THIS AFTERNOON ON THE SOUTH
LAWN, TRUMP WAS ASKED ABOUT THE TWEETS, AND HE HAD A SIMPLE
MESSAGE: "WOMEN BE COMPLAININ'."
>> THEY'RE VERY UNHAPPY.
I'M WATCHING THEM.
ALL THEY DO IS COMPLAIN.
NEVER HAPPY.
I SEE THEM COMPLAINING.
THEY'RE COMPLAINING CONSTANTLY.
>> STEPHEN: (AS TRUMP) "AND IT'S NOT JUST THEM.
IT'S LIKE WHEREVER I GO YOUNG WOMEN COMPLAIN.
IT'S ALL, 'I'M UNCOMFORTABLE,' 'DON'T TOUCH ME,' 'JUST BECAUSE
I'M YOUR WIFE DOESN'T MEAN I HAVE TO LOVE YOU.'"
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THERE'S THE DOOR.
THEN TRUMP DOUBLED DOWN ON HIS MESSAGE:
>> VERY SIMPLY, YOU CAN LEAVE.
YOU CAN LEAVE RIGHT NOW.
COME BACK IF YOU WANT, DON'T COME BACK, THAT'S OKAY, TOO.
BUT IF YOU'RE NOT HAPPY, YOU CAN LEAVE.
>> STEPHEN: OH, SHUT UP.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO RIFF )
I'M SORRY.
MY MOM TOLD ME NOT TO SAY THAT.
MY MOM TOLD ME NOT TO SAY THAT, BUT, COME ON!
NOBODY COMPLAINS ABOUT AMERICA MORE THAN YOU DO, YOU CRANKY OLD
NUT LID.
( LAUGHTER ) EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE HAS BEEN
HANDED TO YOU, AND YET, EVERY OTHER WORD OUT OF YOUR MOUTH IS
A TANTRUM THAT WOULD GET A TODDLER DRAGGED OUT OF A BALL
PIT.
YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT EVERYTHING.
YOU DON'T LIKE BETTE MIDLER.
WHAT DOESN'T LIKE BETTE MIDLER?
THE DIVINE MISS M.
THE WIND BENEATH OUR WINGS.
( PIANO RIFF ) ( APPLAUSE )
IF SOMEONE'S LEAVING THE COUNTRY, IT SHOULD BE YOU.
AND IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A NEW HOME, MIGHT I SUGGEST YOU
GO TO HELL?
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( AUDIENCE CHANTING )
>> Stephen: THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
THEN TRUMP WAS ASKED DIRECTLY ABOUT THE INHERENT RACISM OF HIS
COMMENTS.
>> DOES IT CONCERN YOU THAT MANY PEOPLE SAW YOUR TWEET AS RACIST,
AND THAT WHITE NATIONALIST GROUPS ARE FINDING COMMON CAUSE
WITH YOU ON THAT POINT?
>> IT DOESN'T CONCERN ME BECAUSE MANY PEOPLE AGREE WITH ME.
>> STEPHEN: YES, MANY PEOPLE AGREE WITH YOU LIKE THE
WHITE NATIONALISTS!
TRUMP ALSO RESPONDED TO NANCY PELOSI'S TWEET ABOUT HIS
COMMENTS, BY PURPOSELY MISUNDERSTANDING HER TWEET ABOUT
HIS COMMENTS.
>> SPEAKER PELOSI SAID YOU WANT TO MAKE AMERICA WHITE AGAIN.
IS THAT TRUE?
>> WELL, THAT'S A VERY RACIST STATEMENT SOMEBODY THAT WOULD
SAY THAT.
SPEAKER PELOSI SAID, "MAKE AMERICA WHITE AGAIN."
LET ME TELL YOU THAT'S A VERY RACIST STATEMENT.
I'M SURPRISED SHE'D SAY THAT.
>> STEPHEN: (AS TRUMP) "IT'S VERY RACIST.
I'M SURPRISED SHE WOULD SAY THAT BECAUSE THAT IS COPYRIGHT
INFRINGEMENT AND SHE WILL BE HEARING FROM MY LAWYERS."
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) "THAT'S MY GIG.
NEVER RUB ANOTHER MAN'S RHUBARB.
>> Jon: OH, WOW.
>> Stephen: AND TO MAKE SURE THAT TRUMP GOT
HIS RACIST SLANDERS RIGHT, HE BROUGHT NOTES WHICH HE
UNDERLINED IN SHARPIE.
AND HE HAND-WROTE THE WORDS "AL-QAEDA" AS "ALCAIDA"
( LAUGHTER ) HE SPELLED IT PHONETICALLY, OR
AS HE WOULD WRITE IT, "FONETIKALY."
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
( CHEERING ) ( PIANO RIFF )
TRUMP'S TWEETS HAVE BEEN UNIVERSALLY CONDEMNED BY THE
DEMOCRATS.
AND HERE'S THE REPUBLICAN RESPONSE.
(CRICKETS) (COYOTE HOWL)
( SHHHHHH... ) >> STEPHEN: MITCH MCCONNELL
LOOKS GOOD.
( PIANO RIFF ) ( APPLAUSE )
DOES.
GOT A BEAUTIFUL TAN.
BEAUTIFUL TAN.
HERE'S THE THING -- ONE REPUBLICAN WAS BOLD ENOUGH
TO STEP FORWARD, SOUTH CAROLINA SENATOR AND WORLD'S ANGRIEST
SNEEZER, LINDSEY GRAHAM.
HE HAD HARSH WORDS FOR THE PRESIDENT:
>> HE'S A RACEBAITING, XENOPHOBIC, RELIGIOUS BIGOT.
>> STEPHEN: WHERE DID HE FIND THE COURAGE?
OH, THAT WAS THREE YEARS AGO BEFORE HE WAS SPAYED AND/OR
NEUTERED.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Jon: OH!
>> Stephen: BECAUSE -- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
BECAUSE -- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( PIANO RIFF ) -- BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT HE SAID
TODAY: >> WE ALL KNOW THAT A.O.C. AND
THIS CROWD ARE A BUNCH OF COMMUNISTS!
THEY HATE ISRAEL, THEY HATE OUR OWN COUNTRY.
THEY'RE ANTI-SEMITIC.
THEY'RE ANTI-AMERICA.
THEY'RE SOCIALISTS.
THEY'RE ANTI-SEMITIC.
THEY STAND FOR ALL THE THINGS THAT MOST AMERICANS DISAGREE
WITH.
>> STEPHEN: HE'S JUST LISTING EVERY NEGATIVE QUALITY HE CAN
THINK OF.
(AS GRAHAM) "THEY'RE COMMUNISTS.
THEY'RE SOCIALISTS.
THEY'RE STREET MIMES.
THEY'RE ANTI-AMERICA.
THEY'RE PRO-CHLAMYDIA.
THEY HATE ISRAEL, AND THEY WANT TO OUTLAW PIZZA.
THEY THINK THE THIRD 'MATRIX' MOVIE WAS THE BEST ONE, AND
THEY SAY THAT AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP CAN WORK, BUT TRUST
ME, THAT ROAD ENDS IN HEARTBREAK."