THIS CROWD IS AMAZING RIGHT HERE
IN NASHVILLE.
YOU KNOW HIM, YOU LOVE HIM, HE’S
THE FOX NEWS -- HOST A FOX ACROSS AMERICA, WELCOME JIMMY!
ACROSS AMERICA, WELCOME JIMMY!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> YO, NASHVILLE!
HEY, GIRL.
I’VE GOT TO TELL YOU, I LOVE
THIS CROWD BECAUSE YOU ARE
LIVING IN A FREE COUNTRY AND
THAT IS AMAZING.
WHERE I’M FROM A NEW YORK,
EVERYBODY’S GOT THREE MASKS,
THEY ARE SCARED TO LEAVE THE
HOUSE.
THE ONLY THING PEOPLE ARE SCARED
OF IN NASHVILLE IS RUNNING OUT
OF BEER, LET’S BE HONEST BURIED
IT’S SO TRUE, YOU KNOW?
FOR THOSE OF YOU WATCHING ON TV
AT HOME WHO DON’T SPEAK
NASHVILLE, IT’S A WORD THAT
MEANS ANYTHING YOU WANT AFTER
SIX BEERS, AM I RIGHT?
RIGHT?
YOU WANT ANOTHER BEER?
I’M JUST TELLING YOU, I LOVE IT
BECAUSE THIS TOWN DOES NOT GIVE
AN F.
I GOT PICKED UP AT THE AIRPORT,
GOT -- THE GUY DRIVING THE CAB,
I WOULD LIKE HEY, DO I NEED TO
WHERE A MASK DOWN TOWN AND HE
SAID ONLY IF YOU PLAN ON ROBBING
A BANK AND HE WAS -- HE MADE A
RIGHT TURN AND WAS LIKE WOO!
I HAD A GREAT CHRISTMAS, BUT I
GOT TO TELL YOU, THE SUPPLY
CHAIN IS A MESS, OKAY?
MY WIFE, JENNY, SHE WANTED ONE
OF THOSE AMAZON ALEXIS FOR
CHRISTMAS.
SO I GO OUT AND I SPENT ALL THIS
MONEY ON AN ALEXA BUT THE SUPPLY
CHAIN GETS SCREWED UP AND THEY
SEND ME THE CHEAP KNOCKOFF THAT DOESN’T TAKE QUESTIONS CALLED A
DOESN’T TAKE QUESTIONS CALLED A
KAMALA.
BUT, YO!
IT’S BAD.
EVERY TIME YOU ASK IT A QUESTION
IT’S ASSISTANT CUTS IT OFF IN
THE DRIVING DIRECTIONS ARE
USELESS, IT DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO
GET TO THE SOUTHERN BORDER.
IT’S REALLY BAD.
BUT SERIOUSLY, 2021 WILL FOREVER
BE REMEMBERED AS THE YEAR THAT
WE FREED BRITNEY AND PUT OUR
PRESIDENT INTO A
CONSERVATORSHIP.
THINK ABOUT THAT.
FOR REAL THOUGH.
I DON’T CARE HOW YOU VOTE, ONE
WHERE THE OTHER, YOU HAVE TO
ADMIT, JOE BIDEN IS THE ONLY
HUMAN BEING YOU KNOW WHO QUITS
TALKING IN THE MIDDLE OF A
SENTENCE BECAUSE HE’S DONE, YOU
KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING?
IT WOULD BE LIKE -- YOU KNOW,
THE RAPIDLY RISING -- I DON’T
KNOW -- YO, THIS DUDE IS SENDING
IN THE PUNT TEAM ON SECOND DOWN.
IT’S NOT GOOD.
AND I CARE, MAN, I’M RAISING A
KID IN THIS COUNTRY, 13-YEAR-OLD
LINCOLN, MY SON, GREAT KID, BUT
THAT NAME BECAME CONTROVERSIAL
WITH THE WOKE CROWD THIS YEAR SO
NOW HE’S GOING BY HIS MIDDLE
NAME, O.J.
BUT I REALLY DO -- I PAY
ATTENTION TO THE COUNTRY AND I
THINK IF YOU REALLY WANTED TO
HELP IN 2022, EVERYBODY NEEDS TO
CALM DOWN.
SERIOUSLY, CALM DOWN.
FOR REAL.
HERE’S THE THING, REALLY QUICK,
JUST HEAR ME OUT.
EVERYBODY, WE LIVE THE GREATEST
COUNTRY THE WORLD HAS EVER
KNOWN, THAT’S A STATEMENT OF
FACT, THERE’S NEVER BEEN A MORE
TOLERANT TIME IN OUR SOCIETY
THEM RIGHT NOW, NEVER MORE
INCLUSIVE TIME IN OUR WORKFORCE
THE NOW BUT EVERYBODY’S OPEN
STOMACH BUSY FIGHTING AND
SOCIAL MEDIA WE ARE MISSING A
GREAT PARTY.
