ANYONE WATCH THE DEMOCRATIC DEBATE LAST NIGHT?
ME TOO.
ME, TOO.
IT WAS DIFFERENT.
THE REPUBLICAN DEBATES HAVE BEEN FILLED WITH DRAMA, BUT LAST
NIGHT, NOTHING REALLY OUTRAGEOUS HAPPENED.
THERE WERE NO PERSONAL ATTACKS, NO SALTY LANGUAGE-- EXCEPT FROM
THE BACK WALL, WHICH FOR SOME REASON KEPT REPEATING "FCNN."
I DON'T SEE WHY.
I THINK THEY DID A FINE JOB.
I THINK CNN DID A FINE JOB.
THAT'S INAPPROPRIATE.
IT WAS MOSTLY THE USUAL DEMOCRATIC TALKING POINTS:
TAX THE RICH, FREE COLLEGE.
ONCE-A-MONTH BAGEL DAY WILL BE DOUGHNUT DAY.
AND NO SURPRISE, THE SENATOR FROM VERMONT STAYED TRUE TO HIS
CORE MESSAGE.
>> IT IS IMMORAL AND WRONG THAT THE TOP 0.1% IN THIS COUNTRY OWN
ALMOST 90%, ALMOST AS MUCH WEALTH AS THE BOTTOM 90%.
57% OF ALL NEW INCOME IS GOING TO THE TOP 1%.
1%.
51%.
36%.
90%.
80%.
63%.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: I WOULD NOT WANT
TO SPLIT A CHECK WITH BERNIE SANDERS.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) "WHAT IS THIS?
5% OF THE PEOPLE AT THIS TABLE ARE PAYING 40% OF THE TIP, WHICH
SHOULD BE 15%, 20% FOR GOOD SERVICE, OR 18.5% FOR A PARTY OF
SIX OR MORE.
I'M TIRED OF THE GREAT MAJORITY OF SELTZER DRINKERS FOOTING THE
BILL FOR A SMALL NUMBER OF MIMOSA DRINKERS!
YES, I DID TAKE A BITE OF THE FRUIT PLATE, BUT I WAS ON THE
RECORD AGAINST ORDERING IT.
THE POINT IS, THIS BRUNCH IS RIGGED!
THIS BRUNCH IS RIGGED!" ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
GOTTA MOP UP AFTER THAT IMPRESSION.
( LAUGHTER ) BUT IT WAS SECRETARY HILLARY
CLINTON WHO HAD THE MOST QUOTED MOMENT OF THE NIGHT, AND EVEN
MORE IMPRESSIVE IT CAME OUT OF BERNIE SANDERS' MOUTH.
IS >> LET ME SAY SOMETHING THAT MAY
NOT BE GREAT POLITICS, AND THAT IS THAT THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ARE
SICK AND TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT YOUR DAMN EMAILS.
>> THANK YOU. ME TOO.
ME TOO.
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: YOU KNOW YOUR DEBATE
WAS PRETTY UNEVENTFUL WHEN THE BANNER HEADLINE THE NEXT DAY IS
"ELDERLY MAN NOT INTERESTED IN E-MAIL."
( APPLAUSE ) MIX 'EM UP!
BUT THAT WASN'T THE ONLY GOOD MOMENT FOR SECRETARY CLINTON
LAST NIGHT.
SHE ALSO HAD SOME TOUGH TALK FOR WALL STREET.
>> I REPRESENTED WALL STREET AS A SENATOR FROM NEW YORK, AND I
WENT TO WALL STREET IN DECEMBER OF 2007 BEFORE THE BIG CRASH
THAT WE HAD, AND I BASICALLY SAID CUT IT OUT.
>> Stephen: YEAH!
BACK IN 2007, BEFORE THE BIG CRASH, SHE SAID, "CUT IT OUT!
I'VE HAD JUST ABOUT ENOUGH OF YOU COLLAPSING THE ECONOMY,
MISTER!
STOP IT RIGHT NOW OR YOU'RE GOING TO BED WITHOUT ANY
COCAINE."
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) OKAY?
NO, I'M-- NO!
NO!
OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE A LITTLE COCAINE."
