hi I'm Tim Cavanagh comedian speaker and future Nobel Prize winner welcome to
my video saturday i was in madison wisconsin eyes out the mall and i feel
bad i need a woman cry out of the mall well she came up to me with a clipboard
she said do you mind if i ask a couple questions i said no that's fine she said
on average how much money do you make every year I thought about it but the
best straight face I could manage I said 250 thousand dollars she says what do
you do for a living I said they take surveys over at the other mall and yeah
she didn't think it's funny but I agree with you guys it it really kind of was I
have a nephew just apply for a job out at the mall said the job applications
have gotten very complicated this one had a lot of fill-in-the-blank questions
a lot of true false questions one question read when I'm at work my mind
is generally blank he put true
I like to customize every show that I do I did a show recently for blain's farm
and fleet a Midwest retailer with 34 stores it fireman fleet you could pick
up just about everything you could possibly need for your home garden and
farm based on a conference call I had with them we're asked about their issues
and their people I came up with the following customized segment before
coming up to the Abbey I ask the nice folks here blain's farm and fleet to
send me some information about the company and their kind enough to send me
an advance copy of the next fleeting moments magazine which happened to be
the swimsuit edition and let me just say six pages of Bob Glaser and little
speedos
more information than i wanted to have to be honest with you is bobby er I yeah
I didn't recognize him with the pants and everything but anyway now i know
that i was introduced tonight as a comedian but now that i have your
attention I'd like to talk to you a little bit about amway yeah apparently
some of you guys have heard that one before I tell you what I think that this
store manager meeting is a great idea gives everybody a chance to get together
to do some networking to keep up with all that's happening in the industry and
it's important to keep up these days i'll tell you the business world is
crazy so many companies in trouble so many companies going under right now i'm
reading a book called the history of lehman brothers I'm up to chapter 12 you
know which is one chapter further than they got so feeling pretty good about
myself there but last week I was talking to my dad I said I'm doing a show next
week for blain's farm and fleet he said oh yeah I've seen those stores out there
but I've never been in one it's kind of like a Walmart isn't it and they said no
it's not like Walmart at all I mean first of all farm and fleet has the
highest quality products number one number two you can buy all kinds of
things at a farm and fleet that you could never get at walmart for instance
go up to a Walmart associates someday and say hey what do you have for the
treatment of hoof rot infection if any of dr. Naylor's products at all they
just look at you with that Walmart look but I but my favorite is to go in there
and you say hey do you have this month's edition of donkeys and mules
don't do that they sometimes they call the police and say I don't know what
kind of freak that guy is but anyway before dinner had a long talk with Ken
Peterson I didn't want to he just kept talking but we got talking about
teamwork and that's one of the things that I think makes this company so
successful is its commitment to teamwork and just a sports team so sometimes make
themselves stronger by making trades with other teams the same is true in
business and that's why I'm excited to announce that farm and fleet is trading
Pete Lombardo to fleet farm for a 1996 ford pickup and to office temps to be
named later so
by mr. tires anyway you've been who retired so to speak but down talking to
Bob lane before coming out if send me that next summer they're going to expand
the meeting and they're going to bring back at the farm and fleet golf outing
you know which i think is a great idea they're giving it an official name and
everything they're going to call it the Tom cask up because if you play golf
anywhere near Tom cast you'd better be wearing a cup I love my audiences and I
just like to have fun talking to people here's a fun exchange I had with a woman
who is attending a dinner for Grinnell mutual reinsurance company so so great
at sue woods oh and you're with Grinnell mutual here's the meeting on that bad
telling you what this why is this suit yourself you're just know i'm here with
that I'm a guest of someone is with your best of some of those and that would be
this guy behind you I chips a Jerry nice to see a pleasure to have in your
welcome I got ya your head you're not playing anyway so Jerry works for the
company is there anything good good for you my gosh what does he do you have any
idea what he does not at all that's a perfectly safe you know it's better to
know ahead to see if that I was going to ask if he was a hands-on but anyway even
wrong I love you dorable here yeah yeah you're missing some of the best stuff
anyway soup great to have you here my guest Jarrod what do you do I'm a chief
financial officer yeah this guy says he writes my check yeah funny anyway I got
a good idea that cost can't make them paper really anyway uh oh great so so my
gosh so Lisa CFO that's a big deal chief financial officer my gosh is he pretty
generous with those money around the house I don't ask have you ever watched
it on get out for permission OIC ok you just
dirt yeah I just go ahead and send them I'll go and spend it yeah there's oh my
gosh kind of like some of the people organ under your g Rihanna I'm joking
again you know what the bag that people left that's very going to get me in
trouble alright so soon as are you involved in the insurance business at
all nine a minister
I don't know I should apologize for everything for my even being here so so
you're a minister and you're married to the money guy over here yeah there you
go and there there's some new testament you got to do with my gosh confirming
brenders under seizure you know how do you go to you so your Minister wow that
is very impressive i'll tell you what boy what denomination are you um it's
christian church cuz like was a christ christian church disciples of christ
older ones of the motorcycles I saw Jim oh yeah potato I shouldn't mention that
all right so the disciples of crisis all right that's right yeah good for you i
got well had a minister um since 598 but just serving a church for the last two
years or three years he does number side over two years okay so you've just been
touched like that at a church for two years and the first ten years you were
you're preaching but nobody would listen people I'd all right there you go and
he'd give me money and go to the shore I like your business plan that is smart as
it works out so if things go well that you're how many people you having your
and your denomination there your congregation it's a small church it's
only about 50 people oh yeah but that's but that's good that's there's a good
way to start my god as i said i sell my soul 50 sing it out 100 there's more
money for you so that works out three well I'm a little you know one thing
that one thing that they didn't match my introduction I I was a teacher at an
all-girls catholic high school but I was a religion teacher believe it or not I'm
not making that up this is it and it's so weird if the hardest question I got
and I had need your advice on this because I don't think I answered it
correctly the kids would i say this me what's the difference between purgatory
and hell no you translated as well hell of course is very very hot in purgatory
it's not so much the heat it's the humidity
time