AS YOU KNOW, I DON'T DO THIS SHOW ALONE.
I'VE GOT A LOT OF GREAT WRITERS AND PRODUCERS AND CREW MEMBERS
RIGHT HERE IN THE THEATER.
THEY DO THE SHOW WITH ME.
BUT I DON'T ALWAYS HAVE TIME TO MEET WITH EVERYBODY DURING THE
DAY, SO SOMETIMES I HAVE TO HAVE MY MEETINGS RIGHT HERE ON THE
SHOW.
AND IT'S TIME FOR ANOTHER ONE.
PLEASE WELCOME MY ACTUAL SUPERVISING PRODUCER, LIZ LEVIN
COME ON OUT.
SAY HI TO LIZ, EVERYBODY HEY.
>> HI.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S UP?
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
>> IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
FOR THE PEOPLE OUT THERE, BESIDES A SUPERVISING PRODUCER
YOU ARE WHAT'S CALLED A SEGMENT PRODUCER.
WHAT DO YOU NEED TON FROM ME?
>> SOMETIMES WHAT HAPPENS IS WE GET VERY EXCITED ABOUT AN IDEA.
>> Stephen: RIGHT, AND PROJECTS GET LAUNCHED THAT HAVE
PROPS, AND OTHER THINGS THAT DON'T ACTUALLY THEN GET USED.
AND ONE OF THE THINGS I'M RESPONSIBLE FOR IS KEEPING
ACCOUNT OF HOW MUCH MONEY WE SPEND.
>> Stephen: RIGHT, RIGHT.
>> AND SO SOMETIMES -- >> BECAUSE WE BUY MORE THAN WE
NEED.
>> INDEED, AND THAT HAS TO BE ACCOUNTED FOR.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
>> SO I WAS GOING TO RUN SOME THINGS BY YOU THAT DIDN'T GET
USED.
>> Stephen: LET'S DO IT.
WHAT IS IT?
>> SO THIS IS A GIANT ADULT TRICYCLE.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: OKAY, THIS IS A
GIANT ADULT TRICYCLE.
THERE'S NOTHING TO SCALE BUT THIS IS A MAN-SIZED TRICYCLE
HERE.
>> IT'S VERY BIG.
>> Stephen: A MAN-SIZED TRICYCLE.
I DO REMEMBER-- I DO REMEMBER BUYING THIS.
>> SO YOU APPROVED THIS.
>> Stephen: I DID APPROVE THIS.
>> AND WHAT WAS IT FOR.
>> Stephen: WHAT WAS IT FOR?
WELL, SOMEONE SAID TO ME, "I CAN GET YOU A MAN-SIZED TRICYCLE."
AND I SAID, "I'M SURE WE'LL THINK OF SOMETHING FUNNY TO DO
WITH IT."
OH, I KNOW WHAT IT WAS!
SOMEONE HAD GIVEN ME A SWEATER THAT THE SAME SWEATER THAT DANNY
WEARS IN "THE SHINING" AND IT'S GOT APOLLO ROCKET ON IT, AND I
SAID I'LL BE DANNY FROM "THE SHINING" RIDING AROUND OFFICES
AND WE'LL HAVE BLOOD POURING OUT AND THAT SEEMED MESSY SO WE
NEVER DID IT.
HOW MUCH DID THAT COST?
$325.
OKAY, WHAT ELSE, WHAT ELSE HAVE WE GOT?
SHOW ME THAT.
GIVE ME THAT.
>> YOU WANT THIS ONE.
>> Stephen: SEE, I GOT THIS SWEATER.
I GOT THIS SWEATER FOR CHRISTMAS.
AND I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN TO RIDE ON THIS TRICYCLE IN THAT
SWEATER.
DIDN'T HAPPEN.
>> IT DIDN'T HAPPEN SO THIS IS-- WE HAVE A-- THIS IS A HUMAN CORN
HYBRID COSTUME.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: NEVER BEEN USED.
>> SO WHO APPROVED THAT?
>> Stephen: I APPROVED THIS.
>> AND WHAT WAS THAT FOR?
>> Stephen: THAT WAS-- HOLD ON.
THIS WAS I THINK DURING THE IOWA CAUCUS I WAS GOING TO
INTERVIEW-- AM I CORRECT-- I WAS GOING TO INTERVIEW SOMEBODY-- I
WAS GOING TO INTERVIEW AN EAR OF CORN.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: THAT HAD BEEN GENETICALLY MODIFIED BY MONSANTO
TO BE HALF-HUMAN, HALF-CORN.
>> IT'S A GREAT IDEA.
>> Stephen: ASK IT WHO IT WAS VOTING FOR IN THE CAUCUS AND IT
JUST KEPT SCREAMING, "KILL ME, KILL ME."
DID I GET IT RIGHT.
>> I THINK YOU GOT IT RIGHT.
>> Stephen: WE NEVER USED IT.
HOW MUCH?
$560.
GOT IT.
WHAT ELSE HAVE WE GOT?
>> WE HAVE LIFE-SIZED ACTION FIGURES.
>> Stephen: THESE ARE ACTUALLY LIKE EIGHT FEET TALL ACTION
FIGURE BOXES.
ONE SAYS J.J. ABRAMS.
ONE SAYS HARRISON FORD.
