ARCTIC NEEDED WAS THE WORLD’S FIRST STOP OF PUTTING A NUCLEAR
POWER PLANT ONNEN TO OF EN TOTOP
FLOATING IT ON ICE, YOUR DREAMS
HAVE COME TRUE, THAT’S ALL JUST
HAPPENED.
HAPPENED. WHEN IT COMES TO ENERGY STUFF
AND CLIMATE STUFF, BECAUSE WE
ARE STILL THE WORLD’S BIGGEST
ECONOMY, THERE IS STILL NO
IMPORTANT DECISIONMAKER THAN THE
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA WHEN IT
COMES TO THESE THINGS AND AT
THIS POINT WITH OUR CURRENT
LEADERSHIP, MOST OF WHAT THE
REST OF THE WORLD IS DOING ON
THIS SUBJECT WHEN IT COMES TO US
IS THEY’RE LAUGHING AT US AND
OCCASIONALLY TAUNTING US.
>> WINDMILLS.
>> WINDMILLS. IF IT DOESN’T BLOW, YOU CAN
FORGET ABOUT TELEVISION FOR THAT
NIGHT.
NIGHT. >> MR. PRESIDENT, I WANT TO
PRESENT YOU TO THE GREATEST DEAL
YOU HAVE EVER SEEN.
IT IS SO GREAT THAT I THOUGHT I
MIGHT ACTUALLY GET YOUR
ATTENTION BY STANDING HERE NEXT
TO THIS BIRD-KILLING,
CANCER-CAUSING,
CANCER-CAUSING, BLACKOUT-GENERATING,
BLACKOUT-GENERATING, WIND-ENERGY-PRODUCING BEAST
WIND-ENERGY-PRODUCING BEAST HERE.
HERE. MY NAME IS EDA, A MEMBER OF THE
DANISH PARLIAMENT AND NOW THAT
YOU’RE HERE LET’S TALK ABOUT THE
DEAL.
DEAL. >> OKAY.
>> OKAY. >> IT’S ABOUT CHEAP ENERGY AND
SAVING THE CLIMATE.
HERE’S AN EXAMPLE.
THE NORTH SEA REGION, THAT’S THE
SEA ON TOP OF EUROPE, CAN
PRODUCE TWICE AS MUCH
ELECTRICITY AS ALL THE COAL
FIRED POWER PLANTS OF EUROPE
COMBINED.
COMBINED. AND, LOOK, IT’S SMALLER THAN
NEBRASKA.
NEBRASKA. IMAGINE THE POSSIBILITIES IN ALL
OF YOUR GREAT UNITED STATES OF
AMERICA
AMERICA AMERICA.
AMERICA. >> REER, REER.
DARLING, I WANT TO WATCH
TELEVISION, SORRY THE WIND ISN’T
BLOWING.
BLOWING. >> OH, YEAH, THE BLACKOUTS,
DON’T WORRY ABOUT YOUR TV
DINNERS AND MOVIE NIGHTS.
IN DENMARK WHERE MOST OUR LEK
ELECTRICITY COMES FROM WIND, WE
HAVE AN AVERAGE 15 BLACKOUTS PER
YEAR AND THE U.S. WITH ALL YOUR
COAL FIRED POWER PLANTS, TWO
HOURS EVERY YEAR.
>> OUR COUNTRY IS IN SERIOUS
TROUBLE.
TROUBLE. >> SO, MR. PRESIDENT, WE ALL
KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS.
JUST GRAB YOUR PEN, SIGN A DEAL
AND LET’S SAVE THE CLIMATE.
>> THAT’S THE SEA ON TOP OF
EUROPE.
EUROPE. THAT WAS RELEASED IN THE LAST
FEW DAYS BY A MEMBER OF THE
DANISH PARLIAMENT.
