It's hard for me whenever I see people who are very ashamed of their suicidal
attempts. I don't feel it as a moment of weakness I don't feel it as I'm not
ashamed of it. I don't tell and didn't feel like I had a choice at the moment.
It— I really didn't. I had a good life in Mexico. I went to law school and I got a
job in a very nice law firm. And then it just continued getting better and I
started getting into this routine where I was being very, very active and
then all the sudden I didn't really need to sleep. I stayed awake for like
40-something hours. And everyone thinks highly of you because you're like over
performing in almost every way. I didn't think there was anything wrong with it.
There was but I didn't think so at the time.
I'm… Every, everything got out of control
It was nine very fun months, and then the low has been five very intense years. I
was working in a cool job and I got engaged to my girlfriend Kathryn… and
everything I could think the entire day was how do I kill myself? And I talked with
my best friend and, and I said like I need to, I need to die, I need to do this.
[Music] And my friend said listen, like I as much
as I love you I will help you if that's what you need.
But breakup first. Like don't do this to Kathryn. So I said I'd seek help from
the best psychiatrist I’ve ever me. Dr. Sinyor in Sunnybrook.
And the first time he saw me he said you have to stay here. Like you cannot go
home. He suggested to get hospitalized and get electro convulsive
therapy. [Music]
My girlfriend has supported me to go to the hospital one month before our wedding,
they put you to sleep they sedate you and they put electrodes in your
brain and then you have seizures and then you wake up and you feel like a
train hit you. But it, it changed me. It really changed me, like right away.
[Music] And I left the hospital feeling like a
different man with my medications more under control and a month later I
got married. [Music]
And everyone supported me through it. Not a lot of women would not hate to marry you
if you don't have a job and you’re in the hospital one month before your wedding.
[Music][Television playing]
She supported me through the very very worst times and she knew from the
beginning what she was getting into.
Kathryn and my mom have been the most supportive people throughout this entire
long long process. So they showed me that I could have fun and that I could have
order and some kind of routine. And it's nice to have that kind of support.
[Music] I would never consider the idea that
I did it on my own. No one in their right mind would choose to act this way or choose
to struggle this way. It's not a choice. [Music]
It's, it's not a death sentence.
It feels like one at times but it's not a death sentence.
[Music] It's not our fault.