- So you've probably heard the stereotype
that people with aspect is aren't good at body language.
And today I basically want to flip
that completely on its head.
The problem is actually that other people
can't read my body language.
So what that looks like in real life is from my perspective,
people behave really, really weird.
They do things unpredictably unexpectedly.
They just react to me in really, really strange ways
that make no sense to me.
Because they have interpreted something that I've said
or done in a way that was not intended at all.
So to give you a really stereotypical example,
how I pay attention.
If I want to pay attention to something,
I will generally incline my ear
to what I'm paying attention to
and most other people
will incline their eyes
to what they're paying attention to.
So people react to me as if I'm not listening,
which is really weird because we're having a conversation.
You say something that's interesting,
I'm interested, am accused of not being interested.
What went wrong?
What did I do wrong?
And one of the reasons I wanted to make this video today
is because it's very often the case that the person
on the spectrum is told what they are doing wrong.
And communication is a two way street.
You cannot say that one person is doing it wrong.
Now, if I were attempting to communicate something,
consciously to someone else using body language
and I wasn't doing very good job,
sure maybe I should be doing other things.
But when I just naturally do something
and I am grossly misinterpreted then,
there's really not that much I can do about that.
So someone like me is actually really, really sensitive
to the body language of other people.
And I am very good at reading what they are saying to me.
What's much, much harder
is preventing the other person
from misunderstanding things about me.
So for example, when I'm excited, I don't jump up and down
and move things around.
I'm like,
(tapping)
i tap on things,
(tapping)
or I click my fingers,
(clicking fingers)
or something like that,
that's what I do when I'm really, really excited.
But it doesn't communicate that message to someone else.
So at the end of the day,
for someone like me who can actually read
other people's body language very well,
I still get left with the burden of being hyper vigilant all
the time to make sure that one tiny little mistake
from my part doesn't cause a misunderstanding
in someone else.
So that's meant that I've had to learn from a very early age
not to express my emotions.
I can't free otherwise I'll be misinterpreted.
Don't act on impulses.
You'll be misinterpreted.
Don't do anything.
Basically just don't do anything.
React with caution to the world because if you do anything,
the chances of people misinterpreting
you are really, really high.
So always be on your guard.
Make sure that everything is filtered to the nth degree
to make sure that none of these crazy, volatile,
neurotypicals around me
get the wrong message.
It can be really draining
to have to artificially
try to look happy.
How long am I going to stay happy
for others to believe me that I'm happy?
I have to artificially villain,
look am happy guys.
Look, guys, I'm happy.
Say, look, I'm happy.
No wonder as,
be stereo typically love their alone time
where you don't have to be happy.
You don't have to project this artificial face to the world
so that people get the right message from me.
So I don't dance essentially, unless I'm with a partner
and I know what to do.
But one time I was living in Seattle
and actually I'm going to say that for another time,
asked me about my Gumby story.
Anyway, I think that's going to have to do for today.
Thanks for listening and I'll see you another time.
Okay Bye.
(clicking figures)