Translator: Michele Gianella Reviewer: Nicoletta Pedrana
Thank you for waiting.
Thank you very much.
Answer honestly: how are you doing?
Well, very well.
But I'm doing better than you, want to know why?
Because tomorrow I'm getting married!
Feel free to clap!
(Applause)
Thank you!
I didn't even invite you, thank you!
You're nice, but I was joking, and you fell for it.
I'm not getting married tomorrow.
Not because I'm single...
I mean, how could I be?
Thanks for your laughters. Not sure why.
I'm not getting married tomorrow
because the person I love is a woman
and in Italy in 2021 we don't have equal marriage,
meaning for same-gender couples.
So I love a woman, I don't love a man
and for that I lose my right to get married.
Aside from live shows, one of the things I enjoy doing the most
is writing and making short internet videos
where I deal with social issues that are close to my heart,
one of which was, as I said, equal marriage.
"What do you mean it doesn't exist?"
one great internet writer commented.
"Italy is full of homosexual marriages nowadays!".
And I saw a bunch of people
following suit and endorsing him,
but no: for a handful of years, since 2016,
there have been civil unions, which are not equal marriage.
You know that internet joke,
"When you buy it online"
and it shows, I don't know, a picture of Anna Marchesini or Gigi Proietti;
and then "when it arrives", and there's a picture of Pio and Amedeo -
let's say, a realization
of your misplaced expectations.
And it's the exact same thing:
you were expecting marriage and what arrived was civil unions
which, let's remember, are only given to same-gender couples,
as if to remind us that their situation is different,
and it is different for many reasons.
Not only, as you may remember,
do civil unions, unlike marriage,
not provide the right to adopt,
but, for example, they don't even include a faithfulness clause.
And why is there not faithfulness clause?
"Well, that's easy!" he answered me.
"Because it's obvious.
Unlike us of the traditional family,
how can homosexuals ever be faithful to one another,
since we know they live lives of promiscuity
and rainbow glitter, latex suits,
silicone strap-ons with adjustable belts,
fake leather whips,
S&M cat o' nine tail cats at only Euro 19,90?"
That's not traditional, baby!
"I'm sorry...Some unresolved existential fragility ..."
But in a certain way our friend was right,
because these modifications to the laws
were made precisely to establish and rule, once and for all,
that homosexual couples
were not valid, stable, dignified like heterosexual ones.
But I know the problem is, a fair share of the population thinks:
"But what if" like he said
"we approve these laws,
and then we are suddenly overtaken
by the gay lobby
and then we can't even imagine
what would happen to our nation, to our children!".
Unfortunately,
not only can we imagine, but we can see
what happens to a nation
when it approves a law like, for example,
that of equal marriage.
Because some nations have already done it.
I will only list, as an example, the European ones.
Austria, Belgium, Denmark, Finland,
France, Germany, Iceland, Ireland,
Luxemburg, Malta, Norway, the Netherlands,
Portugal, United Kingdom, Spain, Sweden,
and as of two weeks ago Switzerland joined in,
saying that "Oh well, we're neutral, not fascists!"
(Applause)
Well -
Not sure why, but Switzerland to me sounds just like my grandmother.
We are the only country in Western Europe
to not have equal marriage.
But guys, nobody makes pizza like we do!
Well, priorities.
Anyway, I don't know if I want to get married or not,
but I demand the opportunity to do it like everyone else,
and, like everyone else, to join this unnatural bond
that will most likely end in an expensive divorce,
just like all my straight friends teach us
with their 23,5% of conjugal failures!
I don't know if I want children,
I don't know,
but I demand the opportunity to have them like everyone else,
and, like everyone else, to make mistakes,
cause traumas
and guarantee prosperity
to future generations of psychotherapists.
In the ranking for human rights
for LGBT+ people,
Italy is in 35th place on a list of 49 European countries.
Not even Juve this year scores that bad.
Today we've talked a lot about progress,
about who we are
and about who we are preparing to become
and I really hope
that precisely in the name of progress
we can start looking around other than forward,
because we risk to use "progress"
as an excuse
to let the usual people move faster,
and leave the usual people behind.
A society that discriminates
is not a society that can truly progress.
I prepared for you some slides
to show you the data
on homobitransphobic hate crimes in Italy.
I prepared them so they should -
If I press the button -
Thank you.
(Applause)
I pressed the green button,
either the red one works or the building will explode -
Nothing blew up, but it's not working.
It's not working?
Ok -
But I can see myself from there,
so I'm basically pranking myself.
It's not working.
Oh, well.
No marriage, no slides, this is how it's going today.
Nothing, ok.
Anyway I'm sure,
if there's someone
commenting live about what's happening
they're saying "You deserve this!"
(Laughter)
It's nice to see "N.YOU", I get it's "NEW",
maybe the batteries are dead, maybe - "new", "new", nice -
Well, very well.
Ah, thank you for the support.
(Applause)
Thank you for the support.
Well, I had prepared some beautiful slides,
but evidently technology is rebelling
and there's a clash with the theme that of lately we can say -
(Mic breaks)
Sorry, one question: is Curia in the audience?
Because I said "clash with the theme"
and maybe someone -
(Mic starts again)
Ah!
Thank you!
Applause, thank you so much.
Ok, fantastic.
Mic yes, slides no.
"Where's the gay lobby when you need it?", I would say right now.
Anyway, the only thing that's working
is the screen with the words "Your time is over!"
Very well!
So I will finish anyway even without the slides.
Also because I know,
you might get home late because of me.
"Where were you?" they say, "It's all the LP2GW community's fault!".
So let's end it here.
So, what I can tell you is this:
there are four million estimated LGBT+ people in Italy
and these 4 million people don't have the same right as everyone else.
Now this fight is not only mine or of these four million people,
but it is all of our fight, because ours is a society that discriminates
and doesn't guarantee equal rights to all individuals.
And whoever in a conflict between oppressors and oppressed
decides to not take a side,
I'm sorry, they also took the side of the oppressors
because there's no such neutrality when it comes to discrimination.
So tonight, in this few minutes,
you have supported me, you have applauded me, you have helped me
by believing that something wasn't working.
I beg you to do the same now for something that doesn't actually work.
Not thanks to this remote and this projector
which have always worked -
we're in a theatre, people, not in a parliament.
[Let's do something, now]
Thank you.
(Applause)