He there, this is clay with RelationshipInnerGame.com, and today we're going to be talking about
something that's maybe a little bit more serious and this is people who write in with a question
that comes in actually surprisingly often more often than you'd think, which is what
to do if your ex has some sort of mental illness, something like depression or bipolar disorder,
borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder or you know, any other
thing like that out there.
Of course, I have to preface this by saying, you know, I'm not a psychologist.
I'm a guy on YouTube.
Even if I was a psychologist, this is just a youtube video.
This is not me diagnosing anybody.
This is not me giving anybody actual advice because of these many things that you know,
I'm, you're watching this video.
I don't know you, I don't know your ex.
I have not interacted with them most likely and even if I did, it probably was not enough
or in a substantial way to actually be able to diagnose them in a way where I could give
any meaningful specific advice.
Of course, see a psychologist, get your ex to see a psychologist, all of that stuff.
But when it comes to a mental disorder, this is what you need to know.
Number one, you have to accept that your ex has this condition.
Whatever it is, right?
You have to emotionally accept that, right?
We've talked about emotional acceptance in a previous video.
Um, and you have to just welcome that and just say, not that you have to be excited
about it or anything, but you just have to be emotionally okay with the fact that this
is the way that this person is.
Your ex is a person that has, you know, fill in the blank disorder, fill in the blank syndrome,
fill in the blank illness, right?
You have to be emotionally okay with that.
And you know, of course, depending on whatever the mental illness is, it might be a temporary
thing.
It might be a permanent thing or whatever.
And you just have to accept that, hey, if I get into a relationship with somebody who
has borderline personality disorder, I will experience the consequences of being in a
relationship with somebody who has borderline personality disorder.
Okay.
And by acceptance here, what I'm saying is that you should not expect them to change
for you.
Okay.
How you found them is how they are likely to stay.
Which means if your ex or anybody that you're dating or seeing or anything like that has
borderline personality disorder, they will probably always have borderline personality
disorder.
If they have depression, they will probably always have some sort of depression in their
life.
If they have bipolar, they'll probably always had bipolar in some way of their life.
Now, sure there is medication and all of that stuff.
Again, I'm not a psychiatrist or anything like that, so don't take any advice on that
from me, but you have to accept them as they are and assume that how you found them as
how they are likely to stay.
Can people change?
Yes.
Do people change?
Yes, but can you expect that you will change them?
No.
Can you expect that the power of your love will change them?
No.
Can you expect that you will learn some sort of secret text message technique that will
cause them to finally stop being emotionally unavailable and learned to love you and only
you for now and forever?
No, because again, our golden rule is how you found them is how they are likely to stay.
So from this point of view, you have a choice.
You have to choose to either pursue a relationship with them and face the consequences of being
in a relationship with a person who has some sort of disorder, disease, illness, whatever.
Okay.
You have to accept that.
And if you choose to accept that, you have to be emotionally okay with the fact that
you will get the consequences of that.
Right.
Again, I don't.
I don't know what particular illness your ex, significant other boyfriend, girlfriend,
whatever, has what?
You have to be emotional.
Okay with that and if you're not, which is totally okay.
You know, you don't have to be in a relationship with somebody who has borderline personality
disorder, has bipolar disorder, is depressed, has, you know, manic depressive, whatever
it is, right?
You don't have to be in a relationship with somebody who has any of these things.
That's 100 percent okay.
And if you choose not to, then you have to let go of that person and decide, okay, uh,
that's not something that I'm prepared to deal with.
So I'm gonna go out and see if I can find a relationship with somebody who doesn't have
this disorder, this illness, this, whatever.
So that's really what I would recommend if you are experiencing some sort of relationship
issue with somebody who has some kind of mental illness.
Okay?
So I hope this helps you out and if you'd like to learn more about how to meet and connect
with somebody on a romantic level, please go ahead and check out our website RelationshipInnerGame.com.
I'll talk to you in our next video.
Take care.