- There's such a wide variety of what being gay can mean.
So like, oh, if I'm in the locker room
and you tap your buddy's ass, like yeah.
It's a little gay, you know? (participants laugh)
(catchy music)
- [Announcer] Everyone is a little bit gay.
Three, two, one, go.
- This one's a tough one
because like I definitely have like straight friends
who wouldn't do anything with me,
even though I find 'em very attractive.
And I joke around with 'em, I'm like, "Dude, I'd hit.
(participants laugh)
I'm like, yeah.
I know they wouldn't do anything.
And I think a lot of straight guys don't do it
because it's like, "Oh, no homo, bro."
The no homo thing is like so social.
If you guys like actually stood away from that and like,
I don't know, experimented and tried out for yourselves,
you might actually find out
that you like some certain things.
- I mean, well, sexuality is definitely a spectrum
and I think there's so many things between the spectrum,
but there also are those two polar opposites ends
of the spectrum.
So I think people definitely do identify
as very, very straight and very, very gay.
- Well, and the only reason I'm on this line is
because of what you said, like there's a spectrum, right?
So there's such a wide variety of what being gay can mean.
So like, oh, if I'm in the locker room
and you tap your buddy's ass, like yeah.
It's a little gay, you know? (participants laugh)
- [Announcer] People are born gay.
Three, two, one, go.
- Hi, guys.
So (laughs) I think this is more of a multifaceted question
because I consider gay
as not just who you're sexually attracted to.
It's part of an entire experience.
So if they discover themselves and they realize,
"Hey, maybe I could have a relationship
with someone of the same sex,"
does that mean they magically became bi at that point,
or are they born that way?
- Definitely, I agree.
I don't think that people are born gay.
However, I do think people are born
with like certain tendencies that can line up
with being gay, if that makes sense.
So like being a little more sensitive
or being like not having an interest in sports
but having more interest in art.
It's kind of like a bucket
and you just happen to have all these little tiny things
in your bucket when you're born,
but that doesn't make you gay kind of thing.
- So in that regard,
then would you say that being gay is a choice?
Because that's- - Absolutely not a choice
because you can ask any straight person, be gay for a day.
It's not a choice.
- And I think you guys were kind of touching
upon more than just the sexuality aspects.
Some like the cultural aspects, the mannerisms of being gay,
I think those are culturally learned things
and also things that you're comfortable with
and how you express yourself.
But I think from like a sexuality standpoint,
I mean sexuality develops as you're going through puberty
and you're not like, you know,
coming out of the womb like, "Hey, let's like have sex."
You know, like you're a child, you're developing it,
and it's kind of growing as you grow.
And so you don't choose.
You just have to, you know, be who you are.
- [Announcer] I prefer masculine men.
Three, two, one.
- Personally, I'm a really feminine, flamboyant person.
So just having that same energy
with another person just doesn't seem
really attractive to me.
I wanted to find someone who's like different, unique,
and someone I can learn from.
So just like having someone who's almost identical
or similar to me, I feel like I wouldn't grow enough.
- I am on this line because I want someone who is my equal.
Like I identify as a masculine man.
Therefore, I think the reason I strongly agree is just
because I want that equality
in my relationship as a masculine man.
- I think yes, there's a lot of innate attraction
of what you like, what you're born with,
but like also there's so much,
I think there's a lot of social pressure
that you don't even realize it's happening subconsciously
of what like you're trained to like
'cause I do like masculine men as well,
and then I was like kinda taking a step back like,
"Wait, why is that?
Why do I like that? Like am I being kind of force fed that?"
- When I was growing up,
you know, gay men were defined as feminine.
And I had a lot of feminine characteristics as a young boy,
and you know, I was singled out because of that
and bullied some because of that.
But I sort of was always drawn to people who were masculine
and I don't know if it was because
if there were people who were feminine
that reminded me of parts of myself I didn't like.
I think there's probably an aspect of that.
But you're sort of attracted to what you're attracted to.
I think there's not a lot of logic in it.
- [Announcer] Grindr is unhealthy.
Three, two, one, go.
- I think Grindr
and like dating apps are a really complex topic.
I think there's a lot of good and a lot of bad.
For me personally, I think the bad outweighs the good.
Specifically Grindr, the way it's set up,
it's a very hookup-based app and so like it really taught me
to like see other gay men as more objects
and more of like pieces of meat kind of thing
than actual people.
- Well, me personally, I'm more like a romantic guy.
Like I'm in it for like the long run with someone kind of.
So the fact that a lot of the guys that I have went out
with only wanted sex, I think has a lot to do-
(participants laugh)
I think has a lot to do with like dating apps like Grindr
where it's just like sex-based.
I think it fuels that like sex fire
that a lot of gay men seem to have.
- I think there need to be more arenas
in which gay men can meet each other.
I'm a gay father,
I have a daughter who's 18 and a son who's 13.
When I was growing up,
the idea of a gay man growing up and getting married
and being monogamous and being happy
and having children was from Mars.
And when my husband and I were starting to have our kids,
we met with a group of people called the Pop Luck Club
and it was gay men who wanted to become fathers.
And it wasn't until that time that I finally found my tribe.
It was like, "Oh my god, these are people like me."
They weren't any sort of gay stereotype,
they just wanted to have families.
And that's what you don't see on Grindr
or anywhere else like that.
- [Announcer] Pride month is necessary.
Three, two, one, go.
- I am on somewhat disagree
because I believe pride month was necessary
because we were in a time where gays weren't allowed
to be who they are,
and basically everything we are now and that's great.
I just think like the pride month was good when we needed it
and it's good to keep up with traditions,
but I think it just goes a little too far sometimes
for me personally.
- Coming out too, I think for everybody,
it's a process from the time you begin to realize you're gay
until you hopefully can fully accept it one day.
There were years where it was like
I would never go near that pride.
I would like go six blocks out
of the way not to be associated with it
'cause it was so scary to me, and it was a gradual process.
And the first time I did do it,
it was the most empowering moment just
to be part of thousands of people.
- I had the same feeling too.
Yeah. - Yeah.
- I think I think pride is so important.
I think pride is so important and like
'cause I mean we have a lot more rights
than we did 50, 60 years ago,
but like we're still not equal citizens in a lot of places
and we're still not equal in a lot of people's eyes.
And like pride is every goddamn day.
Just like being yourself authentically without any questions
and just like fighting for what you believe in.
It's still so important though every day just
to really be proud of who you are
and really express that and try and, you know,
change the world with what you can do.
(participants and crew cheering)
(upbeat music)
- Hey guys, my name is Michael.
- I'm Ian.
- Thank you so much for watching this episode of "Spectrum".
It's so amazing to see where people will stand on the line.
- In the process of making "Spectrum" as a series,
what do you think is one thing you've learned?
- Oh, every time I do this series,
my mind opens to like, I don't know, a different galaxy.
But the biggest thing I learned is like,
no, everyone doesn't think the same,
which is pretty obvious but-
- Well, it's not obvious sometimes, right?
- Exactly. - But it's good to do it-
- It's good to check it yourself.
- Oh, yeah. Thank you for watching, you guys.
Follow us on Instagram @jubileemedia.
We post a lot of different kind of stuff for you guys
and we also love just interacting with you.
And yeah, follow us on everywhere
and we'll see you around. - Everywhere.
See ya. - Bye.
(bright music)