(fire crackles)
- (whispers) Action.
- Today, on
- [Both] Good Day Westeros!
(upbeat brass music)
- A dragon's fireball has just hit King's Landing.
Literally this time.
- Sure did, Bob.
It's a miracle we even survived.
There are so many people dead.
- Who's even left?
Who's running our cameras?
- Is that Arya Stark holding the boom?
- I think it is.
She is everywhere.
You know, I saw her running around
in the streets during the melee,
and I was sure she blew up four times.
But then at the end, there she was riding off
into the night on a pale horse like Johnny Cash.
- Beautiful.
Say, how did that dragon fire bomb shelter
work out for you, Bob?
- Pretty good, until the surrender bells rang,
and then like any other logical human being,
I thought, "Oh, swell, battle's over.
Let's see what's going on out here."
Like a real nudnik, I opened the doors to peek outside
and that's when Drogon soared overhead
in all his awful glory and torched my house.
- Oh, boy!
Is your family okay?
- Family's fine.
They were at their grandmother's place in Storm's End.
They had Chipotle, and they watched "Pete's Dragon" on DVD.
- Ironic!
- It sure is, Proma.
"Pete's Dragon" was my favorite movie.
- That tracks.
- But you know who I did see while I was out there
screaming my face off trying not to get burnt to a crisp?
- Who?
- NFL All-Star quarterback, Aaron Rodgers.
Unlike Ed Sheeran, who is never welcome here again.
- I do think we saw a bit much of Rodgers, though.
I would have liked to keep up with the key players
in this siege.
I want more eyes on, I don't know, the genocidal dragon-rider
flying over our city and burning everybody to the ground.
- Speaking of which, time to see what's happening
on the streets of King's Landing.
Let's check in with Direwolf Blitzer.
Direwolf, what's the vibe like out there?
(fire crackles)
- Thanks, Bob.
As you can see, there is very little left
of the King's Landing, as we know it.
Where I'm standing, there used to be homes,
playgrounds, landmark buildings.
Now, we've got a Starbucks coming in
with an Urban Outfitters and a Taco Bell Cantina.
It's gonna be the change this neighborhood
has always needed.
- How are there already businesses popping up?
- This is prime real estate, Bob-o.
You can't expect these companies to just sit
on their hands and not take advantage of a good
investment opportunity.
- I mean, I think we can expect that, actually.
- Direwolf, thousands of people perished in the flames
last night, most of them after the bells rang.
Is there any justice we can expect for that?
- If you don't see a 30 percent increase
in property value as justice,
I don't know what is, Proma.
- Okay, thanks, Direwolf Blitzer.
Hope your stocks go way up.
- Up in smoke.
Everything else certainly has.
(laughs)
- I feel like Daenerys Targaryen's introduction
to the city has had some problems.
She showed up a week ago, just like this,
but the Iron Fleet destroyed her army
and killed one of her dragons.
- Sure did.
- This week, she showed up, and she (bleep) it up!
You kill one advisor, and bam!
Fireballs!
- Seems like she could have done more to make
a good impression on the people of King's Landing.
Sure feels like we could have maybe built up
to this a little more elegantly.
Kind of a soft launch.
- Like what?
Like, not burning everybody to the ground?
- Exactly!
I have zero friends left.
- What friends, Bob?
- Well, it doesn't matter now, does it?
- To get an outside perspective, let's check in
with our sister show, "Good Day Essos!"
Let's see where she started her empire.
- Welcome back to "Good Day Essos!"
If you're just joining us, we're discussing our usual
topic of "Where is our queen?"
- She showed up, liberated everyone,
and then took off again.
- We just wanna know where she went and what we're
supposed to do now.
- I'm sure she's out liberating another city
and spreading her boundless love to another grateful people.
- I bet you're right.
- If you're watching this, Mhysa, we "mhysa" you.
(laughs)
- That's adorable.
(guitar chord plays)
- Well, that's just sad.
(high-pitched sigh, slurping of drink)
- Daenerys was supposed to be the answer, right?
Like a new type of leader,
but she's just more of the same.
- It's still unclear as to whether she's broken the wheel
or just added a bunch of spikes to the wheel.
Made it spin faster and shoot flames.
Thank you.
(spits out drink)
What is that?
Tastes like pure gasoline.
- Mm, that makes sense, I found it in my garage.
- You should probably stop drinking that.
- Never!
Now that the dragon queen has burned us all,
what does that mean for Jon Snow,
AKA Aegon Targaryen?
- Is there any chance, based on his relationship
with the queen, that maybe he could wind up ruling?
- After last night, I don't see her wanting to rule
alongside anyone.
Absolute power, and "absolute power corrupts absolutely."
- Ooh, look at you getting all Tolkien on us.
- Well, that is kind of what all this is based on.
I think that anyone who wants the throne
is inherently power-hungry and therefore,
would not be a just ruler.
- What about Jon Snow?
- He doesn't want it!
He doesn't want the job.
He's never wanted any job he's ever gotten.
Stop giving him jobs.
- He does just keep kinda failing upwards, doesn't he?
- All I'm saying is that none of this happened
when Tyrion Lannister and Sansa Stark were married
in King's Landing.
- Things were a lot cooler then.
- We support The Queen.
(stammers)
Stormborn
- Breaker of Chains, the Unburnt
- [Both] Mother of dragons
- Dragons
- Jinx
- There's more titles, I feel like.
Is she a lawyer?
- She's an esquire, yeah.
So, if you need newscasters, our resumes are on LinkedIn.
Used to have connections until everybody
in my bridge club was burnt alive last week.
- And if you want secrets about Bob in exchange
for my loyalty, I have them.
- What?
Amazing.
'Til next time, hopefully.
The night is dark
- And full of terrors!
(upbeat brass music)