DANISH PARLIAMENT. IN NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCES THAT
MIGHT GET AMERICANS’ BACKS UP IN
DEFENSE OF OUR PRESIDENT, RIGHT,
HOWEVER MUCH WE HAVE INTERNAL
DISAGREEMENT, DISSENSION IN
TERMS OF OUR OWN FEELINGS ABOUT
OUR OWN LEADERS, USUALLY YOU’D
EXPECT A BROAD SWATH OF
AMERICANS TO FEEL BAD ABOUT SOME
POLITICIAN FROM SOME OTHER
COUNTRY MAKING FUN OF OUR
PRESIDENT IN THIS WAY.
IN THIS WAY, IT’S HARDER FOR US
TO GET THERE BECAUSE OUR
PRESIDENT CANCELED A TRIP O THAT
COUNTRY, TO DENMARK, BECAUSE HE
COMPLAINED THAT COUNTRY’S
LEADERSHIP DID NOT WANT TO TALK
TO HIM ABOUT HIM BUYING
GREENLAND.
GREENLAND. I REALLY DON’T WANT TO TALK
ABOUT DONALD TRUMP SUGGESTING
THAT HE COULD DO THAT, YOU KNOW,
THAT HE WANTS TO BUY GREENLAND.
I JUST -- I’M JUST GOING -- BUT
SEPARATE AND APART FROM THE
INSANITY OF THAT ENTIRE CONCEPT,
I MEAN, HE REALLY DID JUST
CANCEL A TRIP TO DENMARK BECAUSE
THEY SAID
THEY SAID HE SAID THEY WEREN’T GOING TO
TALK TO HIM ABOUT THE U.S.
BUYING GREENLAND.
BUYING GREENLAND. HE SAID THAT AFTER HE PUBLICLY
INSISTED HE WASN’T GOING TO
DENMARK TO TALK TO THEM ABOUT
BUYING GREENLAND.
BUYING GREENLAND. AGAIN, WHETHER OR NOT YOU CARE
ABOUT THE INCREDIBLY INSANE IDEA
THAT THE U.S. WOULD BUY
GREENLAND, HOW IS IT THAT A U.S.
PRESIDENT SAYS, NO, DON’T WANT
THAT, THEN SAYS, OH, YES, I WANT
THAT AND I’M CANCELING MY
INTERNATIONAL TRIP BECAUSE I
DIDN’T GET IT?
RIGHT, NO MATTER THE SUBJECT OR
THE STUPIDITY OR INSANITY OF THE
ORIGINAL SUBJECT, THAT’S THATSOR
AN 180-DEGREE TURN FROM AN
AMERICAN PRESIDENT IS HONESTLY
NUTS.
NUTS. HIM SAYING, NO, I DON’T WANT
THAT.
THAT. I’M CANCELING MY TRIP BECAUSE I
DIDN’T GET THAT.
I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU DIDN’T
WANT THAT.
WANT THAT. MY EARLIER STATEMENT -- I DON’T
ACKNOWLEDGE I MADE MY EARLIER
STATEMENT.
STATEMENT. WHAT ARE WE TALK BING ABOUT?
IT’S GREENLAND?
IT’S GREENLAND? I KNOW WE’VE GOTTEN USED TO THIS
KIND OF THING BUT IT IS NUTS.
IT WAS ALSO NUTS THIS WEEKEND AT
THE G7 WHEN PRESIDENT TRUMP WAS
ASKED IF HE ATTENDED THE MEETING
AT THE G7 THAT WAS ABOUT
CLIMATE.
CLIMATE. THE PRESIDENT RESPONDED BY
SAYING THAT THAT MEETING HAD NOT
YET HAPPENED YET.
THAT IT WAS GOING TO BE NEXT.
THE NEXT THING, LIKE THE NEXT
THING IN THE FUTURE.
IN FACT, THE MEETING HAD ALREADY
HAPPENED.
HAPPENED. AND HE JUST HADN’T BEEN THERE.
THEN THE WHITE HOUSE PRESS
SECRETARY PUT OUT A FORMAL
STATEMENT EXPLAINING THAT THE
REASON THE PRESIDENT HADN’T GONE
TO THE CLIMATE SESSION WAS NOT
BECAUSE IT WAS STILL IN THE
FUTURE, AS FAR AS HE WAS
CONCERNED, BUT, INSTEAD, BECAUSE
AT THE TIME OF THE CLIMATE
MEETING, HE WAS BUSY.
