- Let's be completely transparent
for a moment about why we negotiate.
We want something we don't currently have,
like a car or a six-figure income
or a private office.
Or maybe we want to see movie A,
and our partner wants to see movie B.
So humans being human,
we set out to convince our negotiation partners
that what we want is what they should want.
But persuading people to see things our way
is rarely a winning strategy.
We might be so persuasive that we're successful
in the short-term, but in the long-term,
using persuasion tactics alone
is hard on relationships,
personal and professional.
So let's take a look
at the Body of Work Psychology and Marketing
Professor Robert Cialdini
calls Principles of Influence,
and how using them in combination
with interest-based strategies might help you,
and your conversation partner
get more of what you both want.
Let's take a look at
the six Principles of Influence.
First, the Principle of Reciprocity.
Is when people are motivated
to return a favor or a good deed,
or respond to a positive action
with another positive action.
Next, consistency.
This is really about integrity.
Once we commit to something
we have a strong drive to do what we say
we're going to do.
So if your boss promised you an increase
in a salary by a certain,
date and that date's passed,
reminding her about your agreement
would be using the Principle of Consistency
to get things moving.
Next is social proof.
And this is conforming to custom
or group behavior.
You're more likely to put a tip in the jar
if there's already money in it,
or work overtime on a project
if the whole team is doing the same.
Next, is the principle of liking,
and this means that people who are similar
to us are more likely to be influenced by us.
So if you worked on a successful project
with people who are all parents of toddlers,
they might be motivated
to work with you in the future
not only because of the success of the project,
but because you have something in common,
toddlers.
The next principle is authority.
This is our tendency to obey or believe people
in positions of power,
like a boss or a professor.
But power is not just about
someone's title or position.
It can also be things like,
their expertise and influence.
So if you're trying to get a promotion,
building relationships with senior leaders,
and decision-makers would be making
use of the authority principle.
And finally, scarcity.
Now this is the idea that if something
is in limited supply, it will create demand.
We see, see this in advertising all the time.
By now, supplies are limited.
In the workplace,
scarcity may take the form of urgency.
If you're trying to get buy-in
on an idea or a project,
you might stress the impact
that acting immediately will have
on the competition
or say productivity and bottom lines.
So let's apply one of these principles
to the working remotely on Friday example.
Let's say your boss like you,
is the parent of a toddler.
Here you can use the Principle of Liking
to frame your ask.
"I know you know how hard it is
to share parenting responsibilities,
and make good on deliverables.
So I'm curious.
What are your thoughts about working remotely
one day a week?"
See for you,
an essential piece of your preparation,
and negotiation is to think about
which principle might already be operating
in your relationship.
And if you lean on that principle in combination
with all the interest-based strategies
we've covered,
you'll improve your chances
of getting to an agreement
that benefits both of you.
(upbeat instrumental music)