This video is about "Every Time You Settle!" I will reveal what typically happens every time you
settle for someone who is just not right for you...To find out more please stay tuned to this video...
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and turn your life around with BetterHelp! The link is in the description just down below...
Every time you settle you get exactly what you've settled for! It's as simple as that, and this could
be due to low self-esteem, peer pressure from other people, insecurities but if you look around most
people settle in bad jobs and careers because of low ambition, in areas and places they find
miserable, friendships that are detrimental and toxic, and of course romantic relationships that
are just not right. Think about it, as much as it might get played down by most people, if you marry
that wrong person have kids etc, look at how much harder your life is going to be = think of the debt
the legal battles... the time, energy, resources wasted on the wrong person. On top of all of that
you'll never be good enough for the wrong person that's a fact, and typically when people settle
they're settling for the wrong person! They're settling for someone who might be emotionally
abusive or emotionally neglectful... somebody for the fact that they just fear being alone...
they settle for someone who's disrespectful... who's just happens to be single too and desperate maybe
or someone who's not their typical type because they've been with all of the bad boys or the
girls that are this that that whatever and they're going to settle for something that's the opposite ...
It's a sad situation and it's happening more often than you think!
Years ago I was in a very toxic relationship with a narcissist - I was well and truly settling
I should never have wasted the years I did with her and frankly after the third date I should
have walked away there and then! I was very lucky to not marry such a person or have kids with them
it would have been a nightmare had I done so and I was very very very very close to making
that official with her and going down that route! So technically speaking I know what it's like to
settle and how dangerous it can be to your overall life and of course our mental health....
not to mention our future too...Let's continue on the subject of every time you settle
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Sometimes when we get into relationships and we're settling we do so dishonestly
we say to ourselves in our minds "okay they're flawed and I'm gonna change them
and mold them into the person I want them to be!" Have you been guilty of doing this?
Okay I need to make some important disclaimers here = if a person's in a career change or building
a business from scratch that doesn't count, as they're growing and have met you in the process
and instead like their cheerleader you support them through that! The same applies if a person
is on a serious health kick and is becoming clean and sober or dieting
to lose weight, again you're the cheerleader supporting them along this new healthier path...
Instead what I'm focusing on is a person's deep rooted nature character and personality
looks fade over time but rudeness, aggression, grumpiness, entitlement that never goes away!
People who are narcissists in my honest opinion are some of the most difficult
toxic and negative to associate with, let alone have a romantic relationship with...
When I first met my ex-narcissist I was on cloud nine = she was the hottest woman I'd ever met
I felt like a film star! I was extremely confident, at the time things were going well
and I said to myself "she's hot and I've got this, I can handle her easily!"
The red flags stared me in the face - remember this is a woman I should never have gone on more than
one or two dates with, let alone spend years with! "I can change her" I said to myself "I'll improve her!"
Sadly I remember early on in the honeymoon phase of the relationship pinpointing areas of her
life that she needed to work on...arguments were starting right at the beginning yet
I was naive and I persevered genuinely and stubbornly thinking "she's going to change"
She only got worse and I tried everything and every angle you could imagine to get her to
improve and I failed miserably and learnt a harsh lesson. Suppose the person you're settling for
is not as extreme as this narcissist, at the same token whoever they are you cannot change them! You
can't change people and also if you want to change them why are you with them in the first place?
Typically whenever we settle we do so because of attachment issues
and that's why I'd love to tell you about BetterHelp my sponsor! I've personally used them and
found them so effective for dealing with my attachment issues and turning my life around!
It's an online portal that provides direct to consumer access to behavioral health services
The online counseling and therapy services are provided through web-based interaction as well as
phone and text communication. BetterHelp gives you four live sessions a month and unlimited messaging
in between sessions as well as access to group therapy webinars which are updated each and every
single week! You can sign up for the BetterHelp online counseling service in the description below
By using that link you'll be supporting The SCG Show YouTube channel and I'll give you 10% off
your first month too! So stop settling for the wrong people, deal with your attachment issues,
turn your life around with BetterHelp! The link is in the description below...