HE WAS HAVING BILATERAL MEETINGS
WITH THE LEADERS OF INDIA AND
GERMANY.
GERMANY. WELL, HERE’S A PICTURE OF THE
CLIMATE MEETING THAT HE DIDN’T
GO TO.
GO TO. THERE’S THE LEADER OF GERMANY IN
THE PURPLE THERE.
THAT’S THE LEADER OF INDIA IN
THE BLACK.
THE BLACK. THE INDIAN AND GERMAN LEADERS
WERE THERE.
WERE THERE. PRESIDENT TRUMP DIDN’T SKIP THE
CLIMATE MEETING SO HE COULD MEET
WITH THE TWO OF THEM.
THEY WERE AT THAT MEETING.
HAD HE BEEN MEETING WITH THEM,
HE’D HAVE TO DO IT THERE BECAUSE
THAT’S WHERE THEY WERE.
HE’S THE ONLY ONE WHO WASN’T
THERE.
THERE. HIS EMPTY CHAIR IS THERE
INSTEAD.
INSTEAD. IT WAS ALSO NUTS WHEN THE
PRESIDENT WAS ASKED BY A
REPORTER THAT THE G7, "MR.
PRESIDENT, ANY SECOND THOUGHTS
ON ESCALATING THE TRADE WAR WITH
CHINA?"
CHINA?" AND HE ANSWERED, "YEAH, SURE,
WHY NOT?"
WHY NOT?" THE REPORTER FOLLOWED UP,
"SECOND THOUGHTS, YES?"
THE PRESIDENT SAID, "MIGHT AS
WELL, MIGHT AS WELL."
THE REPORTER TRIED AGAIN, "YOU
HAVE SECOND THOUGHTS ABOUT
ESCALATING THE WAR WITH CHINA?"
PRESIDENT’S RESPONSE, "I HAVE
SECOND THOUGHTS ABOUT
EVERYTHING."
EVERYTHING." AT WHICH POINT SOMEBODY DISTANT
DISTANTLY IN THE ROOM STARTED
LAUGHING OUT LOUD BECAUSE THEY
COULDN’T CONTROL THEMSELVES.
I MEAN, IF THIS WERE ANYBODY
INVOLVED IN THE UNITED STATES
GOVERNMENT IN ANY OFFICIAL
CAPACITY WHO SPOKE THIS WAY
PUBLICLY AT AN INTERNATIONAL
GATHERING LIKE THIS, RIGHT,
THEIR COLLEAGUES OR THEIR
SUPERIORS OR AT LEAST SECURITY
WOULD, LIKE, LIFT THEM UP BY THE
ARMPIT AND RUSH THEM OUT THE
DOOR, RIGHT, UNTIL THEY COULD BE
REVIVED OR GIVEN MEDICAL
TREATMENT.
TREATMENT. IN THIS CASE, IT’S THE PRESIDENT
AND EVERYBODY GOES, OKAY, I
GUESS THEIR NEW LINE IS THE
AMERICAN PRESIDENT HAS SECOND
THOUGHTS ABOUT EVERYTHING.
WHEN THE PRESIDENT DOESN’T SHOW
UP FOR MEETINGS, WE’LL JUST MAKE
STUFF UP ABOUT THAT MEETING
HAVING NOT HAPPENED.
OR HIM HAVING BEEN SOMEWHERE
WHERE HE WASN’T.
AFTER THE PRESIDENT TOLD
REPORTERS EXPLICITLY HE WAS
HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS ABOUT HIS
NEW TARIFFS ON CHINA, THE
ADMINISTRATION HAD TO FIGURE OUT
WHAT THEY WERE GOING TO DO WITH
THAT ONE, RIGHT?
"I HAVE SECOND THOUGHTS ABOUT
EVERYTHING."
EVERYTHING." THEY QUICKLY MOUNTED THIS SORT
OF CLEANUP EFFORT.
