[Brenda]
[Samantha]
She has a huge heart of gold.
Generous, kind, forgiving.
Just everything good.
[laughs]
[Brenda]
But now, everything has changed.
[slurring] This phone isn't working.
This phone doesn't--
The phone isn't working.
My paramount addiction is alcohol.
[dramatic music playing]
I love the taste of beer.
The way it hits your throat.
I drink it even when it's, like, warm.
[dramatic piano music playing]
[Brenda]
it's like nothing I've ever seen before.
She is almost like a chain smoker.
[Melia]
However many she can get her hands on.
[Brenda]
It's out of her control completely.
When she's drunk, her eyes just look dazed,
like there's no one behind them.
[Nichole] Oh.
[slurring] I want a drink.
[Brenda]
and falling all over the place.
[slurring]
Her hands will shake
and go into, like, seizure-type actions.
[whimpering]
[Brenda]
was one of the happiest days of my life.
She was absolutely adorable.
A showstopper, basically.
I've always dreamt of having a little girl,
and I got two of them.
Me and Nic are 21 months apart,
so we're very close.
We always played on the same teams.
We shared clothes. We were like best friends.
[Nichole]
My childhood was very happy, I think...
besides my dad's drinking.
[dramatic music playing]
When my uncle Dwayne is drinking out of control,
he gets really loud
and kind of obnoxious.
[Brenda]
He'd be in the driveway,
and I wouldn't even go in to get him in half the time.
My dad was a terrible drunk.
He would call me a bitch,
and he was strict.
Me and my sister got the belt.
He was a mean person.
I wasn't probably there as much as a guy could have been.
I don't believe I was ready to be a father at that time.
[Nichole]
to say, "I love you" or anything like that.
That hurt so bad.
I can't even tell you.
[Melia]
and I believe that my Auntie Brenda would kind of
buy them alcohol if they were gonna be at a house party.
[Brenda]
That's what everybody did. Like, all the moms that I knew.
They all said, "Okay, well,
just let them have, like, whatever."
Three or four coolers, and they go to the party.
[Donna]
were a little bit gray most of the time.
She wanted to be Nichole and Samantha's friend,
and sort of forgot that her main responsibility
was to be Nichole and Samantha's mother.
[Melia]
Just to have fun. She never had an issue.
[Samantha]
She was like Miss Popular, and all the guys liked her.
And it was kind of like I got overshadowed.
[dramatic music playing]
The first time I saw Nichole
I thought she was a very beautiful girl.
We had a lot in common.
Her personality was really fun, soft-hearted.
He made me feel safe.
I loved him right from square one.
[Jana]
and the first boy that she really felt comfortable around.
[Matt]
I was gonna marry.
[Brenda]
and he was all about her.
[dramatic music playing]
Living with Brenda and Dwayne were great,
because they actually took me in as their own son.
[Brenda]
because things weren't good with his parents.
At one point, I remember Matt telling me that he loved me
more than he loved his own mother.
[Melia]
and he was great, he was so much fun.
We really liked him. My whole family did.
[Matt]
We'd all have a good time together.
And everything seemed to be okay at that time.
[Nichole]
I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.
Matt was like a regular guy
on the outside.
On the inside,
I don't really know who he was.
[rock music playing]
[Matt]
"I'm gonna be with Sam."
I did not expect that. Sam didn't.
It just happened.
We were really close friends.
Like, we have the same type of personalities.
He'd do anything for me.
And it ended up becoming a relationship.
[Brenda]
I was totally disgusted
to think that she would go off with Nichole's boyfriend
of five years.
Why would somebody hurt you like that?
The drinking started to progress at that point.
[sobbing] I want a drink.
I want a drink.
If she doesn't quit, she's probably gonna die.
[sniffles]
[Brenda] Okay, so you're gonna get a six pack, okay?
[Nichole] Yeah.
[Samantha]
Me and Nic used to laugh about that all the time.
We'd say that we can get anything from Mom.
[Brenda] Well, he's at Donna's sleeping.
[tearfully] Why would he do that?
As far as I'm concerned,
it's better to stay out of the way when she's drunk.
Brenda loathes Matt.
There's not even words to describe how I feel anymore.
We won't have anything to do with her
as long as she's with Matt.
Matt is a manipulative...
sociopath.
He's not a good person.
[Donna]
for Nichole's addiction,
and totally destroying the self-esteem
of both of her girls.
[dramatic music playing]
Nic, I know...
I know I've made a lot of really bad decisions in the past.
Okay? And these choices have affected not only...
Not only me and your relationship,
but the entire family.
I'm now willing to look at my part...
and make a change.
And I'm looking forward to the day
that we can heal our relationship.
If you accept treatment today,
I want to do as much as I can to help you
and bring you back to the old Nic.
I love you to pieces, and I want you to get off
this terrible road you're going down.
I'll go. I don't-- I'll go.
Great. Yeah.
[laughs]
[uplifting music playing]
[Nichole]
And I feel like a completely different person.
[laughs]
I now realize that my drinking
is nobody's fault but my own,
and that my sister and Matt's relationship
had nothing to do with it.
It was all my choice.
I do feel great,
but I feel that I still have...
definitely have work to do.
[solemn music playing]
My relapse, in one day,
brought me right back to where I was
before I was in Cedars.
And I learned I am completely powerless
over alcohol and drugs,
and I know that I can never drink or use again.
♪ Veins swell ♪
♪ You know me well enough ♪
♪ To tell ♪
♪♪ Five steps, you're over ♪
♪ Quick cut ♪