box speaks to our doubts and our fears. Running from either can
haunt you for years. Instead of running away it's worth running towards because facing our
fear often leads to the greatest rewards.
Don't be ruled by your thoughts. They can lead you blind.
The greatest monsters you'll face
reside in your mind