As we speak, Republicans in Congress are hammering out
the final version of their tax plan,
and, uh, this plan has something for everybody.
If you're a corporation, you get a massive tax cut.
Uh, if you're rich, you get to give your kids
twice as much of your estate tax-free.
If you're poor, you get the side of KFC green beans
that Trump didn't want.
Now, Republicans may be selling the plan,
but the architect behind it is treasury secretary
and human robot, Steve Mnuchin.
This is gonna be the biggest tax cut
and the largest tax reform in the history of our country.
This is a big cut for the middle income,
and it's gonna create jobs and growth.
The changes to the income tax system
are meant to create middle income tax cuts
and also make corporate and business tax competitive
so we can bring back tons and tons of jobs
and capital to this country.
"That's right.
"Some people can use the money to buy a new car.
Other people can buy hinges to open their jaws."
So, everything Mnuchin said there sounds really cool.
The economy growing, people having more money--
it seems like a nice idea.
But the problem was bipartisan experts said
the tax cuts he was describing
were going to significantly add to America's debt.
But Mnuchin said, "Mnuh-uh."
Not only will this tax plan pay for itself,
but it will pay down debt.
The numbers will be completely transparent.
It will be scored by the Treasury Department.
We have over 100 people working on this.
We have over 100 people in the tax group in the modeling area.
-Yeah. -And, uh, they're-they're working around the clock
on running scenarios for us.
Oh, actually, I see what Mnuchin is saying here.
He's saying that those other people
may have their opinions, but, you see,
numbers are open to interpretation, right?
It just depends on who's looking at them.
For instance, when you read this number,
you see 55,378,008.
But I, a mathematical scholar, see "boobless."
-Right? -(laughter)
-And that's... -(applause)
That's basically what Steve Mnuchin was doing.
He was hoping his people could turn this tax plan's true cost
into "boobless," which it turns out, was not going to be easy,
because while Mnuchin's team was working on "boobless,"
Congress's non-partisan Joint Committee on Taxation found
that the tax plan would actually add a trillion dollars
to America's debt.
Yeah, and a trillion more dollars of debt
has most Americans sounding like DMX at his tax evasion trial.
You know, it's just Americans going, "Hey, yo!
"How we gonna pay for this?
Oh! Oh! How we gonna pay?"
(whooping)
(laughter)
Which, by the way, can we acknowledge
how weird it is that DMX was so good
that we never, ever stopped and went,
"This guy is barking in his songs."
(laughter)
Like, not even a moment we were, like, "That's weird."
He was literally bark... (imitates barking)
And we're, like, "Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's totally normal."
Do you know how good you have to be at rap
for people to ignore the fact
that you are barking like a dog in your song?
Like, I wish he would just push it,
and we see how far he can take it, you know?
Just, like, start meowing like a cat in his song.
"Hey, yo, all my dudes, all my people, all my meow.
And now, I'm in the hood, and the what what."
Just, like, crying like a baby, as well.
Just go crazy with it, DMX.
"And all the people know, and never see DMX."
(crying like baby): Waah!
"And all those people never go."
(barking)
(laughter)
Anyway, anyway, sorry.
-Yesterday... -(laughter)
Yesterday, after months
of hundreds of Mnuchin's people worked around the clock,
lockjaw finally released his analysis...
sort of.
WOMAN: After months of stalling,
the Treasury Department releases a one-page--
I'm putting it in quotes-- "analysis on tax reform."
MAN: They came out with one page.
This analysis-- I don't even think it's 500 words.
Unbelievable!
This is the biggest tax plan in 30 years.
You are the head of the Treasury Department,
and after hundreds of employees put in months of work,
you give Americans an analysis shorter than a Twitter thread?
Really?
It would almost be more respectful
if that page just said "Go (bleep) yourselves."
(laughter)
And you would think that if you only had to do one page of work,
that page would be rock solid, right?
'Cause it's just one page.
But as it turns out, Mnuchin was not even "Mnuh-close."
What this one-page finding from the Treasury does,
other than really confuse the debate, I'm afraid,
is it just claims the answer.
It says, we're going to assume 2.9% growth,
and then they back into how to get it there.
No, this is way more optimistic
than just about every other estimate that's out there.
He just made up a number. That's what he did.
"Yeah, it's gonna grow at 2.9%."
"Where did you get that from?"
"Mm, nowhere. I don't know."
He just made it up?
Mm, (bleep). What are you doing?