Okay, mail call, boys. Let's see who we have.
Toothy.
Four Eyes.
Lefty.
Fats.
Fingers.
Einstein.
Gretch, Chuckles, Bingo, Blammey, Wheels, Boogey,
Red, Trip, Wings, Skeeter, Stinky.
Thanks, SpongeBob!
No problem, guys.
I got to explain.
Explain what? That you, Squidward Tentacles voted
most likely to suck eggs in high school
are trying to pass off a lousy burger stand
as a five star... restaurant?
Hommina, hommina, hommina, hommina, hommina,
hommina, hommina, hommina, hommina, hommina,
hommina, hommina, hommina, hommina, hommina.
Table for Hommina? I can seat you immediately!
[whispering] How did you do all this?
It was easy, once I cleared my mind.
But what about Krabs and Patrick?
Taken care of.
[grunting]
Right this way, please.
Good evening, sir. From our menu tonight,
might I recommend the Krabby Newburg?
We take the finest cuts of aged, imported kelp,
stuff them with herbs from our garden,
wrap them in parchment with our award-winning
shallot tapenade, slow-roast them for six hours
in our wood-fired, clay-filled oven, or kiva,
and serve them with a garnish of wilted coral
on a mahogany plank.
Mmm... this is fantastic!
Thank you, sir.
[groaning]
SpongeBob! Squidward! Let's move it, boys.
Get those power shakes out and those heart rates up.
[panting]
[grunting]
[screaming]
Sorry!
[panting]
[grunting]
[laughing]
[groaning]
Horrible sustenance.
Let's get out of here!
Pardon my reach.
[grunting]
Go on without me.
No, wait, don't.
Squidward, I know Larry means well,
but he's messing up the Krusty Krab.
This used to be a shrine to the delicious, Krabby Patty.
Now it's just a stinky gym.
Feel... the... burn!
[grunting]
[music playing]
Ahoy, there, mateys. Welcome to the Krabby O'Mondays.
It's my birthday.
Can I start you off with--
Will you sing the Krabby Monday's
birthday song to my special little man?
Happy, happy birthday.
[sighing] Happy, happy--
Uh, Squidward. Can I talk to you for a second?
What's our motto here at Krabby O'Mondays?
Sincere service with a smile.
Well, yes, but with the Krabby O'Mondays spirit.
Now, Squidward, you wouldn't want
to have to talk to human resources.
Would you?
So, what's our motto again?
Uh. Uh.
Sincere service with a smile.
Now you're getting it.
This tastes nice.
Ow. Curses, foiled again. Ow.
You turned the Krusty Krab into some kind of museum?
That's right, me boy. It's all history now,
but you, you have the most important job of all.
You give tours
and sell tchotchkes in the gift shop.
Yeah, but what if someone wants a Krabby Patty?
We've got plenty of Krabby Patties
right here in the freezer.
Ding.
You see?
Customers at the museum can cook the patties themselves,
like this. [humming]
Yeah, it's so convenient, see? [chuckles]
Finally, a cool place for teens to just, you know, hang out.
Pearl, you're a genius.
All these young, hip, new customers.
Phooey on Squidward. He can't keep up with the times.
You're a true visionary, Pearl.
Thank you, SpongeBob. I do have 20/20 vision.
Well, hip people have to eat too.
Back to the grill.
The customers may be hot, but my grill is hotter.
[sizzling sound]
SpongeBob, order up.
Two sal lads. Never heard of it.
I've got to stay hip.
I don't want to end up like silly old Squidward.
But what in the name of Davy Jones's locker
is a sal lad?
Here you go, two sal lads.
Ew, gross. Those aren't salads.
Take those back. Remove the bun, the patty and the condiments.
But that leaves just lettuce and tomato.
Exactly.
All right.
Okay. No buns.
That's hip. No, Patty's. Happening.
Oh, yeah, that's definitely the coolest meal I ever saw.
This is so cool.
Two salads.
Whee! Whoa!
This is fantastic.
The local hockey team is paying me to practice here.
Coming through!
Hi, Patrick!
Hi, SpongeBob.
[whistling]
Where'd the puck go?
Holy shrimp! Plankton!
I did it. I finally got a Krabby Patty.
Not quite, Plankton.
You'll have to get past me first.
There's the puck. That little square guy has it.
Get 'em.
[yelps]
[laughing] Yes!
Whoa oh oh!
You're mine now, Plankton!
You won't get away with this, Plankton.
Hey, SpongeBob. Long time, no see.
What you've been up to? How was your weekend?
Oh, my weekend was fabulous. Thank you for asking.
Holy Krabby Patties! A frozen cephalopod.
[screaming]
I'll be out of here in no time.
Greetings, primitive.
Sp... SpongeBob, is that you?
SpongeBob? No, I am SpongeTron. Welcome to the future.
- What? - Welcome to the future.
Uh. The future? Huh?
Oh, okay, what's going on here?
Why is everything... chrome?
Everything is chrome in the future.