3:02 P.M., LARRY KUDLOW WENT ON
CNN TO EXPLAIN THAT MAYBE THE
PRESIDENT HAD JUST GIVEN THAT
ANSWER TO REPORTERS BECAUSE HE
DIDN’T REALLY KNOW WHAT THE
QUESTION WAS.
QUESTION WAS. MAYBE THAT’S A GOOD EXPLANATION?
>> SO THE PRESIDENT SAID THAT
HE’S HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS
ABOUT ESCALATING THE TRADE WAR.
WHY?
WHY? >> WELL, LOOK, IF I CAN
REINTERPRET THAT, I MEAN, HE
SPOKE TO US, HE DIDN’T EXACTLY
HEAR THE QUESTION.
>> I COULD REINTERPRET THAT.
HE DIDN’T -- THAT WAS 3:02 P.M.
BY 3:04 P.M., IT WAS THE
TREASURY SECRETARY ON FOX NEWS
ALSO TRYING TO, PLAIN AWAY
WHATEVER IT WAS THE PRESIDENT
JUST SAID ABOUT HIS SECOND
THOUGHTS AND HOW HE DIDN’T MEAN
THAT AT ALL, WHATEVER HE SAID HE
DIDN’T MEAN IT, HE DIDN’T HEAR
THE QUESTION, IF HE DID, HIS
ANSWER SHOULDN’T BE
REINTERPRETED WITHOUT ME HERE TO
TELL YOU WHAT HE MIGHT HAVE
MEANT.
MEANT. BY THE FOLLOWING MORNING THE
PRESIDENT WAS BACK IN FORM.
APPARENTLY, MAKING THIS UP
COMPLETELY OUT OF WHOLECLOTH.
>> CALLED LAST NIGHT, TOP TRADE
PEOPLE, SAID LET’S GET BACK TO
THE TABLES.
THE TABLES. >> CHIP THATNA CALLED LAST NIGHT
YOU RECEIVED A PHONE CALL FROM
THE CHINESE GOVERNMENT.
THIS IS BIG NEWS.
ARE YOU SURE?
>> MR. PRESIDENT, I ASKED YOU,
COULD YOU TILLELL US A LITTLE MO
ABOUT THE CALL YOU REFERRED TO,
WHEN WILL THE NEXT ROUND OF
NEGOTIATIONS --
NEGOTIATIONS -- >> WE’VE GOTTEN TWO CALLS AND
VERY, VERY GOOD CALLS.
VERY PRODUCTIVE CALLS.
>> THERE WERE NO CALLS,
ACTUALLY.
ACTUALLY. THERE WERE NO CALLS.
AT LEAST ACCORDING TO CHINA.
CHINESE GOVERNMENT SAID THEY’RE
UNAWARE OF WHATEVER THESE
MYSTERY CALLS ARE THAT THE
PRESIDENT IS CLAIMING TO HAVE
RECEIVED FROM THE CHINESE
GOVERNMENT ON SUNDAY NIGHT.
THEY’RE LIKE, I DON’T KNOW WHO
CALLED YOU OR WHO THEY SAID THEY
WERE, BUT WASN’T US.
DID YOU REALLY THINK IT WAS US?
WHO TOLD YOU WE GOT CALLS?
DID YOU THINK YOU TOOK THE CALL?
DO YOU REMEMBER PUTTING THE
PHONE TO YOUR FACE AND TALKING
INTO IT?
INTO IT? WAS THERE ANYBODY THERE?
I MEAN, IN THE SPACE OF 30
SECOND THERE, HE GOES FROM IT
BEING A CALL THAT WE GOT LAST
NIGHT TO TWO CALLS AND VERY GOOD
CALLS.
CALLS. CHINA SAYS IT WAS NO CALLS AND
CHINA WOULD KNOW SINCE THAT’S
WHO SUPPOSEDLY CALLED.
THE WHITE HOUSE HAS BEEN UNABLE
TO PRODUCE ANY EVIDENCE TO
CONTRADICT WHAT CHINA SAYS ABOUT
ITS OWN BEHAVIOR.