AND HILLARY'S BIG NIGHT CLEARLY PLEASED HER BIGGEST FAN,
POTENTIAL FUTURE FIRST LADY'S MAN, BILL CLINTON, WHO TWEETED
THIS PHOTO OF HIMSELF WATCHING THE DEBATE IN HIS VEGAS HOTEL
ROOM, WHICH WAS VERY SUPPORTIVE OF HIM, AND ALSO ABSOLUTE PROOF
THAT HE SPENT ALL NIGHT IN THAT ROOM WATCHING CNN ALONE,
CERTAINLY NOT OUT ON THE VEGAS STRIP AND DEFINITELY NOT WITH
WHOEVER TOOK THAT PICTURE.
( LAUGHTER ) BUT THE NIGHT WASN'T ALL
SUBSTANCE.
THERE WERE ALSO THESE GUYS, LIKE FORMER VIRGINIA SENATOR AND
MAN HOLDING IN A BURP, JIM WEBB.
( APPLAUSE ) THIS IS-- A GOOD MAN, GOOD MAN.
THIS WAS A CANDIDATE WHO REALLY DEMANDED ATTENTION.
>> PEOPLE ARE GOING BACK AND FORTH HERE FOR TEN MINUTES HERE.
I'VE BEEN STANDING OVER HERE FOR TEN MINUTES TRYING.
I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR TEN MINUTES.
I WILL SAY THIS-- >> YOU'RE OVER YOUR TIME.
>> WELL, YOU'VE LET A LOT OF PEOPLE GO OVER THEIR TIME.
THIS HASN'T BEEN EQUAL, EQUAL TIME.
>> Stephen: A POWERFUL MESSAGE.
I CAN ALREADY SEE HIS NEW SLOGAN:
"JIM WEBB: LEADERSHIP FOR A BRIGHTER-- HOLD ON A MINUTE.
I THOUGHT I HAD MORE SPACE.
THIS ISN'T FAIR.
THE OTHER CANDIDATES ALL HAD MUCH BIGGER YARD SIGNS!"
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) BUT THE GUY ON STAGE THAT I
REALLY FELT BAD FOR WAS RHODE ISLAND GOVERNOR AND WINNER
OF THE "WHY I SHOULD BE IN THIS DEBATE" HIGH SCHOOL ESSAY
CONTEST, LINCOLN CHAFFEE.
HE DIDN'T GET ASKED TOO MANY QUESTIONS, AND WHEN HE DID, IT
LOOKED LIKE THIS.
>> GOVERNOR CHAFEE, YOU'VE ATTACKED SECRETARY CLINTON FOR
BEING TOO CLOSE TO WALL STREET BANKS.
IN 1999, YOU VOTED FOR THE VERY BILL THAT MADE BANKS BIGGER.
>> THE GLASS-STEAGALL WAS MY VERY FIRST VOTE.
I HAD JUST ARRIVED.
MY DAD DIED IN OFFICE.
I WAS APPOINTED TO OFFICE.
>> ARE YOU SAYING YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT YOU WERE VOTING FOR?
>> I JUST ARRIVED IN THE SENATE.
I THINK WE GET SOME TAKEOVERS, AND THAT WAS ONE.
IT WAS MY VERY FIRST VOTE, AND IT WAS 95-- 92.5--
>> WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT YOU THAT
YOU'RE CASTING A VOTE FOR SOMETHING YOU WEREN'T REALLY
SURE ABOUT?
>> I THINK YOU'RE BEING A LITTLE ROUGH.
I JUST ARRIVED AT THE UNITED STATES SENATE.
>> Stephen: "C'MON, ANDERSON COOPER.
YOU'RE BEING A LITTLE ROUGH ON LINC HERE.
HE JUST ARRIVED IN THE UNITED STATES SENATE.
YOU KNOW THE OTHER SENATORS WERE GIVING HIM SWIRLIES AND RUNNING
HIM THROUGH THE SPANKING MACHINE.
HE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
I MEAN, JIMINY CHRISTMAS, STOP GIVING HIM THE BUSINESS.
WHY DON'T YOU ASK JIM WEBB SOMETHING.
HE HASN'T TALKED IN, LIKE, TEN MINUTES!"
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) STILL, IT WAS AN EXCITING NIGHT
FOR THESE GUYS.
AFTER ALL, COME NOVEMBER, ONE OF THEM COULD END UP VOTING FOR
PRESIDENT.