Hi guys, Melissa from CloudMom.
So today I'm getting like pretty intimate and in depth about something that's going
on with my kids, which is a huge milestone and nothing I've ever talked about before
on the channel or on my site.
And that is, that I had the big sex talk with my two older boys.
And I didn't know whether I was going to do a video or a vlog about it, because it's so
personal.
But then I sort of sat back and thought about it, and I thought that, you know, I really
kind of learned a lot.
It's such a process for me that I wanted to share it, because I think it's something that
a lot of parents are going through.
And so here's kind of like the gist of what happened, and I, you know, what happened with
me having this talk and what I said.
And I'd love to hear from you guys whether you've talked to your kids about sex, you
know, what you said, how it came up and how you're looking at the whole thing.
So basically, my oldest child is in fourth grade.
My second child is in third grade.
And I've been hearing a lot that it's about time to have an initial talk with my kids,
those two older kids, about sex, because if I don't, they might hear some bad information.
They might think there's something, you know, funny or weird and I won't be sort of setting
the stage to have good communication with them down the line when other issues come
up, like you know, things you want to warn them about on the internet or pornography,
or like, you know that they have to be careful with strangers or you know, body parts.
All of these sort of important things, so I've been actually reading about this and
I've been told that it's really important to have an initial discussion, not getting
into too much detail.
Being very clear about what it's about, about what it means, because if you don't, your
child won't associate you as being someone with whom he or she can talk about these things.
And that that's not really a good thing.
Okay.
So that's kind of what happened.
And that's sort of, I was really uncomfortable, and I couldn't believe it!
Because here I am on the video, I'm like, "Breasts," and you know, "Nursing," and talk
about how to take care of your vagina after you have the baby.
Like all these things I'm pretty open, but when it came to my own boys and talking about
sex, I was like, "Aaahhh!"
I'm like, "I can't do it.
Mark, you have to do it.
I can't do it."
He's like, "I'll do it.
I don't care."
And meanwhile he could like, you would never want to get on YouTube and talk about personal
things about babies.
So I just think it's funny.
Like you kind of realize what your own comfort zone is, and I felt like so uncomfortable.
But anyway, so we were in this little restaurant, um, when we were on vacation, and there was
this sign up that said something about casual sex.
And I was kind of annoyed that sign was there, but whatever.
And my boys were all giggling and laughing, and then they went up and they looked at it
later, and they're giggling and laughing.
So I was like, "Huh."
And the next morning, for some reason, Beckett was like on the potty, the girls were playing,
and I had my two oldest boys at the table in the kitchen, alone.
And I, honestly, I don't even know what got into me, but someone had told me, "Make it
quick.
Make it casual.
Don't have some big ceremony over it.
Just say it!"
And somehow, because I'm really uncomfortable saying these words, I don't know if it's from
my Catholic upbringing or whatever.
But I just said, "Do you guys know what sex is?"
And one of them looks at me is like, "Mom, is that like when you stick that thing up
your butt?"
He, meaning the tampon, and I was like, "No.
That's when Mommy gets her period, which is something that happens to women when they're
older, you know, once a month.
But it doesn't happen when you're pregnant and you're going to have a baby."
And I was like, "Do you guys know what sex is?"
And I said, "Sex is when a man and, you know, a woman, they have this intimate act where
they love each other, and they trust each other and the man puts his penis in the woman's
vagina."
And I look over, and these two boys are sitting there like.
But at the same time, they're like, "Okay Mom."
And I was like, "And, you know it's basically something that's very special, it's very intimate."
Anyway, so they both looked kind of happy in a way, and like they felt like these big
kids.
And they were happy that I talked to them about it.
And I was like, "Look, we're going to talk more about these things.
You should come to me with any questions."
And they were like, "Okay Mom."
And they're like, "Can we play, uh, Minecraft now?"
I was like, "Alright."
So, you know, obviously they had like moved on to something else right away.
And I didn't want to make more out of it, so I just let it go.
So that was our big talk, and I couldn't believe it.
I was like in shock.
I had to go call my sisters like, "I can't believe I did it!
I can't believe it!"
And um, anyway, so I'm happy that that happened.
And actually, something happened after that where I went to this really incredible parent
talk and people were talking about things on the internet, and with this Minecraft game,
and how there can be people sort of penetrating your world and asking you.
And you know, I was like happy, because this one parent said, "You need to have this initial
talk so that you have the words and you have the sort of ability to communicate about other
things that get more complicated down the line."
So I thought, you know, that's all good.
And you don't have to do it all in this one first talk.
But anyway, that's kind of what happened to me.
So please weigh in if, you know you guys have talked to your kids.
Did you buy a book?
How did you go about it?
At what age?
What did you say?
How did you deal with the whole issue of sex, you know, inside and outside of marriage or
committed relationships?
Did you get into that?
I'd love to hear.
And um, love to hear how you think I did.
I, I think it went okay, not perfect, but okay.
And thank you so much.
I'm going to continue to sort of chronicle this a little bit on CloudMom as my kids get
older.
And thank you so much for watching.