THE MUCH MORE LIKELY EXPLANATION
HERE IS THAT THE PRESIDENT OF
THE UNITED STATES REALLY DOES
JUST FREQUENTLY SAY STUFF
THAT -- DOESN’T MEAN ANYTHING.
ABOUT WHAT HAS ACTUALLY HAPPENED
IN THE WORLD.
AND THAT HE EITHER BELIEVES
STUFF HAS HAPPENED WHEN IT
HASN’T HAPPENED OR HE JUST MAKES
IT UP AND DOESN’T CARE THAT IT
DIDN’T HAPPEN AND ASSUMES NO ONE
WILL CHECK.
WILL CHECK. AND I THINK IF WE’RE GOING TO BE
HONEST ABOUT THIS, IT’S NOT A
PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILE AT THIS
POINT.
POINT. IT’S NOW THE WAY THE U.S.
GOVERNMENT IS RUNNING.
IT’S NOT JUST HIM.
I MEAN, THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON
LONG ENOUGH NOW THAT HE’S GOT
THE WHITE HOUSE STAFF MAKING
STUFF UP AS WELL.
"U.S. OFFICIALS CALLED SEVERAL
MEMBERS OF THE TRAVELING WHITE
HOUSE PRESS ON SATURDAY
AFTERNOON.
AFTERNOON. SPEAKING ANONYMOUSLY, THE
OFFICIALS CLAIMED IT WAS ONLY ON
U.S. INSISTENCE THAT THERE WOULD
BE A SUMMIT SESSION ON ECONOMICS
AND TRADE AT ALL."
SO, U.S. GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS
DURING THE G7 SUMMIT THIS
WEEKEND ON SATURDAY AFTERNOON
CALLED UP REPORTERS AND SAID,
THIS, YOU KNOW, THIS G7 IS SO
STUPID, THEY WEREN’T GOING TO BE
TALKING ABOUT TRADE OR ECONOMICS
AT ALL UNTIL WE, THE U.S.
GOVERNMENT, INSISTED.
GOVERNMENT, INSISTED. THIS CLAIM BY ANONYMOUS WHITE
HOUSE OFFICIALS WAS, QUOTE,
UNDERMINED BY THE EXISTENCE OF
EARLIER DRAFTS OF THE G7 AGENDA,
WHICH ALL HAD SUCH A SESSION
INCLUDED.
INCLUDED. SO, THE PRESIDENT JUST MAKES
STUFF UP.
STUFF UP. THE WHITE HOUSE STAFF JUST MAKES
STUFF UP, TOO.
SOMETIMES TO COVER UP FOR LIES
THE PRESIDENT HAS TOLD TO TRY TO
MAKE THEM SEEM TRUE.
BUT SOMETIMES THEY JUST TELL
LIES OF THEIR OWN ACCORD.
THE "WASHINGTON POST’S" OVERVIEW
PIECE ABOUT THE G7 THIS WEEKEND
DESCRIBES THESE LAST FEW DAYS AS
A, QUOTE, LENS INTO THE
PRESIDENT’S UNORTHODOX MIND.
THAT IS A VERY GENEROUS WAY TO
PUT IT.
PUT IT. THEY DESCRIBE HIS, QUOTE,
FLUMMOXING MOVES THAT HAVE
RATTLED THE MARKETS AND HIS OWN
STAFF.
STAFF. SOME OF THE THINGS THE PRESIDENT
PUBLICLY LIED ABOUT THIS WEEKEND
APPEAR TO BE JUST COMPLETELY
UNFORCED ERRORS.
UNFORCED ERRORS. NOT JUST LIES BUT LYING NONSEKC
NONSECUTORS.
NONSECUTORS. HERE’S ONE THE WHITE HOUSE TRIED
TO CLEAN UP JUST BECAUSE IT WAS
SO WEIRD AND ALSO BECAUSE THE
FIRST LADY HAS STAFF THAT ANSWER
TO HER AND SO SOMETIMES STUFF
ABOUT HER HAS TO GET CLEANED UP.
LOOK AT THE HEADLINE HERE.
"WHITE HOUSE CLARIFIES THAT
MELANIA TRUMP HAS NOT MET KIM
JONG-UN."
