>> Jon: JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN, EVERYBODY.
GIVE IT UP.
WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.
WELCOME BACK TO OUR LIVE POSTDEBATE SHOW.
GOING INTO TONIGHT'S DEBATE, DONALD TRUMP HAS BEEN TELLING
HIS VOTERS AND HIS SUPPORTERTHE ELECTION IS RIGGED.G
AND YESTERDAY, TRUMP HELD A RALLY IN GREEN BAY, WISCONSIN--
WHICH FINALLY EXPLAINS WHY HE'S BEEN WEARING THAT
CHEESEHEAD-- AND HE TOLD THE CROWD ABOUT THE MOST SINISTER
RIGGING OF ALL.
>> MORE THAN 1.8 MILLION DECEASED INDIVIDUALS RIGHT NOW
ARE LISTED AS VOTERS.
OH, THAT'S WONDERFUL.
( BOOING ) WELL, IF THEY ARE GOING TO VOTE
FOR ME, WE WILL THINK ABOUT IT, RIGHT?
BUT I HAVE A FEELING THEY'RE NOT GOING TO VOTE FOR ME.
OF THE 1.8 MILLION, 1.8 MILLION IS VOTING FOR SOMEBODY ELSE.
>> Stephen: YES, IF YOU BELIEVE DONALD TRUMP, ALL THE
DEAD PEOPLE ARE VOTING FOR CLINTON.
AND IF YOU BELIEVE HIS CLAIMS ABOUT HER HEALTH-- SHE'S ONE OF
THEM.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
NOW, EVERYONE, EVERYONE-- EVERYONE WHO IS NOT DONALD TRUMP
SAYS THAT VOTER FRAUD IS INCREDIBLY RARE.
IN FACT, A COMPREHENSIVE STUDY OF VOTES CAST SINCE 2000 FOUND
THAT THERE WERE ONLY 31 CREDIBLE INCIDENTS OF VOTER FRAUD OUT OF
1 BILLION BALLOTS CAST.
31 IN A BILLION.
COINCIDENTALLY, ALSO GARY JOHNSON'S ODDS OF WINNING THE
PRESIDENCY.
FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT!
WELL, I WANTED TO FIND OUT IF THE DEAD ARE REALLY VOTING, SO I
DID WHAT ANY JOURNALIST WOULD DO.
I SACRIFICED AN INTERN TO THE ELDER GODS, AND REACHED THROUGH
THE VEIL OF DEATH TO COMMUNICATE WITH A 19th CENTURY VOTER.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) PLEASE WELCOME, LIVE VIA
PLEASE WELCOME, LIVE VIA SATELLITE, HORACE McNULTY.
MR. McNULTY THANK YOU FOR JOINING US LIVE VIA SATELLITE.
>> HAPPY TO BE HERE, STEPHEN, BUT I'M NOT TECHNICALLY "LIVE"
VIA SATELLITE.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU.
SO HORACE, I HOPE WE DIDN'T TAKE YOU AWAY FROM ANYTHING
IMPORTANT.
>> NO, I JUST WAS PLAYING GOLF WITH MARILYN MONROE
AND JULIUS CEASAR. W >> Stephen: REALLY?
WHO WON?
>> NO ONE.
WE EACH GOT 18 HOLES IN ONE.
HEAVEN IS INCREDIBLY BORING.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
SO, HORACE, WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF DONALD TRUMP'S CLAIMS THAT THE
DEAD ARE ALL VOTING FOR DEMOCRATS?
>> WELL, I'M ACTUALLY A LIFE-LONG REPUBLICAN.
>> Stephen: OH, YOU SUPPORT TRUMP?
>> NO.
A "LIFE" LONG REPUBLICAN.
I'M A DEATH-LONG-L INDEPENDENT.
I VOTE ON THE ISSUES.
>> Stephen: WHAT ARE THE ISSUES?
>> HEALTH CARE.
IF I HAD ANY I'D STILL BE ALIVE.
>> Stephen: YOU CHID FROM A PREVENTIBLE DISEASE?
>> HAVE THEY FOUND A TREATMENT FOR SUCKED INTO A WHEAT
THRASHER.
I'M FOR HILLARY ALL THE WAY.
>> Stephen: TRUMP IS RIGHT, THE SYSTEM IS RIGGED?
>> IT'S NOT RIGGED.
YOU LOOK AT THE OPTIONS.
GARY JOHNSON, JILL STEIN.
THEY DON'T HAVE A CHANCE IN HELL.
I KNOW BECAUSE I'VE GOT SOME FRIENDS DOWN THERE.
ALAN, ENJOY THE FIRE, BUDDY.
SHOULDN'T HAVE PUSHED ME IN THAT WHEAT THRASHER.
I'M ON TV!
>> Stephen: LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.
TRUMP DOES NOT APPEAL TO YOU AT ALL.
>> OH, SURE, I LOVED TRUMP, ON "THE APPRENTICE."
BUT AS PRESIDENT, NO.
DEAR GOD, EVEN IN MY DAY WE DIDN'T TREAT WOMEN LIKE THAT.
BACK THEN, A WOMAN'S BEST CAREER OPTION WAS DYING IN CHILD BIRTH.
>> Stephen: SOUND LIKE A ROUGH TIME.
SO THAT'S IT.
ALL THE DEAD ARE VOTING FOR HILLARY CLINTON.
>> YES, INDEED, WE ALL ARE.
EVEN BERNIE SANDERS.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: HORACE, HORR
ABERNIE STANDERS ISN'T DEAD?
>> RIGHT.
( LAUGHTER )ER >> Stephen: HORACE McNULTY,
EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH SOMEBODY COMPLETELY DIFFERENT,