BECAUSE WE WERE GOING TO HAVE J.J. ABRAMS AND HARRISON FORD
LIE INSIDE OF THEM AS IF THEY WERE ACTION FIGURES?
>> RIGHT.
ON THE GREEN SCREEN AND A LITTLE GIRL COMES OUT.
>> Stephen: A LITTLE GIRL COMES OUT AND OPENS THEMMUM LIEB
IT'S CHRISTMAS MORNING AND SHE'S GOING TO SAY, "IT'S A HAN SOLO
ACTION FIGURE."
AND HARRISON FORD WAS GOING TO GO, "ACTUALLY, IT'S A HARRISON
FORD ACTION FIGURE.
I'VE DONE MORE THAN HAN SOLO."
AND "CREATOR FELIFT."
>> SO THEN -- >> HARRISON FORD'S SAYS, "AS
SEEN IN "WORKING GIRL."
OKAY, THESE WERE FUNNY, THESE WERE FUNNY.
BUT WE NEVER DID IT.
HOW MUCH DID THAT COST?
( BLEEP ).
>> THAT WAS.
>> Stephen: I'M NOT SURE I WANT TO SAY THAT OUT LOUD.
>> THIS IS ACTUALLY A LITTLE BIT OF A GOOD EXAMPLE OF SOMETIMES
WE HAVE THE SAME GOAL.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> WE WANT TO DO REALLY FUNNY STUFF.
>> Stephen: THE BEST WE CAN DO.
>> EXACTLY RIGHT.
BUT I ALSO HAVE TO THINK OF WHAT'S HUMANLY POSSIBLE TO
ACHIEVE.
( LAUGHTER ) AND THAT DOESN'T NECESSARILY
FACTOR IN FOR YOU QUITE AS MUCH ALWAYS.
>> Stephen: NO, IT DOESN'T.
I GENERALLY DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT.
>> NOT QUITE-- NOT NECESSARILY QUITE AS MUCH AS THE REST OF THE
PEOPLE.
>> Stephen: RIGHT, RIGHT.
>> SO THE DAY BEFORE WE WERE GOING TO SHOOT WITH HARRISON
FORD AND J.J. ABRAMS YOU ACTUALLY CAME UP WITH A MORE
COMPLICATED CONCEPT THAT HAD SIX DIFFERENT CAMERA SETUPS AND FOUR
WARDROBE CHANGES, ONE OF WHICH INCLUDED -- BECAUSE YOU WERE
GOING TO CARRY HARRISON FORD AROUND ON YOUR BACK LIKE UPPER A
TON-TON.
>> Stephen: I WAS A TON-TON.
SO WE MADE A BLUE SCREEN SUIT WITH THE PING-PONG BALLS ON IT.
>> AND TON-TON YOU IN LATER.
>> Stephen: AND WE WERE GOING TO PUT THE TON-TON IN LATER.
>> WE MADE TWO OF THOSE.
THERE WAS ONE FOR HARRISON.
>> Stephen: WE WERE GOING TO HAVE HARRISON FORD WEAR ONE OF
THESE?
>> SOMETHING ABOUT RECREATING THE CREDO BAR SCENE.
>> Stephen: SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
I DON'T KNOW.
I'M SO SURPRISED HE DIDN'T WANT TO DO THAT.
SO THIS IS THE TOTAL, THIS IS THE TOTAL.
OH, WOW.
AND YOU HAD TWO OF THOSE.
THOSE ARE EXPENSIVE AND WE HAD TO DO TWO OF THOSE.
>> RIGHT.
>> Stephen: OKAY, SO WHAT?
( LAUGHTER ).
>> WELL, SO, I MEAN, I THINK IT WOULD BE NICE IF WE HAD A
SOLUTION AND COULD USE ALL THESE --
>> I UNDERSTAND.
OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO HAS TO JUSTIFY IT NOT ME.
>> YES, OF COURSE.
I HAVE TO GO BACK AND EXPLAIN WHERE ALL THIS MONEY IS GOING.
>> Stephen: TO THE MONEY PEOPLE WHY YOU SPENT THAT MUCH
MONEY WITH NOTHING TO SHOW FOR IT.
>> NOT A LOT.
>> Stephen: OKAY, I WANT TO HELP YOU OUT.
SOMETHING HAS BEEN PREPARED BACKSTAGE TO GET YOU OUT OF A
DITCH HERE.
SO RIGHT NOW, EVIDENTLY, WE'RE GOING TO SEAMLESSLY
INTEGRATE ALL OF THEM INTO OUR FIRST INSTALLMENT OF
"THE LATE SHOW UNUSED PROP THEATRE."
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> EPISODE ONE, AN HISTORICAL
REENACTMENT OF THE PILGRIMS LANDING ON PLYMOUTH ROCK.
( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> BEHOLD, FELLOW PILGRIMS, PLYMOUTH ROCK.
THERE WE WILL FIND RELIGOUS FREEDOM.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> WELCOME TO THE NEW WORLD, FRIEND.
>> GOOD DAY, POCAHANTUS.
I AM CORN.
OR AS YOU CALL ME, MAIZE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: I HOPE YOU ENJOYED
THAT, BECAUSE CBS IS GOING TO SHOW IT EVERY THANKSGIVING FOR
THE NEXT 30 YEARS.