There is a series of Marvel Comics called "What If?" which explores different scenarios of some of the
most famous characters like what if Spider-man didn't fight crime? What if the Fantastic Four
never had their powers? What if Thanos joined the Avengers? I think you get the idea but the
concept of the series is to explore the unknown and the endless possibilities that come with it
multiverses, story lines that keep evolving etc. Now where on earth am I going with this?
When you settle and whoever you settle with, you'll be essentially starring in your own imagination in
your own personal version of the "what if" stories... Trust me this happens but unlike the Marvel series
it's not as exciting or entertaining...I used to do this plenty of times and
here are some of the typical hypothetical scenarios that went through my head = what
if I never met this narcissistic woman... what if I get married to her... what if we end up having kids
what if we end up getting divorced... what if things only get worse between us....
what if she continues to get more toxic... what if I lose control and keep getting stressed, angry
agitated... what if this is not the best I can do... what if there is a better woman out there for
me...what if another woman is better suited for my wants and needs... what if another woman will make me
feel really truly happy again.... what if I'm with the wrong person? Now full disclosure I never cheated
on my ex (that is not my style) but my mind was playing fantasies of relationships with someone
far healthier, better suited to what I was currently having and maybe you are
or will be doing the same...I personally think this is happening for a reason, irrespective if you're
indecisive, these what-if stories are going on because your mind, body and soul knows deep down
underneath all the excuses you tell yourself and other people "I'm settling and I deserve better..."
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any of my videos! Typically the longer we stay with someone not right for us in a relationship
(aka when we settle) the larger the resentment grows towards that person
and eventually towards ourselves! We turn almost into zombies on autopilot - not having a single idea
how or why we act feel or behave the way we are! That's a sad place to be trust me
What does resentment look like in a relationship? Increased agitation towards the partner feeling
like you want to escape the relationship... a reduced feeling of empathy... less interest
in intimacy and sex (been there done that got the t-shirt too) but let me break each one of the above
down in more detail = the increased agitation you become snappy judgmental and perhaps aggressive
towards your partner over the most trivial things you say it's about the toilet seat being left up
or the house being messy.... but it's way deeper than that this is where the "what if" fantasies play
a loop in your mind, when you want to escape as you imagine dreams about getting out! You feel like an
overwhelming sense of relief as you break free and life is amazing again... until you realize it's
a fantasy and you're still in the relationship... reduced feelings of empathy, perhaps because you've
settled and maybe you are the most empathetic and compassionate person you know, regardless you still
start to care less... maybe because for too long now your own wants, needs, desires, voice, opinions
etc, have been neglected along the way... and lastly less intimacy - the bedroom is well and truly dead
you hardly hold hands, kiss or cuddle... maybe you sleep in separate beds, or on different couches
when you watch TV who knows... all I can tell you is that doesn't sound very romantic and fun does it?
Remember every time you settle you get what you settled for!
You signed up for this! You agreed to this and of course everything that goes along with it as well...
As I reflect back on the years in the wasted toxic relationship by the very very odd and rare
moments of joy...I was miserable man! I entered the relationship a confident, successful, healthy, happy
dude and I left it a broken, miserable, unhealthy shadow of my former self... Now listen don't get
me wrong I've had to grow up a mature massively along the way, but the point being I was miserable!
I've been told by healthy couples, relationships are a bliss, a haven, it makes us smile, content
happy, it's a compliment to our life never a chore! When you settle you are in the long
run signing yourself up for misery and why do you want to waste your precious life on that?
Seriously why do you want to be miserable? Now you might say "but being single is misery
and it's so lonely!" It's the lesser of the two evils but also being single gives you freedom
and in that freedom you can rediscover who you are, improve yourself along the way and
do the work to eventually attract someone healthier and better! I know the feeling
of being sat on the sofa with your settled partner and you just feel empty drained or bored
or when they call you or text you maybe you feel like a feeling of disgust or misery.... is that really
deep down (it's me and you talking here) what you want? Is this the life that you signed up for?
Because when you settle (I don't care how long for or what you settle for) eventually expect misery...