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Potato chips come from potatoes :0
You can make them by
smashing a potato against the wall,
or by smashing a potato against a potato.
You can roll a potato across your cutting board,
or if you're really stuck, you can buy them in a bag.
If you're making these in the middle of the night,
you can put your noise-canceling headphones
on the chip bag to keep it quiet. [bag wrinkling stops]
There's many kinds of chocolate you can use.
I'm using semi-sweet baking chocolate,
which is named that because
it has similar sweetness to a semi-truck.
[rumbles]
[honking]
To melt the chocolate you can make a double boiler
by putting one pan or heat-safe bowl
inside another pan with some heated water.
This keeps your chocolate from burning
because your water will only heat up to
around a thousand degrees, or whatever,
which is less than the burning point of chocolate,
which is like two thousand degrees, or something.
Keep it to a low simmer,
because if any water gets in the chocolate you'll ruin it.
If you have extra delicate chocolate,
feel free to make a quadruple boiler instead
or you can just heat your chocolate on low
while continually stirring because you're a smart person
who pays attention, and you don't need a bowl of water
regulating the temperature of your life
You can also melt chocolate with a hairdryer
while simultaneously getting ready for a hot date.
Or you can live in a hot as f**k apartment
and put the chocolate in a bowl
and watch it melt away along with all your ambition.
While you're at it put your bed in a double boiler
to keep the temperature down.
Once the chocolate's melted,
you can go ahead and dip those chips.
Feel free to use a pair of tweezers
if you don't want to contaminate them,
or use a pair of pliers if you wanna
take the sensitive touch challenge
Certified Sensitive.
Yesss
Feel free to load your chips up with chocolate
or do a light graze if you prefer boring things.
You can also work that rim,
or if you have an extra sensitive palette,
just waft chocolate fumes towards the chip.
Lay them on some parchment paper
then put them in the heat remover to cool and harden
or if you want to be professional about it,
hang them from your
heat subtractor clothesline with care.
But if you want to do this the easiest way possible,
build a rube goldberg machine
to dip the chips automatically.
Only do that if you wanna really save a lot of time.
Dipping strawberries in chocolate
has its own set of challenges
mainly in the grip department.
You might think you can just grab the stem and dip
but many stems aren't strong enough.
In which case you should give your strawberries
a set of barbells to do some strength training.
But a better approach is to get it in the chocolate
then use your strawberry harpoon to retrieve it.
Now throw those strawberries on your
temperature reducer drying rack
until they cool and harden.
Power stone crush some almonds with love
and wangjangle them into some chocolate to create
choco-almond clusters.
While you're at it power stone crush
some espresso beans to create
almond coffee chocolate clusters.
Use a chopstick to make them into a specific shape,
such as the shape of a clump.
Those are some nice looking cluster stuffed nuts.
If you don't have a lot of room in your fridge
you can cut your parchment paper to a size that will fit
or put them inside an arctic ice castle.
Then combine a chocolate dipped chip,
strawberry and coffee nut stuffed cluster to make a
choco-[a]lmond coffee 'tato berry crunch surprise.
The surprise is that you already know what's inside it.
And then bask in the knowledge that
you'll never be able to enjoy
any of these things without chocolate again.
Faaantastic.
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I have no idea why I'm pouring this coffee into the bowl.