Oh, my. Impossible. He's lying.
He's right.
Of course, I'm right, Squidward. Just ask my clones.
SpongeTrons X, Y and Z.
Are the other letters of the alphabet involved here?
Sure, all 486 of 'em.
Future.
Thanks.
Now, listen, all of you. I don't belong here.
This is all a horrible mistake.
Please, we've got to do something.
Jellyfishing.
Somebody say "Jellyfishing"?
Hi, PatTron.
Just listen to me. I'm not supposed to be here.
I got to get home to my own time period.
I gotta go!
Well, why didn't you just ask.
The time machine is down the hall to the left.
[laughing]
Oops. Oh, yeah, that one's that can opener.
Try the one on the right.
Well, I wouldn't have chosen this interior.
Oh, what's this?
Well, if SpongeBob exists in the future,
I'd better go to the past.
[beeping]
[gasping]
[screaming]
Say, this Krabby Patty tastes even better than usual.
What's in it, SpongeBob?
Well, it's the same old patty
except now each one has a pinch of chum added.
A pinch of ch- ch- chum?
Good work, me boyo.
Boyo?
[crying]
Isn't it beautiful?
Where are all the new hotel employees?
[gasping] Me first hotel guest.
Watch me reel 'em in.
Welcome to the Krusty Towers, where our motto is...
Ah, that's great. I'd like a Double Krabby Patty
with no onions and extra pickles.
If you want a Krabby Patty,
you'll have to rent a room and order room service.
Ooh, I've only got an hour for lunch.
[sighing]
Oh, ya reeled that one in like a pro.
Okay, Squidward, you run the front desk.
I'd like a Krabby Patty, please.
This is a hotel, now.
If you want a Krabby Patty,
you'll have to get a room and order room service.
Okay, one Krabby Patty and one room with cheese.
Oh, I can get cheese on the Krabby Patty too?
Patrick, you only live 400 yards away.
Why do you want to check into a hotel?
Sometimes I just need to get away from it all.
Wow, this hotel has everything.
Give me that. Sign the register.
I didn't know there'd be a test. I didn't study.
Patrick, all you have to do is write your name.
Oh, okay.
Do you mind?
Don't look!
And done.
Close enough. Here's your room key.
I'll need some help with my bags.
How can you have bags?
You just found out this is a hotel.
This is a hotel?
Oh. SpongeBob.
Yes, Squidward?
Take Patrick and he's bags to his room.
What about my Krabby Patty?
And bring him a Krabby Patty.
Squidward, you can take Patrick's bags up to his room.
SpongeBob, you go make the Krabby Patty.
Oh, Mr. Krabs.
What's the matter? Afraid of a little manual labor?
"I'm Squidward, and I have to work for a living."
[crying]
Fine. Let's go, Patrick.
[grunting]
Step right up, folks.
Take a ride on the Krusty Sponge Fun Train.
Tickets are only $1.98. Seat belts not included.
[cheering]
Okay, how am I gonna do this now?
[groaning]
Mommy, is that you?
[panting]
[whistle blowing]
Mr. Krabs, I really think
I should be getting back to the grill now.
Are you kidding, lad?
Just look at all these paying customers.
Who's ready for another lap?!
[cheering]
Hey, Squidward, look at this.
We're charging 52 smackeroos for this little guy.
[laughing]
Oh! What is that?
[laughing] I don't know.
Some kind of bean paste or something.
Wrong, monsieur!
It is ze Rare Fruit of ze Kazook Tree.
So it's supposed to smell like a rotten gym socks?
Its naturally rancid odor can only be neutralized
by shredded gold.
Shredded... gold? [screaming]
Couldn't we use less expensive ingredients?
Price can be no object when dealing
with exquisite food like zis.
It must be prepared
with only the finest ingredients,
and eaten with only the finest silverware,
while sitting on the finest furniture!
Zis... is not ze chair I ordered.
Yeah, well you see those were out of stock.
And zis fork of plastic...
Spray painted to look silver, is it not?
[chuckling nervously]
I cannot prepare food UNDER ZESE CONDITIONS!
All right, sir, it's time.
Time? But it's too soon.
I'm not ready to let them go free.
But you said to go ahead with the plan
no matter how hard you fight me.
I-I don't remember saying anything like that.
I do.
[gasping]
Free Krabby Patties!
Get your totally and completely free of charge
Krabby Patty!
No!
It's for your own good, Eugene.
Free Krabby Patties!
Come get your free Krabby Patties!
[echoing]
Phew. For a second there,
I thought we were going to have to give away
a ton of Krabby Patties but it looks like free
ain't even enough to jump start me business.
Wait. Free ain't even enough? Me businesses is doomed.
[crying]
I'll have a medium fries, a large Krabby Patty
and a medium drink.
Coming right up, sir.
SpongeBob, I need a medium fries,
large Krabby Patty and a medium drink.
I'll have that ready in two shakes
of a lamb ray's tail. [laughing]
[humming]
That oughtta fix it.
Thank you. Come again.