- You know, we all get stuck on our smart devices
a little too much of the time
and this guy is no different.
His name is Earl, but you spell it U-R-L.
Please help me welcome the new guy, Url.
(upbeat rock music) (audience cheering)
(audience cheering)
(audience laughing)
Hi, Url.
Hey, dude.
What are you doing?
I'm texting.
I know, but why now?
Url?
I'm texting.
Okay, but you know we have an audience.
Yeah, a lot of them are texting too.
(audience laughing)
Who are you texting?
I just texted you, "Hi, Jeff."
It says, "Hi, jerk."
(audience laughing)
Oh, damn you, autocorrect.
(audience laughing)
Why are you texting when we could be talking?
Where are you talking when we could be texting?
You know, Url, speaking in person is a better form
of communication.
Says you, boomer.
Okay, how about this?
Did you know that when I was your age, water was free?
Seriously?
I guess next you're gonna tell me you paid for porn.
Actually we did, yeah.
But today we pay for water and porn is free.
(audience laughing)
That's right.
I think we can agree on one thing.
Good trade off.
Yep. Cool.
All right.
(audience laughing)
How about this?
You know my generation invented the internet
and the personal computer.
Oh, so without you guys, I wouldn't have my phone.
Probably not.
What are you doing?
I just gave through the highest compliment
someone my age can.
What's that?
I just followed you on TikTok.
Okay but right now we're doing a live show
for a live audience.
Why?
They could just stay home and watch it on YouTube.
It's not gonna be on YouTube.
Yes it is.
(audience laughing)
No one here is recording it.
Dude, you are dumber than you look.
(audience laughing)
Things are not as good when you just see it on a screen.
Yeah, like what?
Like what a concert, sports.
Sex.
I would think it's not as good watching on a screen.
Yeah, you're watching the wrong sh (beep).
(audience laughing)
This is a live comedy show.
I'd rather watch it on TV.
Why?
I could fast forward through the lame stuff.
Have you seen any lame stuff so far tonight?
No.
Thank you.
Because I've been on my phone.
(audience laughing)
So you're addicted to your phone?
Yeah and?
Many of us are but you don't think
too much phone time is a bad thing?
Just make sure the camera doesn't come on
when you're toilet texting.
Well, I don't think that's ever happened to me.
(audience laughing)