Well, here's what people are talking about, you guys.
Yesterday was Easter and April Fool's.
Which makes sense.
It makes sense, 'cause Easter was the day
when Jesus came back and was like, "April Fool's."
And they go, "Oh."
And this morning, the White House
hosted their annual Easter Egg Roll.
When President Trump first heard
there were a bunch of bunnies on the front lawn,
he told his lawyer to pay them off.
He's like, "Make this go away."
[ Applause ]
During the event, Trump made some remarks
while standing next to the Easter bunny.
Take a look at this picture.
Yeah.
[ Laughter ]
That was right after the Easter bunny
was told that he'd been fired.
So you can tell. He was like...
[ Applause ]
Through the mask, the bunny told Trump,
[Russian accent] "This is last favor I do for you, Donald.
No more favors.
Heh. Happy Easter."
[ Normal voice ] At the same event,
Education Secretary Betsy DeVos
read a book to a group of little kids.
It was a sweet moment when one of the kids said,
"Sound it out, Betsy. You can do it. Just...
Very cl-- I think I can, I think I can."
During his speech, Trump was talking about the White House.
I think he forgot what it was called. Watch this.
-...keep this incredible house
or building or whatever you want to call it,
because there really is no name for it.
It is special.
[ Laughter ]
-[ Laughs ]
-"It's a house. It is white.
And that's why I call it 'the big building.'
It's a very special, big, special place.
Right, Easter bunny?
[ Laughs ]
I want to thank this incredible creature next to me,
this big-eared rat.
This albino squirrel.
Whatever you -- There's no name for him.
Whatever you want to call him, he's a very special thing."
[ Applause ]
And did you see this?
A photo of President Trump with all the White House interns
is going viral, because of its lack of diversity.
This is a real photo. Take a look at this.
Ooh, boy. Not a lot of diversity there.
But to get a better sense of the situation,
let's see what some of the interns are thinking.
For instance, this intern said...
That's -- That's diverse. -Yeah, that's diverse.
[ Applause ]
-This intern said...
This intern said...
[ Laughter ]
And finally this intern said...
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ]
Get this -- President Trump has declared April
National Sexual Assault Awareness Month...
which means April is also
National Presidential Unawareness Month.
It's like...
[ Applause ]
This weekend, President Trump tweeted
that Mexico isn't doing enough to stop people
from crossing the border
and threatened to end NAFTA.
Then Mexican presidential candidate
Andrés Manuel López Obrador issued a response.
This is real. He said...
"Mexico and its people will not be the piñata
of any foreign government."
Then Britain's prime minister added...
"Nor will Britain and its people
be the Cadbury Crèème Egg of any foreign government."
[ Cheers and applause ]
Then Obrador replied... "Just to be clear,
the metaphor wasn't really about candy.
It was just about being something
that people blindly attack."
Then Switzerland's president said, "Totally, and I agree --
no nation should be the Toblerone
of any foreign government."
To which Obrador replied,
And finally, President Trump said,
"Wait. Mexico's got candy? Let's break down the wall!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Break it down!"
This weekend, the movie "Ready Player One"
topped the box office.
It's about a world where people escape reality
by playing a computer game.
When Americans were asked if they'd ever be sucked
into a digital world like that,
they said, "One sec. Sorry.
What? What's that? Sorry. I'm so sorry."
[ Cackles ]
Today, the Yankees had to postpone
their home opener because of a snowstorm.
You could tell it was cold
'cause the foot-long hot dogs were only 5 inches.
-Ho! Ho!
♪♪♪♪
Hey!
Ho! [ Laughs ]
-Seventh-inning shrinkage.
-Two balls, one strike.
[ Laughter ]
-Didn't even get to first base.
Some celebrity news -- Khloé Kardashian says
she can't wait to go to the gym after her baby is born.
Then every other new parent was like,
"Yeah, let us know how that plan works out.
Yeah, that -- You'll be at the gym all of the time."
I heard about an 80-year-old man in Arizona
who is on trial for robbing a bank.
Apparently he slipped the teller a note that said,
"Do you know why I came in here?"
[ Laughter ]
And finally, it just came out that Pope Francis once said
that there is no such thing as hell.
Then he got stuck in boarding group C on Spirit Airlines
and said, "Never mind. I found it."
We have a great show tonight. Give it up for The Roots!