Translator: Leonardo Silva Reviewer: Peter van de Ven
Happy Holi,
Nepal.
I was celebrating with the kids.
And I asked Pranam, a six-year-old boy in our children's home,
"Pranam, what do you want to become in life?"
And he answered me with these big, promising eyes.
He said, "I want to be Pranam."
He was left on the streets five years ago, when he was just a baby.
Back then, it was the first time I visited Nepal.
At the time, I had no idea
that the Namaste Foundation would be my future,
that it would be my foundation.
I wrote on my blog, on my travel blog on the Internet,
about Pranam's situation,
and my family back home, they decided to support him.
So, Pranam got a loving family home,
with 80 brothers and sisters,
caretakers.
He brushes his teeth every day, he goes to school.
So now, he's safely growing up as Pranam.
Now, his answer made me think,
"What did I want to become when I was a six-year-old girl?"
I guess a teacher,
like my mom and dad were.
They were my big examples.
I grew up in this little loving family.
It was just me and my little sister.
She was three years younger than me.
She always looked like an angel, with her blond, curly hair.
I remember standing at her cradle.
I couldn't wait till she woke up again to come and play with me again.
We lived in the oldest and smallest house in a little village,
in Friesland.
My mom and dad had all the time for us.
My dad played the guitar,
and my mom, she used her creativity
to organize these unforgettable birthday parties for us.
Now, everything changed drastically when I became a teenager.
It wasn't easy for me
to take the coolest boy from the area into this small house
where everything smelled like macrobiotic soup.
(Chuckles)
In the eyes of the villagers, we were this hippie family,
and I just wanted to be like my friends:
live in a normal house,
eat normal food,
and drive a normal car.
I told my parents I would show them how life really should be lived.
My sister, she couldn't care less.
She did yoga with my mom and drank the herbal tea.
And one day, she took off to Nepal with her backpack.
And she went off to the land of Buddha,
while I didn't want to miss one party at the local disco,
searching for my perfect dress and a matching lipstick.
It was just my dream to fly out of this little house as soon as possible.
So, after graduating from Law School, I became a tax lawyer at a big company.
My first paycheck was larger than the one my dad supported our whole family with.
And I needed this money.
I bought a beautiful penthouse with my boyfriend,
and we drove in our convertible to our sailing boat and skiing trips.
I was thinking, "What to achieve next? LA? New York? Singapore?"
Some say
life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.
And it was exactly today 13 years ago, on December 6, 2000,
when my sister jumped in front of a train.
Yes,
she committed suicide.
My knees on the cold bathroom floor -
My life was turned upside down.
And the long office hours didn't give me the answers to my questions,
like, "What is this life about?"
"What is suicide?"
And, "Why? What drives people who end it?"
I was shocked to learn from medical research
that suicide is an important public health issue
which is strongly associated with severe mental illness.
Every year, only in the Netherlands,
1,700 people commit suicide,
and it's increasing.
This is two and a half times more than people dying in traffic accidents.
And 1 out of 10 people has had thoughts about suicide.
So, statistically,
in this room, there are 40, 45 of us who've had these thoughts.
But we don't speak about that, because it's a frightening thought.
I was having this fear, after seeing it happen next to me.
If it could happen to my sister -
I didn't dare to speak about it,
because I experienced a huge taboo on the subject.
People were saying like, "Suicide? That's the most egoistic deed."
But I never felt that way.
I've never been angry with Femke, never.
I really wanted to understand her,
to really understand her.
And that frightened me as well because understanding her,
did that mean becoming her and ending up the same way, maybe?
Nevertheless, I followed her footsteps.
I packed my sister's backpack with only the stuff I needed,
I sold the rest and took off, traveling.
Now, this all sounds like a very coherent process,
but I struggled, stumbled and fell.
But following her footsteps to Nepal,
I experienced a land full of contradictions.
Like a breathtaking nature, with the highest snow peaks in the world,
clashes with the chaos in the cities.
And the colorful people lie in the streets,
without owning a single possession.
I could clearly see what she had witnessed:
the richness in these smiles in contrast with the poverty.
I learned to understand better how Femke saw the world.
And in the meantime, I started a project, a women empowerment project,
and a scholarship project for children like Pranam.
And of course, I know I cannot change the world by myself,
but it makes me happy
to at least support the change I wish to see.
And I enjoy my time spent with the children,
like with Pranam,
and learning from their wisdom.
Because Pranam is right, isn't he?
It's the biggest achievement in life,
and probably also the most difficult achievement in life,
to become yourself.
Now, that's a real successful career.
A great gift after a great loss.
Now, I wouldn't know how to prevent suicide;
I'm not a doctor or a psychiatrist.
And even they have limited resources, still.
But what I do know
is that for the people who are left behind and for the people who are suffering,
it helps to share our story.
So,
I hope to be a voice for those people today
and to put a step in that direction,
to approach suicide with empathy, no judgment,
to open a dialogue,
and break the taboo.
Thank you.
(Applause)