JONG-UN." WHAT?
WHAT? YEAH.
YEAH. TRUMP JUST VOLUNTEERED TO
REPORTERS APROPOS OF NOTHING
THIS WEEKEND THE FIRST LADY HAS
GOTTEN TO KNOW KIM JONG-UN, I
THINK SHE WOULD AGREE WITH ME
HE’S A MAN WITH A COUNTRY THAT
HAS TREMENDOUS POTENTIAL."
"AS TRUMP MENTIONED HIS WIFE A
CAMERA CUT TO MELANIA IN THE
AUDIENCE AND COCKED HER HEAD AND
LOOKED SOMEWHAT QUIZZICALLY AT
THE PRESIDENT."
THE PRESIDENT." ISSUED A STATEMENT THAT CAME
WITH A TINY SOUVENIR BUCKET AND
MOP FOR THOSE WHOSE JOB IT IS TO
SEND STUFF OUT LIKE THIS ALL THE
TIME NOW.
TIME NOW. THAT’S NOT TRUE ABOUT THE BUCKET
AND MOP.
AND MOP. THE STATEMENT IS REAL.
THIS IS THE STATEMENT, "WHILE
THE FIRST LADY HAS NOT MET KIM
JONG-UN, THE PRESIDENT FEELS
LIKE SHE’S GOTTEN TO KNOW HIM."
IMAGINE IF THAT IS YOUR JOB TO
SEND OUT STUFF LIKE THAT.
THE PRESIDENT FEELS LIKE SHE’S
GOTTEN TO KNOW HIM.
THEREFORE, TRUE.
THEREFORE, TRUE. I MEAN, LIKE, IMAGINE IF YOUR
JOB IS TO CLEAN UP, TO SEND OUT
STUFF LIKE THAT, TO CLEAN UP
STATEMENTS LIKE THIS, NOT JUST
FOR, I DON’T KNOW, WHAT, LIKE
YOUR CRAZY UNCLE WHO BY SOME
PROBATE ACCIDENT ENDED UP
RUNNING YOUR OTHERWISE TOTALLY
NORMAL FAMILY BUSINESS AND YOU
HAVE TO BIDE YOUR TIME BECAUSE
NOBODY CAN GET RID OF HIM FOR A
WHILE AND SO WHEN HE SAYS CRAZY
TOUGH
TOUGH STUFF WE JUST HAVE TO PRETEND
LIKE HE’S NOT REALLY HERE.
I MEAN, I GUESS I COULD IMAGINE
IT BEING THAT NUTS BUT THIS IS
FOR THE MOST POWERFUL GOVERNMENT
AND LARGEST ECONOMY IN THE WORLD
AND THE GUY WITH WHO IS RUNHO IS
GOVERNMENT.
GOVERNMENT. WHILE THE FIRST LADY HABIT METT
HIM, THE PRESIDENT FEELS LIKE
SHE’S GOTTEN TO KNOW HIM.
THE PRESIDENT DID, HOWEVER,
BECOME HIS MOST LUCID SELF WHEN
HE HIT UPON THE IDEA WHEN IT
BECOMES AMERICA’S TURN NEXT YEAR
TO HOST THE G7, THAT SHOULD
DEFINITELY HAPPEN AT ONE OF HIS
PRIVATE CLUBS.
PRIVATE CLUBS. FOR SURE.
FOR SURE. NOT KIDDING.
NOT KIDDING. >> WITH DORAL, WE HAVE A SERIES
OF MAGNIFICENT BUILDINGS.
WE CALL THEM BUNGALOWS.
THEY EACH HOLD FROM 50 TO 70
VERY LUXURIOUS ROOMS WITH
MAGNIFICENT VIEWS.
MAGNIFICENT VIEWS. WE HAVE INCREDIBLE CONFERENCE
ROOMS, INCREDIBLE RESTAURANTS.
IT’S LIKE SUCH A NATURAL.