I WILL GIVE YOU A GOOD EXAMPLE.
THE NAVY ADMITTED THIS YEAR THAT
ALIENS CAME TO AMERICA AND NO
ONE EVEN NOTICED THE NEW STORY.
THINK ABOUT THAT, ET DIDN’T
PHONE HOME, HE TOOK IN OVER AND
NO ONE CARED BECAUSE WE WERE
FIGHTING ON TWITTER.
IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A BIG STORY
IF FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN
BECAUSE IT WAS THE ONLY ALIEN
THAT GOT SENT BACK UNDER BIDEN,
AND HERE WE ARE.
BUT I’M JUST SAYING.
LIKE IF YOU WANT TO HELP THE
SITUATION, JUST CALM DOWN A
LITTLE BIT, YOU KNOW?
PEOPLE DON’T REALIZE HOW OUT OF
THEIR MINDS THEY ARE.
IT LIKE ON FACEBOOK, EVERYBODY
HAS A FACEBOOK FRIEND WHO’S
BECOME LIKE A CONSTITUTIONAL
LAWYER THAT’S WRITING LIKE 9,000
WORD ESSAYS.
FACEBOOK NEEDS A BUTTON CALLED
WHO ASKED YOU, YOU KNOW WHAT I’M
SAYING?
MY BODY PAINTS HOUSES, HE WROTE
A 9,000 WORD ESSAY ABOUT THE
DEBT CEILING.
HOW ABOUT YOU STICK TO THE
LIVING ROOM CEILING AND WE ALL
GET ON WITH OUR LIVES?
HEY, MY MAN, A LITTLE KID RIGHT
HERE IN NASHVILLE.
GET HIM A BEER!
COME ON!
YOU CALL THIS A TOWN?
LITTLE -- WRITE PARENTING RIGHT
THERE.
I LOVE IT.
AND I LOVE YOUR MOM BECAUSE
EVERY TIME YOU LAUGH YOU SHOW A
LITTLE MORE CLEAVAGE IN OUR, SO
THANK YOU.
VERY NICE.
THIS IS AMAZING.
BUT SERIOUSLY, TWO THINGS YOU
GOT TO DO, OKAY?
YOU’VE GOT TO CALM DOWN, YOU’VE GOT TO SUPPORT THE COPS.
GOT TO SUPPORT THE COPS.
WE HAVE TO SUPPORT THE COPS.
IF YOU ARE A MAN OR WOMAN WHO
PUTS ON THE UNIFORM, THANK YOU,
WE LOVE YOU, YOU ARE IMPORTANT
TO US.
AND EVERYBODY NEEDS TO KNOW
THAT.
I KNOW THAT BECAUSE EVERYONE IN
MY FAMILY IS A COP.
I WOULD HAVE BEEN A COP IF IT
WEREN’T FOR THIS THING CALLED A
BACKGROUND CHECK.
BUT YOU NEVER KNOW.
IF BUT IT’S AMAZING BECAUSE MY
BROTHER JUST BECAME A COP IN
NEW YORK CITY AND I CALLED HIM
UP THE FIRST A TUITION GOOD LUCK
AND OUR DAYS WERE LIKE
IDENTICAL.
I WAS LIKE HOW ARE YOU MAKING
OUTS OF OUR?
IS LIKE GOOD, JUST ON THE LESTER
IS TRYING TO SEE IF THIS GUY HAD
WEED ON HIM, THEN I FOLLOWED A
HOOKER FOR TWO BLOCKS.
AND I WAS LIKE ME TOO!
>> AS A MATTER FACT, WE’RE ABOUT
TO BUST A MASSAGE PARLOR.
BEST ADVICE I CAN GIVE YOU, MAN,
I SAY THIS EVERY DAY ON FOX
ACROSS AMERICA AND THAT’S WHY --
I JUST WANT TO CLEAR UP THE
CONFUSION BECAUSE I KNOW WE HAVE
A LOT OF DUSEK ACTS HERE IN
NASHVILLE AND LET’S BE HONEST, I
LOOK LIKE THE LEAD SINGER OF A
BOY BAND CALLED IN REHAB.
BUT THE BEST ADVICE I CAN GIVE
YOU FOR 2022, AND I REALLY DO
MEAN THIS, IS TO BE A
REPUBLICAN, BE A DEMOCRAT,
WHATEVER.
REPUBLICAN, DEMOCRAT INDEPENDENT
INDEPENDENT, JUST DON’T BE AN
ASSHOLE, YOU KNOW WHAT I’M
SAYING?