AND WE HAVE MANY HUNDREDS OF
ACRES SO THAT IN TERMS OF
PARKING, IN TERMS OF ALL OF THE
THINGS THAT YOU NEED, THE
BALLROOMS ARE AMONG THE BIGGEST
IN FLORIDA.
IN FLORIDA. AND THE BEST.
>> THE BIGGEST BALLROOMS.
THE BEST BALLROOMS IN FLORIDA.
THE BEST BALLROOMS IN FLORIDA.
ALSO, DID I MENTION OUR PARKING
FACILITIES WERE VERY NEARBY THE
AIRPORT, OUR BUNGALOWS HAVE VERY
LUXURIOUS VIEWS.
LUXURIOUS VIEWS. I MEAN, NEEDLESS TO SAY, IF THE
PRESIDENT DID DO THIS AND
DECIDED THAT HIS PRIVATELY OWNED
FOR-PROFIT BUSINESS WOULD BE THE
HOST OF THE NEXT G7, THAT WOULD,
IN EFFECT, BE FORCING OTHER
COUNTRIES’ GOVERNMENTS TO PAY
HIM AND HIS FAMILY IN ORDER TO
ATTEND THE G7.
AND THAT, AMONG OTHER THINGS,
WOULD BE FANTASTICALLY
UNCONSTITUTIONAL.
UNCONSTITUTIONAL. BUT NEVERTHELESS, I KID YOU NOT,
TODAY THE OFFICIAL WHITE HOUSE
TWITTER FEED REPACKAGED THOSE
LUCID AND EVEN EXCITED COMMENTS
BY THE PRESIDENT AT HIS
OTHERWISE SHOCKINGLY INCOHERENT
INTERNATIONAL APPEARANCE OVER
THESE LAST FEW DAYS.
THEY CLIPPED AND CAPTIONED THOSE
COMMENTS AS AN OFFICIAL
ANNOUNCEMENT.
ANNOUNCEMENT. LOOK, IT’S THE WHITE HOUSE
TWITTER FEED.
TWITTER FEED. NOT -- THIS IS NOT REAL DONALD
TRUMP, RIGHT?
TRUMP, RIGHT? THE WHITE HOUSE TWITTER FEED.
"PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP SHARES
THE LOCATION OF THE NEXT G7
SUMMIT HOSTED BY THE UNITED
STATES."
STATES." SO THE WHITE HOUSE, THE WHITE
HOUSE STAFF, IS OFFICIALLY
ANNOUNCING THAT THIS WASN’T
JUST, LIKE, THE PRESIDENT
SLIPPING A LITTLE MORE AND
LANDING, IN HIS MIND, ON A REAL
ESTATE BROCHURE WHERE HE’S
FRANKLY MORE COMFORTABLE,
ACCORDING TO THE WHITE HOUSE,
THAT REALLY WAS THE PRESIDENT OF
THE UNITED STATES ANNOUNCING
THAT HIS FAMILY’S PRIVATE CLUB
IS GOING TO HOST THE G7 AND ALL
THOSE OTHER COUNTRIES WHO WANT
TO SEND DELEGATIONS BECAUSE IT’S
THE G7 WILL HAVE TO PAY HIM AND
HIS FAMILY IN ORDER TO ATTEND
NEXT YEAR.
NEXT YEAR. ONE COUNTRY PER BUNGALOW.
YOU CAN JUST PAY DON JUNIOR AT
THE DOOR OR IVANKA.
LET’S MAKE THIS EASY.
LEAVE THE CHECK WITH ANY OF MY
CHILDREN.
CHILDREN. ALSO TRY THE VEAL.
I MEAN, THIS WOULD BE -- THIS
WOULD BE A VERY FUNNY MOVIE IF
THIS WERE ABOUT SOMETHING FAKE.
IT WOULD BE GREAT IF THIS WAS
FAKE, BUT THIS IS US NOW, AND
APPARENTLY, THIS IS SOMETHING
FROM WHICH NOBODY, LIKE, WAKES
UP AND WE MOVE ON.
THIS IS JUST WHAT WE HAVE TO DO
ON A DAY-TO-DAY BASIS AND FIGURE
OUT HOW TO DEAL WITH IT MOVING